is black out

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    Apr 02, 2009 12:32 AM GMT
    all i see and hear is how everyone prefers white or latin men and i was just wondering if black guys are off limits now (cause that kinda leaves me screwed)
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    Apr 02, 2009 12:38 AM GMT
    you aint a fad..

    I think a lot of black guys are hot and a lot of black guys are not.. but a lot of white guys are hot and A LOT of white guys are most decidedly not

    Same can be said about any group of people, some hot, some not..

    relax..
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    Apr 02, 2009 3:12 AM GMT
    I love black men...hot and erotic and very sensious....here is what one told me just tonight...

    lookin mighty tasty there all nekkid n the wilderness there bet ur asshole is as pink as bubblegum n twice as sweet...

    So kind of him to admire what I got....

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    Apr 02, 2009 3:15 AM GMT

    trustnme53 said(cause that kinda leaves me screwed)


    Actually, it would leave you anything but screwed! icon_razz.gif

    I thought this YouTube blogger could help us but I was WRONG!
    Worst video ever!
    ........................................................

    As a black man, especially a young one, you are working off a terrible image. In the 80's (I speak of this because I was growing up and I saw it, my grandmother and mother could tell you stories about before then), but every black man I saw was a dog and ignorant! There is a certain air that an intelligent, confident, and stable man has that I'm afraid black men have found that image to be a cop out or traitorous because I swear, it seems they try to be the antithesis of that image.
    Take the video for example, the creator claims to be a good black man, but his message is indescript, angry, riddled with curse words and grammatical faux paus. He sounds like the thing he is describing: this angry thuggish black image.

    In the black community, that image has become chic. Even when black guys "make it" they still persist in being thuggish: using the N word, cursing too much, sagging their jeans, and trying to act smooth all the time! They call it swagger, well it's played. I think a very sexy and comforting quality is a man that can be himself (no matter how weird) and doesn't have to hide behind this contrived wall called swagger. My beef with black men is that so much about them is ostentacious! From the car they drive, to the clothes they wear , to how they talk, is something they deemed acceptable to do, but is it really them? I rarely get that feeling of complete and utter confidence that this is the person they are, If they are genuine. I mean come on, do you really walk that way naturally, is that how you talk when noone is around, do you really fancy those clothes, that music.....that much?

    If my family could institutionalize me, they would....because i'm strange. But, the only reason I am strange to them is because I don't act like them. Well, they are strange to me because they all act the same.
    Just look at me and read my posts and you might find that I have distinct traits: love western clothes, kinda gruff, but still sweet, articulate, a little judgemental but fair, and very convinced not conceited icon_wink.gif.

    I can honestly say I'm pretty much the same person on any given day and my personality and processes are not always appreciated. I don't care because I know I'm not an act and I'm not an image. If I get pulled over or if I am treated unfairly, they just did that to James. So many black men identify with this black image and when that black image hands them lemons they blame that image: well why can't The Black Man catch a break, why is The Black Man labeled a Dog, and why is The Black Man prejudged!? The reason is because we've met The Black Man before and we didn't like him. He was a dead concept and he failed us. I have three cousins: Calvin, G, and Tony. I've never met either of them, just this blasted image. Oh, i've seen flashes of an emotion they rarely show or caught them doing something they never do or listening to a song on the radio they'd never listen to. They didn't claim the act as genuine, but rather regressed back into the image right before my eyes.

    I believe that gay men, while preferences and images are very much alive in our community, are still more attracted to genuine traits over those preferences and images. Mostly, what I see and hear from gay men is that they want to know their partner. Even a trick, most gay men could bore you to death about what's special about him. I think this attention to detail and persona definitely lends to my theory that gay men have more feminine traits than straight men. Women are very cerebral when it comes to their mates too and like to focus on the details about that person. Straight men are the oppostie, mostly focusing on the exterior, which explains why straight men and straight women stay at such odds.

    Since I have been out, men have seemed to be very attracted to my persona and never do I get the vibe that they are either attracted or unattracted to my image as a black man because basically there is no image. I'm just me. If I get praise it is for that: it was nice to meet me, not, it was nice to meet a black man that speaks well or is well mannered because that image is no where to be found, only thing there are my traits and my persona.

    I'm not telling you to hate being black or not be black. I'm suggesting you be yourself and inturn, you won't be black. If you are yourself and certain traits and parts of your persona manifest themselves as black like then fine, I have no issue with that because i'm getting you, even the learned bits and the societal bits that go into the big picture that is you. However, you and all these other black guys know what an act is.

    It scares people away because it has a stigma attached. It conjures up a past of criminal activity, promiscuity, and listlessness. Call me crazy, but the proof of the crossover into the gay community is quite apparent. We are leading AIDS infection rates and judging from messages I get online and pick ups I hear in real life, "Was gud wit u, sup, and you sho is fine!," that awful image is still alive and well. I do hate prejudice, but prejudice is often a lot like fear. I can't help but empathize when I've feared this image myself. I thought it was a natural eventuality for all of us! Turns out, it's just an affectation.

    LOL, you must think i'm crazy, but naugtha mean, cuz.....black is out, but you are not.

