Am I Homophobic?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 06, 2009 2:26 AM GMT
    A friend has something homophobic yelled at him on the street I won't repeat

    He calls you expecting sympathy which you want to express...

    but also want to impart on him that you don't think it's appropriate behavior and he deserves it 100% if he walks down the street in 2 inch denim shorts and a fish net tank top, silver high tops and make up screaming ....Heeeeeaaaay at straight guys
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    Apr 06, 2009 2:31 AM GMT

    That's not homophobic, that's a guy taunting straights and trying to stretch their envelope.
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    Apr 06, 2009 2:32 AM GMT
    You're not homophobic, but you don't sound like you're much help to him, either.
  • Webster666

    Posts: 9217

    Apr 06, 2009 2:34 AM GMT
    A) People should be able to dress anyway that suits them.

    B) People who go out in "unusual" dress, have to expect some sort of reaction from the viewing public. In fact, I suspect that a reaction is exactly what they desire. But, then, when they compound the situation by taunting the natives, well, all bets are off.
  • Webster666

    Posts: 9217

    Apr 06, 2009 2:36 AM GMT
    BTW, you're not homophobic. You're realistic, unlike your friend.
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    Apr 06, 2009 2:36 AM GMT
    No, you're not.

    He's a bear who got stung while trying to get honey out of a hive.

    You want to sympathize with the bear, but you feel the solution is obvious: stop trying to get honey out of hives. And you wonder why the bear hasn't figured this out yet...
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    Apr 06, 2009 2:45 AM GMT
    If he was literally screaming at the straight guys he brought it upon himself, and someone needs to tell him that acting like that's going to get him hurt. It's going to help him a lot more than helping him wallow in his own self pity.

    However if he was minding his own business, then the remark was unnecessary regardless of how he was dressed. I think it's still kind of baiting for negative attention.
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    Apr 06, 2009 3:12 AM GMT
    I steer clear of commenting on the way other people and in particular gay guys here on campus dress....

    I once responded to why i wouldn't wear a pair of jeans by saying skinny jeans looked effeminate I never heard the end of that one


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    Apr 06, 2009 3:19 AM GMT
    AMT87 saidI steer clear of commenting on the way other people and in particular gay guys here on campus dress....

    I once responded to why i wouldn't wear a pair of jeans by saying skinny jeans looked effeminate I never heard the end of that one





    you are quite feminine though...
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    Apr 06, 2009 3:28 AM GMT
    Fable said
    AMT87 saidI steer clear of commenting on the way other people and in particular gay guys here on campus dress....

    I once responded to why i wouldn't wear a pair of jeans by saying skinny jeans looked effeminate I never heard the end of that one





    you are quite feminine though...


    *Punches Theo in the Vagina*
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    Apr 06, 2009 3:43 AM GMT
    end. of. discussion.

    n197818645_42300600_8538.jpg
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 06, 2009 3:48 AM GMT
    Scribbling on a girls breasts with magic marker....Now that's gay icon_redface.gif

    Although I noticed it says

    Cock I <3 it! on my tee
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    Apr 06, 2009 3:52 AM GMT
    i was talking more about the pose.
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    Apr 06, 2009 4:40 AM GMT
    Fable saidi was talking more about the pose.


    Nice to meet you, Ben Dover.
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    Apr 06, 2009 5:13 AM GMT
    AMT87 saidI steer clear of commenting on the way other people and in particular gay guys here on campus dress....

    I once responded to why i wouldn't wear a pair of jeans by saying skinny jeans looked effeminate I never heard the end of that one




    WHAT? How are skinny jeans effeminate?????

    LOL!

    Ben Dover,

    No, you're not homophobic. However, did you just flat out say "you deserve it" or did you present it in a humorous way? One needs to say things like that with caution and remember that he has the right to dress however he wants and approach anyone he wants without the expectation of being mistreated. They didn't have the right to be rude to him either...even if he was interested. I'm sure they've been just as macho and direct with women when they're flirtatious or interested.

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    Apr 06, 2009 5:19 AM GMT
    i wouldn't say you're homophobic. i would say that your radical faerie friend needs to accept that going out dressed that way does requires one ball, but being prepared to contend with the responses his behavior evokes requires a second ball.

    yes, he has the right to go out dressed any way he wants, and yes he has the right to gender fuck the straight boys (who definitely need to know what it's like to be catcalled - they need to know how they're making women feel), and yes he needs to be strong enough to reflect hatred off his silver lame shirt and keep on swishing.

    although you don't have to "support" what he does, if you're his friend you should at least speak empathetically about why he shouldn't be surprised at people's responses. from there you might let him reason aloud about whether or not he wants to keep on as he is.
  • brianstephens

    Posts: 96

    Apr 06, 2009 5:26 AM GMT
    Haha, sometimes I wonder the same thing about myself.

