POOR IMPRESSIONS: What are the turn offs when you first talk to someone online (or even in person?)

  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Apr 06, 2009 7:41 PM GMT
    We've had threads on RJ about profile "turn offs" and even a new RJ member who felt ignored.

    I'm curious about 2 things.. First, you contact someone on RJ (or another site) and that person answers and you have a conversation. What are the
    things that turn you off? What makes you decide, "that was nice, but thats it"....

    and what about those you meet in person? Your at a party and are introduced and you chat a bit. What are the "poor impressions" that you may receive there that leads to "non interest" in pursuing any sort of friendship (or anything else for that matter)?

    I thought about this a bit and for me its pretty easy (whether right or wrong).
    When I engage someone, I ask questions. I'm curious... for me if they
    just answer and talk about themselves.. but never really "engage".. its time to move on.

    You?
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    Apr 06, 2009 7:46 PM GMT
    Initially, anything that smacks of generality with no interest in / knowledge of (from profile) me.

    Then, short, terse replies that show no interest in developing a "conversation"



  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Apr 06, 2009 7:52 PM GMT
    I call it the non-conversation conversation

    When you're talking and they're talking and you're not UNDERSTANDING what the hell they're talking about

    Because he's ......
    drunk as hell
    stoned
    doesn't Know how to carry a conversation
    Has a one track mind

    *** Pick or add one
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 06, 2009 7:55 PM GMT
    When I get a message from someone.. "ur hawt. top or bottom?" Big turn off.

    In person, I agree with the engaging thing. I usually ask questions because I'm curious about the guy. But if he just answers my questions and doesn't have any questions for me, then it's time to move on. I know there are a lot of shy guys out there and it takes more effort to get these guys to talk. So I take that into consideration also.
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    Apr 06, 2009 7:55 PM GMT
    'Sup dudebro
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    Apr 06, 2009 8:05 PM GMT
    ZiMsTeR said'Sup dudebro


    i find that hot for some reason though...it tells you the guy might be really straight looking.

    religion might be a turn of for me...i met this guy who couldnt understand why I was atheist...and he made a big deal out of it.I dont ask anybody to stop their believes...I totally respect that. But I want my own point of view to be respected as well.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 06, 2009 8:08 PM GMT
    HndsmKansan saidWe've had threads on RJ about profile "turn offs" and even a new RJ member who felt ignored.

    I'm curious about 2 things.. First, you contact someone on RJ (or another site) and that person answers and you have a conversation. What are the
    things that turn you off? What makes you decide, "that was nice, but thats it"....

    and what about those you meet in person? Your at a party and are introduced and you chat a bit. What are the "poor impressions" that you may receive there that leads to "non interest" in pursuing any sort of friendship (or anything else for that matter)?

    I thought about this a bit and for me its pretty easy (whether right or wrong).
    When I engage someone, I ask questions. I'm curious... for me if they
    just answer and talk about themselves.. but never really "engage".. its time to move on.

    You?


    Meet in person - He's constantly looking elsewhere. Have difficulty maintaining eye contact

    On line- when in the first conversation it switches to sex and he wants to know or see my big cockicon_rolleyes.gif
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Apr 06, 2009 8:09 PM GMT
    charlitos said
    ZiMsTeR said'Sup dudebro


    i find that hot for some reason though...it tells you the guy might be really straight looking.




    How can a statement correlate with how someone looks??? LOL
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 06, 2009 8:16 PM GMT
    I agree with you HandsmKansan, about the non-conversation, for sure, otherwise, here on this site and others when on the net, when someone im's me and within the first few sentences is the question, "do you cam to cam" That does it for me right there.
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    Apr 06, 2009 8:37 PM GMT
    Racist, anti-semitic jokes or comments.
  • OptimusMatt

    Posts: 1124

    Apr 06, 2009 8:48 PM GMT
    Online - guys who message you, ask 1 question and then expect you to carry on the conversation...uh, you messaged ME. I give as much as I get.

    RL - well, if I'm meeting someone in person I can (and will) talk enough for both of us. Not 'can't get a word in edge-wise' kind of talking but more just...carrying the conversation. I find it less of a hassle blabbering on about whatever when I'm actually face to face with someone because I can pick up on their body language if they are actually interested in talking about something and then can sort of 'direct' the conversation there to make it less one-sided. But if the guy has no ability to communicate, or doesn't even really make the same effort at 'small-talk' that I'm making...well then he can just go fuck himself. icon_razz.gif
  • brianstephens

    Posts: 96

    Apr 06, 2009 8:49 PM GMT
    Its really annoying when people make the first move to talk to you, and then they end up not being talkative or outgoing at all.