    MORE!
    If you pay attention to the black image, you will see that it mirrors the popular image of the time. I think more than any race of men, black men are more vulnerable to media propaganda and trends. Most other races have a strong culture and customs to hang on to, but what with that being taken from us long ago, we've only been able to throw together a very infantile identity. Our community is not as strong as it should be and the average black home is pitiful. The concept of togetherness seems to only be embraced by the religious side of our community but the religious side is then so exclusive too. Because religion is so cemented among blacks, it only creates a chasm that is sometimes insurmountable. Their is no us and them in a community and if there is, that community suffers.

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    Apr 02, 2009 3:16 AM GMT
    In order to become a well rounded person, certain needs must be met. I won't teach a class, but consult (Maslow's Hierarchy of needs) and you will find that certain needs have to be met externally before a person works on their internal persona or can even worry about their values or who they are.
    Food and shelter are two primaries and security and physcial safety follows.
    In a lot of these homes, shelter and food are met, if barely, but security and safety are most definitely not!
    How can a boy worry about personal values when his neighborhood is a war zone and his living room is a night spot? I should go into abuse which isn't a odd figure in homes with lesser educated parents and in incomplete homes like many of these black ones where the father (the rock of the home) is missing. It's no surprise that black men tend to flock to any "image" that creates a sense of security for them. I think a great deal of security comes from parents and community acceptance: it sure seems that way for white people. However, with the black community fractured and the average black home in shambles, that security can be delayed for years until that child grows up. By then, he is still a product of his environment and still in need of security and acceptance.
    It is not lost on me that the media's image of a black man looks an awful like this flawed concept of a black man I've been talking about. I know Obama is president now, but before him, I used to complain a lot about the black image on tv. It's all rappers and players.

    I made the only suggestion I could. More black men should retreat inside (for most they never have) and love, embrace, and let out what they find there. If I sound angry, I am a bit because I love what I am and I love people period, but I don't love put ons and especially this image because it is born of dysfunction. If you are black acting, you'll get my point and if not....understand, identify with me? LOL.
  • Delivis

    Posts: 2332

    Apr 02, 2009 3:33 AM GMT
    good post guilty

    I would just like to say...dont care who is not into you, not the sort of person you want to be with anyway.
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    Apr 02, 2009 3:36 AM GMT
    GuiltyGear saidIn order to become a well rounded person, certain needs must be met. I won't teach a class, but consult (Maslow's Hierarchy of needs) and you will find that certain needs have to be met externally before a person works on their internal persona or can even worry about their values or who they are.
    Food and shelter are two primaries and security and physcial safety follows.
    In a lot of these homes, shelter and food are met, if barely, but security and safety are most definitely not!
    How can a boy worry about personal values when his neighborhood is a war zone and his living room is a night spot? I should go into abuse which isn't a odd figure in homes with lesser educated parents and in incomplete homes like many of these black ones where the father (the rock of the home) is missing. It's no surprise that black men tend to flock to any "image" that creates a sense of security for them. I think a great deal of security comes from parents and community acceptance: it sure seems that way for white people. However, with the black community fractured and the average black home in shambles, that security can be delayed for years until that child grows up. By then, he is still a product of his environment and still in need of security and acceptance.
    It is not lost on me that the media's image of a black man looks an awful like this flawed concept of a black man I've been talking about. I know Obama is president now, but before him, I used to complain a lot about the black image on tv. It's all rappers and players.

    I made the only suggestion I could. More black men should retreat inside (for most they never have) and love, embrace, and let out what they find there. If I sound angry, I am a bit because I love what I am and I love people period, but I don't love put ons and especially this image because it is born of dysfunction. If you are black acting, you'll get my point and if not....understand, identify with me? LOL.


    Well Ilike you and you hot and I am sure a good lover!!

    XOXO
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 02, 2009 3:39 AM GMT
    trustnme53 saidall i see and hear is how everyone prefers white or latin men and i was just wondering if black guys are off limits now (cause that kinda leaves me screwed)


    your cute too!!

    Just work on you and don't dwell on what you think you do or do not have...you will get it trust me....apply the LAW OF ATTRACTION!!


  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 02, 2009 11:53 AM GMT
    trustnme53 saidall i see and hear is how everyone prefers white or latin men and i was just wondering if black guys are off limits now (cause that kinda leaves me screwed)


    You'll do just fine. icon_biggrin.gif
  • 4blkft

    Posts: 5

    Nov 12, 2010 2:01 PM GMT
    U r definately looking in the wrong places! In answer 2 ur question is black out - I wish in a perfect world i was the only white bottom in Harlem! My favorite flavor is chocolate & when my MASTER is black there is no better 4 me 2 be a slave 4!icon_biggrin.gificon_exclaim.gif
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    Nov 12, 2010 2:16 PM GMT
    In my book, no, black is not "out". It's the personality, the person that matters the most. I've gone out with several black guys, but we just didn't hit it off. That's okay, cause it's been like that with whites and latinos as well. Admittedly, I don't date often (I think pickings are slim around here, as far as I know of) but I'm willing when we seem to "fit one another' personality wise. Keep your chin up, be proud of who you are, and things will work out for the best in the long run.