Total Dissapointment

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    Oct 25, 2007 7:12 PM GMT
    Well my best friend is supose to leave or the CG this weekend on the 28th and he and i where supose to hang out fri and sat, i havent seen him for about a week now, and hes now decided that hes gonna go to the sesert and go riding instead of hanging out with me, im not gonna see him for about 3 months if not more. Im just really hurt and he doesnt seem to care.
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    Oct 25, 2007 7:18 PM GMT
    My best advice: Express your disappointment to him.
  • cowboyupnorth

    Posts: 264

    Oct 25, 2007 7:40 PM GMT
    I can identify with sometimes taking things personally, sometimes life sucks. Hang in there.
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    Oct 25, 2007 7:52 PM GMT
    Tell him that you were really looking forward to spend some time with him because you are going to miss him when he leaves. Maybe you can go riding with him if that is an alternative.

    Either way let him knnow how you feel. Maybe he just got sooo distracted that he just forgot.icon_smile.gif
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    Oct 25, 2007 7:56 PM GMT
    well i work in the morning so i cant, but he and i where supose to go to knotts scary farm tomorrow, and he specifically canceled cuz he wanted to go riding, hes been to the desert everyweekend for the last month at least, i let him know i was upset but it doesnt seem to have phased him. hes off with his gf today and he hasnt called.
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    Oct 25, 2007 8:57 PM GMT
    I hate to say it you may have to really exmaine the friendship in the harsh light of day?

    Do you and gf get along that could be a factor!

    I feel for you. My best friend lives on the west coast and before I moved here we spent as much time as we could and it really made a diffrence.

    I'm sorry that you are going through this and good luck!
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    Oct 25, 2007 9:38 PM GMT
    Probably it's OK to let him know that you're disappointed that you couldn't spend more time together, but I'd avoid laying it on too thick. Nobody has enough time to do everything that they'd like to, and not all friendships are necessarily symmetrical.
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    Oct 25, 2007 10:07 PM GMT
    By your replies I figured out your best friend is straight, I hate to say this but your friendship may be evolving to one that is not as close, these things happen as people enter their 20's especially if one is straight and the other is gay. I know the same thing happened to me as my straight friends lives went towards a wife, kids, etc..
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    Oct 25, 2007 10:17 PM GMT
    Mindgarden...not all friendships are necessarily symmetrical

    I like that! ... icon_biggrin.gif

    Well, you know my drum beat ... treat him as you would want to be treated. ... This is not a rule; it is a formula for deciding how to behave in just such a situation as this.

    So think on it and act accordingly. ... You can be assured that your actions will be sincere and no matter how he reacts, you will know that you could have done no better.

    I would be interested in hearing your thoughts on how you would want to be treated and if you think they are applicable in formulating your decision on how to handle this.
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    Oct 26, 2007 3:30 PM GMT
    It's also possible that this has nothing to do with you specifically, but that it's his way of pulling back so that leaving won't hurt so much.

    As hard as it may be, you have to remember that this is about his leaving - and I'd try to think about it that way and not add stress to things by either hanging on or making him feel guilty about it.

    In other words, to be a really good friend, you'll have to put his needs before your own this time.

    J.
  • Laurence

    Posts: 942

    Oct 26, 2007 4:24 PM GMT
    That's what friends are for. To let you down.

    You sound like a great guy. Don't take things too seriously or too personally.

    Friendships take work, but try to avoid being the one who does all the work.

    Lozx
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    Oct 28, 2007 2:34 AM GMT
    i have lots of friends. the best ones are the most forgiving. i try to be the same towards them.
    my oldest friends will say "we can go for months or longer without contact and then pick up right where we left off." it's true, and that's why they're my oldest friends.
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    Oct 28, 2007 3:05 AM GMT
    My best friend and I are on almost diametrical opposites when it comes to spending time together. I'm fine with emails and occasional phone calls, but my best friend wants to "get together" as much as possible. It gets tense from time to time--we make sacrifices. She accepts the fact that she's not going to get as much of my time as she'd like, and I give up segments of my weekend that I'd rather spend at home by myself. I'm truly sorry that you're going through this ...