GYM STARING: When it only adds up to Admiration.....

  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Apr 05, 2009 3:23 PM GMT
    We've had a variety of threads here about inappropriate behavior at the gym, from staring to comments, stalking... trying to figure if they are gay or what the attention, good or bad... really means.

    I wanted to bring something up that I think is valuable for all of us to remember... when it comes to someone staring at you....

    Maybe he's straight and is just noticing your efforts.

    I was in the locker room at the gym recently. If you dress on one side of the locker room and another guy is dressing on the other side of the group of lockers that runs down the middle, you can see the other side via a set of mirrors. I recently was in the process of dressing and just happened to look up and noticed a guy on the other side staring at me through the mirrors. A few minutes later, after finishing the dressing process, I noticed he was still looking. Did it bother me? Well I certainly noticed it, does it mean he's gay? Maybe.. maybe not.

    My point here is that the gym is filled with straight guys that check others out to see what kind of bodies other guys have. Nothing necessarily sexual.
    I think that keeping an open mind (about what a stare means) is really a very healthy thing.....
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Apr 05, 2009 3:26 PM GMT
    Maybe he thought he knew you from somewhere and couldn't place it.
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    Apr 05, 2009 4:03 PM GMT
    As I approach "creeper" age (to mention yet another thread) I'm just glad if I still have anything someone would want to stare at.
    Heck, if I know someone is watching, it helps me maintain form and posture.
    icon_wink.gif
    Yeah, I'm one of those sickening silver lining types.
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    Apr 05, 2009 4:06 PM GMT
    HndsmKansan saidWe've had a variety of threads here about inappropriate behavior at the gym, from staring to comments, stalking... trying to figure if they are gay or what the attention, good or bad... really means.

    I wanted to bring something up that I think is valuable for all of us to remember... when it comes to someone staring at you....

    Maybe he's straight and is just noticing your efforts.

    I was in the locker room at the gym recently. If you dress on one side of the locker room and another guy is dressing on the other side of the group of lockers that runs down the middle, you can see the other side via a set of mirrors. I recently was in the process of dressing and just happened to look up and noticed a guy on the other side staring at me through the mirrors. A few minutes later, after finishing the dressing process, I noticed he was still looking. Did it bother me? Well I certainly noticed it, does it mean he's gay? Maybe.. maybe not.

    My point here is that the gym is filled with straight guys that check others out to see what kind of bodies other guys have. Nothing necessarily sexual.
    I think that keeping an open mind (about what a stare means) is really a very healthy thing.....


    Being built invokes a long list of responses from others, many which are fairly primal. Unless they're obnoxious, I'd take it as a compliment and ignore them.
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    Apr 05, 2009 4:06 PM GMT
    If my local gym had guys from RJ working out there, it would be a real motivator to keep in my routine icon_smile.gif And yes, I'd look - but not stare.
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    Apr 05, 2009 4:13 PM GMT
    I believe all MEN look to some degree. Some of it is in admiration. Some are just checking out what routine you are doing. We all do it.
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    Apr 05, 2009 4:15 PM GMT
    One time when I was an Army Major, I was having a conversation with 2 male Lieutenant Colonels (the next higher rank above mine, which I later became), one of whom was my immediate boss, the other his fellow division chief on a General's staff. Somehow the topic of shy bladder came up, I think maybe because we were scheduled to visit some units training in the field, where latrine facilities were primitive or even non-existent, no privacy possible.

    I admitted to sometimes having the problem, mainly if some guy was staring at me. My boss said that was a problem when "queers" were around, but the other Lt. Colonel said not necessarily, that straight men did it too.

    He said all men liked to "check out the competition" and he did it himself. I was surprised to hear that, and insisted I never did that, not concerned about "competition" (possibly because I felt I didn't HAVE any competition to worry about? LOL!).

    The Lt. Colonel continued to explain that it happens all the time in group showers and locker rooms, and was perfectly normal. Again I denied I did that myself, which was mostly true, but not for a reason I wanted to admit. If if looked at naked guys there was a danger I'd get an erection, not a good thing in an Army facility. So I usually averted my eyes, and I assumed other guys did the same thing, both out of politeness, and from not wanting to be suspected of being gay.

    I still wonder if that other officer was right about all men having a natural urge to check out each other's dick size, or if he was a closet case. Despite being married with kids, one of his main hobbies was crocheting, which I always thought incongruous for an Infantry officer.

    What do you guys think? Do all men sneak stares at each other's junk, or is it just us gay guys who do it?
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    Apr 05, 2009 4:31 PM GMT
    Red_Vespa saidOne time when I was an Army Major, I was having a conversation with 2 male Lieutenant Colonels (the next higher rank above mine, which I later became), one who was my immediate boss, the other his fellow division chief on a General's staff. Somehow the topic of shy bladder came up, I think maybe because we were scheduled to visit some units training in the field, where latrine facilities were primitive or even non-existent, no privacy possible.

    I admitted to sometimes having the problem, mainly if some guy was staring at me. My boss said that was a problem when "queers" were around, but the other Lt. Colonel said not necessarily, that straight men did it too.

