"You're a clone"

  • DiverScience

    Posts: 1426

    Oct 27, 2007 2:11 AM GMT
    Ok, so this is a comment I never, ever, thought I'd receive in the course of my life.

    I was so floored, I had no idea how to respond besides a flabbergasted, "Whatthefuck?" Totally flummoxed.

    How do you respond to this sort of comment?

    I've been the nerd, the geek, the wierdo, for my entire life. The mere fact that I'm an academic makes me utterly terrifyingly freaky to large swaths of the gay population. Much less if they know the un-"masculine" things I do (crochet, sew, cook, can, pickle, garden, art, crafts), in which case they usually run screaming, "Freak!"

    I'm tempted to take it as an odd sort of compliment, that I've built a body attractive and built enough that people presume I must be an airhead (Because we all know those stereotypes are SOOOOoo accurate /sarcasm).

    As an amusing side note he told me to go put on A&F and tell my friends I really am Bi... which is funny. I don't own any A&F and I've never claimed I was Bi. I like being gay. Mmm manbutt. Heh. Oh well.

    I just had to post, it was so... surreal.
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13999

    Oct 27, 2007 2:15 AM GMT
    That's unfortunate. I think whoever said it to you was dealing with their own insecurities.
  • DiverScience

    Posts: 1426

    Oct 27, 2007 2:41 AM GMT
    Seemed convinced I was somehow unhappy with my life. How he decided that, I don't know.
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13999

    Oct 27, 2007 3:00 AM GMT
    Probably because he's unhappy with his. It's a shame people take a look at each other and just make a snap judgement.

    I'll admit, I have my own personal gripes with labeling. I personally don't care for the whole bear and twink labels people use, but if that's what you want to call yourself go ahead.

    I was changing my t-shirt at volleyball between matches and a guy saw my hairy chest and said "Oh, didn't realize you were a bear." I said, "I'm not, I'm just me". It got really annoying when he insisted I have to be a bear because I have a hairy chest. Like I have to be anything.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 27, 2007 3:50 AM GMT
    Wow. This dude sounds like he needs a good old-fashioned punch in the nose. Anyone who (from DiverScience's previous forum posts) crochets, owns a kilt, does some mean biochemistry, works out, models and owns a cowboy hat is probably about as unique as you will find.

    On the other hand, you should consider cloning yourself. The world be much better if there were more DiverSciences!

    An unrelated sidenote: I own loads of A&F. I wear it coz I'm trying to look more american :-) Timberoo is right. I love how people judge me based on how I look and the clothes I wear. If only they knew....
  • Partclman

    Posts: 20

    Oct 27, 2007 5:10 AM GMT
    heh, You don't really need to respond to a comment like that. It's a fairly uncreative attempt at an insult. Have you ever seen the Goths on South Park? They're always calling people conformists, though the hypocrisy is always lost on them... Same idea here, I'd reckon.
  • Laurence

    Posts: 942

    Oct 27, 2007 6:11 AM GMT
    Labelling is real lazy I think.

    He was probably just grasping for a term to describe you.

    I'd take it as a compliment (clones are viewed as masculine, better than being called a camp old queen I suppose)- Though we all know there's so much more to you.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 27, 2007 7:04 AM GMT
    That's not a word I'd use to describe you, DiverScience. Sounds to me like he's got personal issues with self-esteem/image and he's transposing them to you. Funny how people do that...

    I didn't know that you do all those other things (crochet, sew, cook, can, pickle, garden, art, crafts)... but I wouldn't call those "un-masculine" or "freakish"... I'd call them practical skills, and not just because I do that stuff too... except for the crochet part... never got the hang of that. icon_confused.gif Sounds to me like you're comfortable in your own skin, which is a rare quality these days.

    It never fails to amuse me the way people freak out when they find out I like working on cars ("But, you're gay... you're not supposed to know anything about cars!"), or that I enjoy reading research papers (I've always loved science and medicine fascinates me), or worked in construction at one point because I like it... and when they find out that I'm going back to school for my BA... at 45... I get "But... you're old! Why go back to school?" icon_rolleyes.gificon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 27, 2007 7:33 AM GMT
    DiverScienceHow do you respond to this sort of comment?

    You don't. The value in hearing the unexpected is seeing who we are.
  • Squarejaw

    Posts: 1035

    Oct 27, 2007 7:53 AM GMT
    just say, "ya think?" no matter what they say or how many times they say it, just keep responding with "ya think?" you'll frustrate the hell out of them.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 27, 2007 8:40 AM GMT
    Lots of gay folks, and non-gay folks, are majorly head-fucked. They congregate to The Internet.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 27, 2007 9:34 AM GMT
    diver, you look hot, especially in the red trunks, so fuck to the ill-informed comments.

    was capability brown unmasculine? is gordon ramsey unmasculine? i mean he's a complete wanker but i'm not sure you could say he is unmasculine?
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Oct 27, 2007 9:40 AM GMT
    Don't respond to it
    It's what this person wants
    He's obviously livin' in a deranged world
    ...let him stay there happily ever after
  • DiverScience

    Posts: 1426

    Oct 27, 2007 1:37 PM GMT

    Thanks guys. It's not like I was going to take it to heart, but it was so completely outside of my experience I couldn't help but be a little thrown.

