The Age-Old Question....

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 06, 2009 7:59 PM GMT
    What are your thoughts on dating guys considerably older or younger than you? Is age really just a number or is there some arbitrary cut-off where a guy is, or should be, out of your range?
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    Apr 06, 2009 8:34 PM GMT
    Here we go again. icon_lol.gif

    For me it's about maturity and personality. I'm usually flexible about age because I've met a handful of mature guys younger than me, as well as a handful of immature guys older than me.

    If I had to choose an arbitrary date range, I'd say either 10 years older or younger than me. I find that anything beyond that, the generation gap kicks in and you run out of things to talk about. But there are exceptions of course. I've seen profiles on other sites where couples had a 15 ~ 20 year difference.
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    Apr 06, 2009 10:31 PM GMT
    lawguy920 saidWhat are your thoughts on dating guys considerably older or younger than you? Is age really just a number or is there some arbitrary cut-off where a guy is, or should be, out of your range?


    hmmmmm i fail to see how a 60 year old man who has properly matured can find someone who is 18 or in their 20s to form a lasting relationship.
    Seems to me that the olderster is pedophilic and is doing nothing more than preying on the youth's youth and innocence.

    let the flaming beginicon_razz.gificon_evil.gif
  • Rookz

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    Apr 06, 2009 10:36 PM GMT
    Or that the young guy was looking for a sugar daddy so he can afford all the drugs he needs to escape from reality.
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    Apr 06, 2009 10:39 PM GMT
    At my old age in gay years. My cut off is for younger guys. I know not very gay of me.......sure I may well meet the odd young thing who wants to be treated like a cheap peace of meat, hanging on a butchers hook. Give what they want then forget all about em.

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    Apr 06, 2009 10:39 PM GMT
    All about the person and what it is they seek from another, what they are comfortable with from that person and what they are willing to deal with.

    I try not to let age be a factor when I make decisions like this and it really boils down to what I want. I can easily overlook something like age as long as other things are present in the guy.

    Sounds shallow of me but its an honest answer. One that I'm sure many are familiar with.

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    Apr 06, 2009 10:42 PM GMT
    withHonor saidOr that the young guy was looking for a sugar daddy so he can afford all the drugs he needs to escape from reality.


    or the fact that some people try to live their lives outside of commonly imposed gay and societal morality clichés.

    people go through multiple relationships in their lifetimes (gays or straights) these days, and it is not uncommon to see 25 year olds with those that are 40, and not reading too much into it. if it ends, it's not the end of the world. but, finding love is what many people miss out on, because of the excessive emphasis on artificial barriers. living on the margins (although increasingly that is changing in some places also), makes gay people privileged to experiment with any kinds of relationships, which don't rely on what other people might think about them. so, my take on it is enjoy the ride while it lasts.
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    Apr 06, 2009 11:08 PM GMT
    The degree that it matters declines as we mature.
    10 years may be an unbridgeable gap to an 18 year old (those 8 year olds are impossible icon_smile.gif j/k)
    ...But no big deal to a guy of 40.

    The key is not to set an arbitrary range or limit.
  • zakariahzol

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    Apr 06, 2009 11:26 PM GMT
    No problem with me. I have been with guy younger and older with me. For love , for sex or just a friend.
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    Apr 06, 2009 11:29 PM GMT
    Lol. I plead the fifth. You guys aren't going to get me to self incriminate myself in this way again!
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    Apr 06, 2009 11:30 PM GMT
    This is easily just a maturity thing - i'd say it has nothing to do with age but that's lying... i'm attracted to older men much more than guys my age and my boyfriend is almost exactly 10 years older than me. The problem is i've always felt like "kids my age" are much too immature and it seemed so impossible to find anyone compatible AND willing to settle. I think for guys my age (espeically in my area) this age is a time of lots of self-revelation and learning just WHO we are as gay men. It also means time for lots of moving around and decision making that changes radically month to month, week to week, day to day.

    So, my first semi-serious relationship was with a man 20 years older than me! I was super happy with it though distance etc lead to it not working.

    now i'm a pretty serious relationship with a guy - 10 years older than i am - and neither of us feel even slightly uncomfortable. i think we're both happier than we've ever been with anyone else.

