Do you judge people by the preferences they list in their profiles?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 01, 2009 8:28 PM GMT
    I was recently chastised on another site for being narcissistic and extremely picky because of the types of photos I have of myself (some of which are also posted here) and because I described the type of guy I generally go for and what types of things turn me on. This guy just went off on me when I reacted poorly to his attempt at humorously (and poorly I might add in my opinion) trying to make an impression on me and possibly chat me up. I mean he went on and on about how shallow I was and no wonder I'm still single because I want all these things in a guy, etc. So I was just wondering, does a guy having a "laundry list" of things in his profile that he likes in men or is looking for in a boyfriend turn you off or help you decide if and how you'd want to approach someone? I choose the latter. Thoughts?
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    Apr 01, 2009 8:40 PM GMT
    I do not judge people based on their preferences in their profiles. People are attracted to different things for different reasons. Also, your preferences do not seem to be too constrictive, and I have seen a lot worse on people too. Also, you list qualities of guys you like, not just the physical traits. That is something I do not even do, so I would consider myself more shallow than you. The guy was just a jerk, and probably was pissed cause he thinks your physically attractive and he doesn't fit any of your many preferences, I wouldn't worry about it. You shouldn't settle for someone who would not make you happy.
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    Apr 01, 2009 10:12 PM GMT
    Keep your profile as is, it's the other guy who needs to improve his come-ons. Someone who contacts you just to put you down, has too much time on their hands and low self-confidence. Don't even ignore him, as they say in Vienna.
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    Apr 01, 2009 10:30 PM GMT
    I think it's fine to list the qualities you're looking for. As long as it's flexible, and not a strict list of requirements. What you wrote is fine. I think the other guy just took it the wrong way.
  • Sk8Tex

    Posts: 738

    Apr 01, 2009 10:39 PM GMT
    The internet is just like a box of raisins, there is a slight possibility this product may contain nuts.

    Keep it as is icon_cool.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 01, 2009 10:40 PM GMT
    your profile is hot, you look amazing....show off what you have achieved.....the guy dosent know what he is talking about!

    bloody amazing arms!
  • jgymnast733

    Posts: 1783

    Apr 01, 2009 10:48 PM GMT
    lol,,if a guy has an entire page of his likes and dislikes i tend to click away, because he's way too uptight..I mean you gotta leave people room to breath.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 01, 2009 10:55 PM GMT

    That's not your problem anymore, it's his problem anymore.
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    Apr 01, 2009 10:56 PM GMT
    Shortnsexystud saidI was recently chastised on another site for being narcissistic and extremely picky because of the types of photos I have of myself (some of which are also posted here) and because I described the type of guy I generally go for and what types of things turn me on. This guy just went off on me when I reacted poorly to his attempt at humorously (and poorly I might add in my opinion) trying to make an impression on me and possibly chat me up. I mean he went on and on about how shallow I was and no wonder I'm still single because I want all these things in a guy, etc. So I was just wondering, does a guy having a "laundry list" of things in his profile that he likes in men or is looking for in a boyfriend turn you off or help you decide if and how you'd want to approach someone? I choose the latter. Thoughts?



    OK course I do. And I'm askance that some people say they don't.icon_exclaim.gif A profile is the intro to a person since you are not meeting F2F. How can you but not judgeicon_question.gif. We all do judgeicon_exclaim.gif

    Depends on the laundry list. How long it is and what is being listed. Without having read your profile:
    - It can be a turn off to those who it excludes - which when you think of it
    is sort of the intent of the list.
    - It can turn some people off who would otherwise have given you a try as
    may show you to be negative,unreal, a player, a fake a bigot you name it
    - it can turn some people on coz they are of the same vein.

    But look at it this way... We are not attracted to everyone nor are everyone attracted to us. Some will think nothing of your list others will. At the end of the day we do what we think is best for us.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 01, 2009 11:06 PM GMT
    Do guys really spend more than 15 seconds reviewing a profile anyway?

    Profiles are like car brochures....look at the pics and quick scan for signs of any deal breakers and you're out. All that text is like ad copy.
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  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 01, 2009 11:09 PM GMT
    Beaux saidDo guys really spend more than 15 seconds reviewing a profile anyway?

    Profiles are like car brochures....look at the pics and quick scan for signs of any deal breakers and you're out. All that text is like ad copy.
    icon_wink.gif


    LOLicon_biggrin.gif. Imagine thaticon_exclaim.gif I've been doing it wrong all these yearsicon_exclaim.gificon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 01, 2009 11:09 PM GMT
    Beaux saidDo guys really spend more than 15 seconds reviewing a profile anyway?

    Profiles are like car brochures....look at the pics and quick scan for signs of any deal breakers and you're out. All that text is like ad copy.
    icon_wink.gif


    what he said. too little is sketchy, too much is overcompensating for something.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 01, 2009 11:55 PM GMT
    I read profiles a lot. I'm not gonna just go off a photo of someone just because they look good.

    I think when people are reading profiles they should take it with a grain of salt and go the distance. Worst case scenario is that person you find interesting from reading their profile will either not reply back or you figure out on your own that you guys don't click.