    I always find myself feeling guilty after I roll my eyes at any overly flamboyant person that I cross paths with.

    I'm definitely not the most "straight-acting" gay guy that I know, but I'm most definitely not flaming.

    I think the reason I get a little bothered by it is because when people are overly flamboyant and obnoxious it gives people, straight guys especially, an even greater reason to laugh at and make fun of gay people.
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    Apr 06, 2009 5:31 AM GMT
    hey i walked down the street in the same get up

    no one said a word to me....
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    Apr 06, 2009 5:33 AM GMT
    i disagree with you, brian. i think that more gay men should be acting like gay men, rather than straight men. it's not enough to be out a little. the only way we've gotten as far as we have is because of visibility. we shouldn't be feeling comfy and going back in the closet just b/c gays can marry in a few states.

    i definitely do not think straight men have any justification to laugh at gay men in the first place, so i am not inclined to agree that flaming queens deserve to be taunted by straights (let alone eyerolled by other gays). although i don't find the o.p. to be homophobic, i do find you to be.
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    Apr 06, 2009 6:29 AM GMT
    dancerjack saidi disagree with you, brian. i think that more gay men should be acting like gay men, rather than straight men. it's not enough to be out a little. the only way we've gotten as far as we have is because of visibility. we shouldn't be feeling comfy and going back in the closet just b/c gays can marry in a few states.

    i definitely do not think straight men have any justification to laugh at gay men in the first place, so i am not inclined to agree that flaming queens deserve to be taunted by straights (let alone eyerolled by other gays). although i don't find the o.p. to be homophobic, i do find you to be.


    What's with all the acting...why can't everyone just act the normal way they feel as opposed to emulating any particular behavior
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    Apr 06, 2009 6:31 AM GMT
    Where can I get me a hot pair of daisy dukes?!?! icon_biggrin.gif

    But no, seriously, the only way you can go out in public like that and NOT get killed is if you're so beefy no one would dare try anything. I don't care if it's "a gay thing" because what it gets down to is whether or not it's largely accepted in society.

    Swishing your ass about, lisping, flapping your hands limply about, and asking "ZOMG, IS HE GAY?!?!" are NOT a good way to get positive attention.
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    Apr 06, 2009 6:37 AM GMT
    Yes you are, and shame on you for not defending him!
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    Apr 06, 2009 6:48 AM GMT
    AMT87 saidA friend has something homophobic yelled at him on the street I won't repeat

    He calls you expecting sympathy which you want to express...

    but also want to impart on him that you don't think it's appropriate behavior and he deserves it 100% if he walks down the street in 2 inch denim shorts and a fish net tank top, silver high tops and make up screaming ....Heeeeeaaaay at straight guys


    Well, it's completely logically to assume that drawing attention to yourself is a really stupid thing to do if you're in hostile territory, or it's bad timing.

    Many gay folks have zero sense of what's appropriate.

    You do him a huge service by reminding him to behave properly.

    Being outrageous, in whatever it is, is great comedy, but, at the end of the day, it doesn't endear you to folks. Behaving properly DOES.
  • Anto

    Posts: 2035

    Apr 06, 2009 6:57 AM GMT
    so i am not inclined to agree that flaming queens deserve to be taunted by straights (let alone eyerolled by other gays)

    I think anyone who is being crazy for attention will get it, both negative and positive. I don't think it has anything to do with being gay. It's too bad that many people think it does though.
  • brianstephens

    Posts: 96

    Apr 06, 2009 7:51 AM GMT
    dancerjack saidi am not inclined to agree that flaming queens deserve to be taunted by straights (let alone eyerolled by other gays). although i don't find the o.p. to be homophobic, i do find you to be.


    I never said that they deserved it.

    I don't believe that at all.

    And I don't believe that acting more like "straight guys" is beneficial or necessary.

    I do however believe that in order to get more than just a

    dancerjack saidfew states


    to allow gay marriage, and to respect gay rights, you have to make yourself appear worthy of that respect.

    Walking around

    AMT87 saidin 2 inch denim shorts and a fish net tank top, silver high tops and make up screaming ....Heeeeeaaaay at straight guys


    will not help gay rights issues to be taken more seriously. At the same time, it is is definitely not the most condemnable behavior imaginable, and I must admit that it does not deserve my eye rolls.

    icon_redface.gif

    For that, I am sorry.