    He said all men liked to "check out the competition" and he did it himself. I was surprised to hear that, and insisted I never did that, not concerned about "competition" (possibly because I felt I didn't HAVE any competition to worry about? LOL!).

    The Lt. Colonel continued to explain that it happens all the time in group showers and locker rooms, and was perfectly normal. Again I denied I did that myself, which was mostly true, but not for a reason I wanted to admit. If if looked at naked guys there was a danger I'd get an erection, not a good thing in an Army facility. So I usually averted my eyes, and I assumed other guys did the same thing, both out of politeness, and from not wanting to be suspected of being gay.

    I still wonder if that other officer was right about all men having a natural urge to check out each other's dick size, or if he was a closet case. Despite being married with kids, one of his main hobbies was crocheting, which I always thought incongruous for an Infantry officer.

    What do you guys think? Do all men sneak stares at each other's junk, or is it just us gay guys who do it?


    if i'm looking at a guy in the locker room- i'm looking at his dickicon_exclaim.gif if i'm looking at him on the floor. i'm looking at him trying to figure out how big his dick would be.
  • Richbehr

    Posts: 75

    Apr 05, 2009 5:03 PM GMT
    I swear I must be the only gay guy at my gym. I mostly get stares from the women!!! and occasionaly I'll get a comment from one of the guys about the progress I've been making. But thats it.
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    Apr 05, 2009 5:25 PM GMT
    One factor in determining what someone's intention is comes down to your own psychology:

    Narcissistic people think that everyone looking at them is admiring them or jealous of them.

    Insecure people think that people looking at them are criticizing them.

    Confident people don't give a crap and just let people be people and do what they do.

    From the perspective of being gay or not, you just never know and there's really no need to analyze every look/stare you get. The only way to truly know is to catch them eye-to-eye and gauge their reactions.

    Do they quickly look away as if they got caught? Likely gay.
    Do they quickly look away with an "I'm better" reaction? Likely straight.
    Do they quickly look away with an "I'm better" reaction with a bit too much head-whip action? Likely gay and bitter.
    Do they look you straight in the eye, nod their head, and say, "wassup"? Likely straight or gay acting straight.
    Do they smile at you? Likely gay or straight and very happy.
    Do they look away with a very neutral turnaway? Likely straight.
    Do they proceed to look you up and down? Likely gay.
    Do they proceed to look you up and down, then smile? Gay and horny.
  • EricLA

    Posts: 3461

    Apr 05, 2009 5:30 PM GMT
    Kansan,

    I've had similar experiences. There was this one guy I thought looked pretty hot. Lean, but seemed to have good definition. He didn't really stare, but he came up to me a couple of times to find out what some of my exercises were. He really wanted to know what I did to my pecs to get the "shelf" look. I've seen him a few times since, and he usually says hi. Guess he's not the typical straight guy. (And I'm pretty confident he is straight.)
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    Apr 05, 2009 5:38 PM GMT
    Blackguy4you saidif i'm looking at a guy in the locker room- i'm looking at his dickicon_exclaim.gif if i'm looking at him on the floor. i'm looking at him trying to figure out how big his dick would be.

    Yeah, but you're gay. My question was whether ALL men did that (both straight & gay) or just gay ones. I assume gay men are likely to be checking out other guys. But do straight men do it too? And if so, why? Was that Lt. Colonel correct?
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    Apr 05, 2009 6:03 PM GMT
    I go to the gym pretty late and there aren't that many guys still working out - but I admit I check out hot guys if I see them. I pay attention to their form, their workout routine, their results. If they are looking at me I usually nod, maybe smile and say "How's it going?" I don't like too much chatter in the gym but a little of it is okay. Guys ask me questions about my routine or how I achieved my legs, abs, etc. I appreciate getting good comments and looks from guys. In the locker room I might notice a guy's look - or in the sauna. We all check each other out. I guess I sort of compare myself to other guys - to see how I'm doing as I age. The straight guys are amazing - seeing them get hard or half-hard in my presence throws me a little though. I don't know what message they're trying to send............wanting a trist or j.o. session? So I do nothing - as if I didn't notice. I'm shy I guess.icon_wink.gif
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Apr 05, 2009 6:05 PM GMT
    Jockbod48 said

    I'm shy I guess.icon_wink.gif



    OMG.. what (choke, choke)... did you really say that??? LOL

    icon_biggrin.gificon_wink.gif
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    Apr 05, 2009 6:42 PM GMT
    yes your gay when you do that, and at some point it gets to be a bother when guys keep doing it, even the creepy ones,

    just go up and say hi and say how you feel, instead of being a creep and lurking all the time.


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    Apr 05, 2009 6:47 PM GMT
    I hope EVERY PERSON on this site reads this. Because, HndsmKansan, you are right on!
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    Apr 05, 2009 6:56 PM GMT
    Red_Vespa said
    Blackguy4you saidif i'm looking at a guy in the locker room- i'm looking at his dickicon_exclaim.gif if i'm looking at him on the floor. i'm looking at him trying to figure out how big his dick would be.