    I know a few people have purposely put up a laundry list to deter others who aren't serious. Quite smart I say since if a person is truly serious with their intentions then they will shift through the BS.

    To the OP, nothing work with having a preference. EVERYONE has one of some type and if they say otherwise they are lying. In cases like this you are pretty much damned if you do and damned if you don't so i say continue being you and hopefully someone will like you for it.

    After reading your profile I realize I don't meet certain requirements but youare still attractive. Keep up the good work, haus :-)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 02, 2009 12:30 AM GMT
    What's the point of attacking someone for their preferences? Who in their right mind would be attracted by someone scolding and lecturing them? If anything it just confirms the OP's hunch that certain types aren't his cup of tea.
    One of the ground rules of gay life is that not everyone is attracted to everyone. Accept it, deal with it, and move on.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 02, 2009 12:39 AM GMT
    in a way, yes i do.

    if i look at a profile and it says "NO BLACKS OR ASIANS, just a preference!"

    then i wont message them, even tho i am neither black or asian, i mean yea we all have our preferences but if someone you're not in to messages you just tell them you're not into them.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 02, 2009 1:45 AM GMT
    I do look at/for certain things but actually criticizing someones profile is rude. The guy has issues plain and simple. Probably likes you but knows or thinks he can't have you. I wouldn't waste my time on him.
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    Apr 02, 2009 2:27 AM GMT
    TexDef07 saidWhat's the point of attacking someone for their preferences? Who in their right mind would be attracted by someone scolding and lecturing them? If anything it just confirms the OP's hunch that certain types aren't his cup of tea.
    One of the ground rules of gay life is that not everyone is attracted to everyone. Accept it, deal with it, and move on.


    Perhaps the respondent was having a bad day
    Perhaps this was the 100th profile like this that he came across
    Perhaps the respondent liked the OP soley from his pic but the profile eliminates him without giving him a chance to apply for the position
    Perhaps there's more to the story than the OP is telling us

    There are so many variables....

    And remember that there's a very fine line between preference and bigotry
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 02, 2009 3:03 AM GMT
    I would say that you do it to show a preference and weed out those that aren't a match, and it seemed like it worked with this guy. You found out he wasn't a match by his actions.
  • junknemesis

    Posts: 682

    Apr 02, 2009 3:27 AM GMT
    I like to read profiles all the way. You have just the type of profile that should get good positive attention! Yes, I would say I judge a profile by it's detail, and I approve if someone lists off the qualities in a guy they like. I mean it says a lot about someone who knows them self well enough to know what they like in a person, rather then just saying "up for anything" which may not be true.

    I wouldn't say so much that I judge a person by the exact preferences, but there is basic judgment made on the person for the content (or lack thereof) of the profile. You say you don't want to talk to anyone without pics. In this day that makes perfect sense. Automated profiles and bots and unreal people just make things a hassle.

    It's good for you to be definitive on what you want. That also says you're a thoughtful, well thought out person who doesn't beat around the bush on important things.

    I give it a 10.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 02, 2009 1:14 PM GMT
    Everyone has a laundry list. Everyone. But we don't necessarily broadcast it in its entirety. The guy was a dick for laying into you, clearly. But I think you should trim a little from that section in your profile.

    Your ProfileQualities I look for: responsible, loving, supportive, fun, a great sense of humor, independent, open minded, communicative, social...


    Who wants to date an irresponsible, unloving, abusive, boring, dull, needy, close minded, cold person? While you may shop for men with that laundry list, your profile does not shop for you. It is more like a fishing lure. Simple, pretty, and shiny is a much more effective lure than your very precise list.

    Just an opinion from some guy with a blank profile.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 02, 2009 4:36 PM GMT
    I am glad I met my guy before the internet. It is really difficult to get a good read on a person without meeting him in person.

    The best profiles for me are those that give me a sense that the person is comfortable with who he is, and is willing to present himself honestly. Those that make me laugh are always a plus.

    A couple of favourites of mine are "Surfsdown" and "MunchingZombie's" old profile before he decided to dismember it. "Czarodziej's" is also quite good.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 02, 2009 4:52 PM GMT
    Just make sure you don't say "NO BLACKS OR NO ASIANS"

    This makes you a bigot and a racist. god forbid anyone have preferences for who they date and be willing to state as such.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 02, 2009 4:58 PM GMT
    I don't judge by what they have listed as preferences, but it definitely influences my decision to say hi or not. Like in the OP's case I would look at his list, and seeing that I don't fall into the parameters he's set forth, I wouldn't waste either of our time striking up a conversation. Lists can actually be very nice because they save time and disappointment for everyone concerned,
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 02, 2009 5:01 PM GMT
    I don't judge them by what their looking for.. I mean, it is their preference right? But if they do come off a bit narcissistic, then yea.. I'll more than likely think they are full of themselves and won't even try to say hi.
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    Apr 02, 2009 5:03 PM GMT
    chungo44 saidJust make sure you don't say "NO BLACKS OR NO ASIANS"

    This makes you a bigot and a racist. god forbid anyone have preferences for who they date and be willing to state as such.


    My list is now looking for 3rd year law student, 24y/o, 6', 172pounds, brown hair (that was once died blue), hazel eyes and somewhat offwhite ONLY.icon_biggrin.gif