    So, i think age should NOT be a limiting factor but a factor that definitely comes into play. There are stretches (25 years plus... can that really work? i know of only one case (30 years!) ) but for the most part who cares? if you are compatible that's all that matters.
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    Apr 06, 2009 11:31 PM GMT
    carabin said
    withHonor saidOr that the young guy was looking for a sugar daddy so he can afford all the drugs he needs to escape from reality.


    or the fact that some people try to live their lives outside of commonly imposed gay and societal morality clichés.

    people go through multiple relationships in their lifetimes (gays or straights) these days, and it is not uncommon to see 25 year olds with those that are 40, and not reading too much into it. if it ends, it's not the end of the world. but, finding love is what many people miss out on, because of the excessive emphasis on artificial barriers. living on the margins (although increasingly that is changing in some places also), makes gay people privileged to experiment with any kinds of relationships, which don't rely on what other people might think about them. so, my take on it is enjoy the ride while it lasts.


    QFE
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    Apr 07, 2009 12:14 AM GMT
    Age is just a number. If attempting older, you'll find a number of guys that use their age and experience as leverage to control the relationship. If going for younger, you'll find neediness and immaturity at times. Yes, the stereotypes for each age group have plenty of justification, but there are great exceptions that should limit your restrictions on who you date. You'll never find Mr. Right if you don't shuffle through all the Mr. Wrong's.
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    Apr 07, 2009 12:36 AM GMT
    looknrnd saidAge is just a number. If attempting older, you'll find a number of guys that use their age and experience as leverage to control the relationship. If going for younger, you'll find neediness and immaturity at times. Yes, the stereotypes for each age group have plenty of justification, but there are great exceptions that should limit your restrictions on who you date. You'll never find Mr. Right if you don't shuffle through all the Mr. Wrong's.
    >>>>>>>>>>>> I think this is totally up to each individual, guys at both ends of the age spectrum like or cannot stomach their opposits in age. I'm amased at the number of young guys in their lower 20s who really like older men, not all by any stretch, but more than I would have thought. A lot of it depends on the younger guys maturity level whether or not it can work out dating an older man. I've dated younger guys but mostly my own age, or within 10 years, are though really is in the head though. unless of course your 90 standing on a banana peel with one foot and the other in a pine box. Ha !!
  • Delivis

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    Apr 07, 2009 7:44 PM GMT
    I would not date someone much younger or older than me. I want someone in about the same stage of life as i am.
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    Apr 07, 2009 8:19 PM GMT
    I have always preferred guys around my age. Of course life being what it is, I fell in love with a guy that was 10 years younger, but initially the age difference was a barrier. We knew each other for 15 months before going out on a date. Still happily partnered.
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    Apr 07, 2009 8:26 PM GMT
    I had a 10 year relationship with someone who was 25 years older than me. The only reason why it ended was because he passed away.


    We really hit it off and were well matched but we did not go looking for people in each other's age range. He typically dated men close to his age and I dated men closer to mine. IT just happened that we go to know each other, like each other, and a relationship bloomed.

    I can see how in most circumstances that kind of age difference might not work. Regardless of age it depends on each other's needs ,commonalities, and partner match.
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    Apr 07, 2009 8:40 PM GMT
    Delivis saidI would not date someone much younger or older than me. I want someone in about the same stage of life as i am.


    That's right. Though age is just a number. An 18 year old could be at the same maturity level as a 26 year old--however they are mostly likely at different stages in life and development.
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    Apr 07, 2009 8:45 PM GMT
    If you are looking for a good time then age probably doesn't matter but if you are looking for a ltr then for me the 10yr seems to work out ok. But as has been said in every post, it depends on the individual.
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    Apr 07, 2009 8:48 PM GMT
    Don't give your youth away to someone a lot older you won't get it back.
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    Apr 07, 2009 9:12 PM GMT
    redheadguy saidDon't give your youth away to someone a lot older you won't get it back.


    Why not. Youth is wasted on the young anyway.