Physical or Emotional connection to start off with?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 30, 2009 10:14 PM GMT
    Me and a friend had this discussion to see which way is better to start relationships. i'm more of a person that likes to get to know the other better to and see if things will go further, and he's more of a person that its more of a physical aspect (not necessarily sex) and take it from there.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 30, 2009 10:16 PM GMT
    then you are a person who likes to get to know someone first and take it from there and he is someone who likes to get to know someone first and take it from there

    you both cross the stream, you both do it in your own way
  • ShawnTX

    Posts: 2484

    Mar 30, 2009 10:18 PM GMT
    The better way is the way that works best, and is the most natural, for you.
  • junknemesis

    Posts: 682

    Mar 31, 2009 12:52 AM GMT
    I tend to develop and emotional attraction first in many cases. For example...

    I had a friend who generally isn't considered attractive. Girls won't give him the time of day... there's a word for girls like them.
    ANYWAY we became close friends, and he was a great guy. As the weeks passed, I found myself liking him more and more. One day we were walking around a park talking about stuff like highschool, relationships, (lack thereof) and other somewhat personal things, and I looked over at him and thought,
    "I wish I could tell you how beautiful you are."

    My emotional attraction to him grew and overrode my physical opinion of what is hot, sexy, attractive, etc.
    I haven't spoken to him in about 4 months, as he moved away for the semester, but I am still here for him, even if just as a friend.

    If we could be more then friends I would in a heartbeat.

    P.S. sorry I can't describe him better, and I don't want to post a pic out of respect for him and his privacy, stuff like that.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 31, 2009 1:43 AM GMT
    Please forgive me for using a fishing analogy of all things. But if you want to catch a nice fish you need to have a nice shiny lure. Personally, I would find it very hard to develop an emotional attachment if I don't feel there is any chemistry between us.

    Now the internet is a fine place to make a mistake to prove this point. You talk to a guy, check out his picture, and fall deeply, madly in lust/love. Then one day you meet and something just doesn't click.
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    Mar 31, 2009 2:19 AM GMT
    My extensive experience with gay men of all ages has shown me it is best to work on an emotional attraction before the physical stuff. Initial physical attraction does not count... that a given essential to most every relationhip.

    Damn with all my experience I should write a book.
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    Mar 31, 2009 2:38 AM GMT
    I like the a mixture of both and seriously it really all depends on my mood. I'd like to say that for the most part I like the company of person who is well balanced and has a brain but I'llbe serious when I say that I see some people who I would just like to to get to know based purely off os the physical attraction.

    I don't think it makes me a bad person. It makes me honest and secure in my wants, desires, and over all nature as a man for every man. I don't care who you are and yes I am speaking for men everywhere, has seen someone they found so attractive for physical reason that all they wanna do with that person is just have that good old fun. I'm not saying every guy has done it physically but if you watch porn and have any decent amount of hormones then you have thought about it and that's as good.

    icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 31, 2009 2:41 AM GMT
    I believe in kicking the tires and taking him out for a test drive first. The emotional piece is important but unless there's a physical attraction, things won't last.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 31, 2009 3:38 AM GMT
    All that glitters isnt gold.

    Being immediately physically attracted doesnt mean there is any lasting chemistry for a relationship.

    In fact, it has been the observation for years by my friends and me that sex immediately upon meeting usually kills a deeper emotional development.

    I have also observed that as you get to know a person the way you "see" his physical appearance changes. Someone who might not have popped your cork (or should I say more accurately...cock) when you first laid eyes on him becomes endearingly attractive as his physical appearance is seen with a veneer of personality.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 31, 2009 3:48 AM GMT
    Emotional Attachment is very important in any relationship. If 2 people emotionally connect first, things will grow very well. And believe me after emotional attachment comes, the physical attachment is much more romantic and pleasing.
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    Mar 31, 2009 5:02 AM GMT
    I believe an emotional development in the beginning helps for a long term relationship.

    Anyone can fool around in the beginning but if you don't truly know the person your hooking up with, then what other connection is there besides physical?