    Yeah, but you're gay. My question was whether ALL men did that (both straight & gay) or just gay ones. I assume gay men are likely to be checking out other guys. But do straight men do it too? And if so, why? Was that Lt. Colonel correct?


    I asked my straight friends - they said they wouldn't check out another guy. Now I don't know if they are saying this coz this would be what a straight guy is supposed to say or not. But I would have to take their answer at face value.

    I've seen my trainer in the locker room for going on 3 years now. I've never noticed him checking out any guys - and he's straight
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    Apr 05, 2009 6:59 PM GMT
    I get *UNDRESSED* by dudes eyeballs! at 1st i was annoyed by it, now i like it hahahahahahaha, im gettin sick in my old ageicon_eek.gificon_lol.gif
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    Apr 05, 2009 8:51 PM GMT
    Jockbod48 saidI go to the gym pretty late and there aren't that many guys still working out - but I admit I check out hot guys if I see them. I pay attention to their form, their workout routine, their results. If they are looking at me I usually nod, maybe smile and say "How's it going?" I don't like too much chatter in the gym but a little of it is okay. Guys ask me questions about my routine or how I achieved my legs, abs, etc. I appreciate getting good comments and looks from guys. In the locker room I might notice a guy's look - or in the sauna. We all check each other out. I guess I sort of compare myself to other guys - to see how I'm doing as I age. The straight guys are amazing - seeing them get hard or half-hard in my presence throws me a little though. I don't know what message they're trying to send............wanting a trist or j.o. session? So I do nothing - as if I didn't notice. I'm shy I guess.icon_wink.gif


    An erection means they were attracted to you. An erection does not, however, mean they want to f*** or be f***ed by you.

    Just think of it as a non verbal compliment of how attractive they think you are.
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    Apr 05, 2009 10:04 PM GMT
    EastCoastNAZ saidOne factor in determining what someone's intention is comes down to your own psychology:

    Narcissistic people think that everyone looking at them is admiring them or jealous of them.

    Insecure people think that people looking at them are criticizing them.

    Confident people don't give a crap and just let people be people and do what they do.

    From the perspective of being gay or not, you just never know and there's really no need to analyze every look/stare you get. The only way to truly know is to catch them eye-to-eye and gauge their reactions.

    Do they quickly look away as if they got caught? Likely gay.
    Do they quickly look away with an "I'm better" reaction? Likely straight.
    Do they quickly look away with an "I'm better" reaction with a bit too much head-whip action? Likely gay and bitter.
    Do they look you straight in the eye, nod their head, and say, "wassup"? Likely straight or gay acting straight.
    Do they smile at you? Likely gay or straight and very happy.
    Do they look away with a very neutral turnaway? Likely straight.
    Do they proceed to look you up and down? Likely gay.
    Do they proceed to look you up and down, then smile? Gay and horny.


    I love it. Thanks for the info. icon_cool.gif
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    Apr 05, 2009 10:15 PM GMT
    What if you are looking at the guy, and he is also looking at you at the same time for about 2 seconds. It is sort of an acknowledgement of existence, as if we are saying to each other, "I see you, and you see me too." It's a little weird, especially since it has been going on for a long time.
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    Apr 05, 2009 10:29 PM GMT
    Blackguy4you saidI asked my straight friends - they said they wouldn't check out another guy. Now I don't know if they are saying this coz this would be what a straight guy is supposed to say or not. But I would have to take their answer at face value.

    I've seen my trainer in the locker room for going on 3 years now. I've never noticed him checking out any guys - and he's straight

    So maybe that Lt. Colonel who told me that was a closeted gay, as I suspected he was. I had always assumed that totally straight guys didn't look at all, only gays did.

    So of course I ALWAYS try to sneak a peek, but that's entirely to be expected, since I'm gay. I was just curious if straight guys did the same thing.
  • bkjhebert

    Posts: 40

    Apr 05, 2009 11:07 PM GMT
    Everyone enjoys a compliment if its delievered in the appropriate way. A stare or notice at the gym is usually a subtle compliment. I find that guys can sometimes cross the line with inappropriate stares or continuous attention. Subtlety is usually always appreciated.
  • JohnG16775

    Posts: 235

    Apr 05, 2009 11:18 PM GMT
    one guy with a locker next to me is fricking hot hot hot, so I try not to look but I cant help myself. He is remarkable, young and educated, what a combo, plus wear hot jock straps, I bet he is gay, but our gym is very hetero.
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    Apr 05, 2009 11:53 PM GMT
    I think all guys stare, gay or straight. I doubt straight guys do it as much as gay guys haha, but I can't believe that if a straight guy sees another guy who he thinks is impressive (or possibly jealous of?) in 1 way or another, that he wouldn't stare. Lots of people love to compare themselves to others, men, women, gay, straight, whatever. So, to me it just makes sense that everybody does it.... though I could be completely wrong lol. But thats my .02 icon_smile.gif