    But they get upset if you don't continue a pointless conversation filled with "what's up"s and "lol"s.
  • swimbikerun

    Posts: 2835

    Apr 06, 2009 8:50 PM GMT
    One big red flag is someone who, shortly after meeting them, feel the need to start rattling off the list of people they don't like, trashing people I've never met or could care less about.
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    Apr 06, 2009 10:21 PM GMT
    General, clueless messages that make me wonder if the person has done anything more than look at the picture of my stomach. If my profile were empty then that´s to be expected, but if you can´t find a point of contact then why write?
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    Apr 06, 2009 10:26 PM GMT
    Aggressive requests/demands, inpolite, cocky attitude, and poor communication (1 word responses, have to ask all the questions, bad speller) - all major turn offs when interacting online. Thanks for asking. ; )
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 06, 2009 10:31 PM GMT
    When they ask for you to unlock your pix as a greeter
    When they ask if you are looking for some "fun"
    When they unlock their pix first before they bother holding a decent conversation.

    Bad manners in general and the lack of creativity.
    Bad attitudes and superior complexes.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 06, 2009 10:52 PM GMT
    On this website: Anyone who asks about what I do in the bedroom (I sleep) or in the shower (I wash myself), or anything to do with cock or arsehole. Also, showing impatience at my slow response.

    General Internet: Spam. Eg, "You have won X thousand pounds/dollars. Reply straightaway and claim!"

    In person & on the internet: Someone trying to sell me something or ask to donate. (For the record, I donate only to registered charities, eg Compassion. See my profile).
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    Apr 06, 2009 10:55 PM GMT
    Lostboy saidGeneral, clueless messages that make me wonder if the person has done anything more than look at the picture of my stomach. If my profile were empty then that´s to be expected, but if you can´t find a point of contact then why write?


    I agree with this. I put in my profile that I do not cam and keep getting asked if I cam.

    Other turn offs would be something like this:

    Him: Your hot.
    Me: Thanks.
    Him: Nice progress with the body.
    Me: Thanks.
    Him: Is it really you?
    Me: Yes.
    Him: Your hot.
    Me: Thanks.

    and so on and on until he stops.

    Also those that want me to call them and are insisted on it. I'm sure I'll have a great conversation with someone I hardly know that can't even keep my interest in an instant message. icon_rolleyes.gif

    When I am trying to write a post in the forums and they have to keep hitting the enter key sending the cursor to the IM window.

    As far as seeing someone in real life I can't stand when someone tries to build themselves up by talking about their job and crap like that. I don't care and even if we started dating or became friends I still wouldn't care. One time I was at a club and someone came up to me and just started talking about what they did for a living. He just kept rambling on about his job and then asked me what I do. So I looked him in the eye and simply told him I worked in a porn shop (which was true at the time). He looked shocked and then busted out laughing. In retrospect I guess he was nervous about coming up to me but a simple hello would have been better.
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    Apr 06, 2009 10:56 PM GMT
    the biggest turn-off....."I'm not racist, but black/Asian/latino'st (insert generalization)".....god i hate when that happens...It's just like what does it matter...and literally makes me want to leave the convo immediately.
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    Apr 06, 2009 11:16 PM GMT
    ZiMsTeR said'Sup dudebro


    Agreed. They're also the ones who have a purse drop out of their mouth when you finally do speak to them.

    Once you know my name (Billy) please use it.....don't call me Dude, Bro or Stud.

    Don't ask me what my sexual position is.

    Don't ask me to send you "pics".....

    Don't open your "private photos" for me, because I can promise you 100% of the time, I've never asked you to open them for me in the first place.

    Don't initiate a conversation with me and then expect me to keep it flowing.

    If you're going to talk about yourself, please talk about something besides your huge dick and how horny you are.

    Lets see....should I go on? Nah...you get the message.

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    Apr 06, 2009 11:19 PM GMT
    The "holier than thou" mentality is definite deal breaker. Lack of wit or tact when hitting on me. Someone in love with themselves is annoying as hell. Double standards for others, but cannot handle it when you do it to him. Immature in the ways that conflict with my own personality. Unable to accept the reality right in front of them. Narcissists and cruel assholes.
  • Webster666

    Posts: 9217

    Apr 06, 2009 11:20 PM GMT
    Turn-offs:
    "Can I be your friend ?"
    Anything sexual, rude, or vulgar.
    "hi" (and that's the complete message).
    "how r u"
    "What's up ?" (and that's the complete message)
    "How are you doing ?" (and that's the complete message)

    I am impressed by someone who has the ability (and cares to take the time) to send a friendly message that involves complete sentences, which start with a capital letter, contain proper punctuation, and have all the words spelled out, and spelled correctly.

    There.
    That should cut down on the number of messages in my in box.
    LOL.
  • Webster666

    Posts: 9217

    Apr 06, 2009 11:28 PM GMT
    ZiMsTeR said
    'Sup dudebro


    "i find that hot for some reason though...it tells you the guy might be really straight looking."
    ______________________________________________________________
    I never thought of that.
    This guy is straight looking.

    s6nmu1.jpg
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 07, 2009 12:09 AM GMT
    Arrogance, boasting, constant negativity, and no sense of humor.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 07, 2009 12:33 AM GMT
    People who talk too much about themselves and express no interest in me or, for that matter, anything else. It's all about them. That's boring. There has to be give and take.

    On-line: People who seem disengaged and who say very little.