    Next time I think I'll respond, "And then you found five dollars."

    Because there's nothing like a random non-sequiter for a comment like that.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 27, 2007 1:56 PM GMT
    I'm unclear whether the remark was in real life or cyberspace.

    The term "clone," which became popular in the '70s, was meant to describe a particular look, not be a comment on the general persona. It generally referred to the style of gym-going Castro boys in flannel shirts or tank tops, 501s and boots.

    But you know it seems to be an absolute compulsion to categorize gay men according to body type: muscle boy (probly the new "clone"), twink, bear, etc. I guess this is inevitable in a community whose identifying feature is its members sexual desire.

    But make the most of looking stupid. It opens lots of doors -- bedroom doors, anyway.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 27, 2007 2:03 PM GMT
    less of a clone more of a cliche in that cowboy hat piccy icon_rolleyes.gificon_lol.gif and damn sexy it is too

    Hardly think you are a clone tho to be honest just some idiot trying to pigeon hole you somewhere to enable his limited brain capacity to understand you.

    We all do it we just call it first impressions seldom are they right tho
  • iHavok

    Posts: 1477

    Oct 27, 2007 4:59 PM GMT
    I love labels.
    I ADORE them!

    There is NO easier way to let me know you aren't worth my time or energy than when you begin to throw those at me! :-)

    If someone is so shallow and empty they have to use generic terms to categorize people, they really don't need me complicating things for them.

    And personally I believe the only reason we don't NEED to know how to sew and can, and pickle and such, is because our society is the point where we can leave it to those people who don't mind doing them.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 27, 2007 5:06 PM GMT
    I want to be a clone........of the best a person can be in life. ... icon_biggrin.gif

    In today's world and, I guess, since the 19th century, it has been the fashion that one has to be "oneself" and an individual. That is fine to a point, but just any whim one has for oneself isn't necessarily admirable just cuz it occured to oneself.

    George Washington, in my humble opinion, gave us our successful revolution (as opposed to the French* and Russian...and probably every other one) because of his character. But he wasn't just how he was born and whatever whims he had. He copied as a teenager rules on the virtues of a gentleman. And then strove to grow into those virtues.

    We all know the stories of how the officers of the american revoluntary army want to overthrow the Congress; and how there were those who would have made George king. But it was these virtues that he had inculcated in himself that gave him his character to be able to dispose of the officers' plot and resist such offers.

    So if you are being accused of being a clone, look at that clone and decide if it one worthy of imitation. If it is, happy cloning! ... icon_biggrin.gif

    *I heard on a TV documentary that Napoleon said, "They wanted me to be another Washington."
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 27, 2007 5:07 PM GMT
    To be honest, when I first read this post, I had no idea what you were talking about.

    What was the context in which this statement was said? Who approached you and said that and how much does he know about your interests?

    "Clone" implies there's nothing unique about you. That's easy to say of anyone by looks alone (I always get chuckles around acquaintances when I get a chance to drop the "all Asians look alike anyway" line ... whoa almost an alliteration ...).

    Why would someone be uncomfortable that you identify as being gay and think based on whatever they know about you that you must be bi? I'm so confused ...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 27, 2007 5:15 PM GMT
    bfg1less of a clone more of a cliche in that cowboy hat piccy and damn sexy it is too

    IMO, not cliche ... I'd say classic (and of course damn sexy!). Well, maybe it depends on where you are in the world, but I don't see many people wearing cowboy hats these days. Cowboy hat covering the eyes is a common theme in American westerns, but that doesn't mean it's cliche. Again, I'm confused icon_cry.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 27, 2007 5:18 PM GMT
    try " all asians appear alike anyways' that would be an illiterationicon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 27, 2007 6:47 PM GMT
    diverscience, you have a great attitude about the comment. good for you dude!

    i LOL-ed at the non-sequiter response icon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 27, 2007 6:55 PM GMT
    You're a clone....said the cookie cutter to the cookie.

    That might be a response to leave the person wondering "what the hell" and show the value you give to his comment.

    What other retorts could be given, guys?
  • Alan95823

    Posts: 306

    Oct 27, 2007 6:57 PM GMT
    How about "Shhh! No one's supposed to know!"

    Or "Damn, they told me when I left the lab that it wouldn't show!"
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 27, 2007 7:02 PM GMT
    you can try, "With a MUCH better genetic sequence than yours"