Why wouldnt you want to be sexy?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 08, 2009 12:28 PM GMT
    Someone I know told me the other day that he didnt want to be sexy. Now this is coming from a very sexy hot man. He says he wants people to think hes nice and just a person like everyone else....wtf? I cant imagine someone NOT wanting to be attractive or sexy....have you ever run into someone like this?
  • OptimusMatt

    Posts: 1124

    Apr 08, 2009 12:42 PM GMT
    I suspect someone's gone fishing for compliments....
  • zakariahzol

    Posts: 2241

    Apr 08, 2009 1:07 PM GMT
    So I can have a lot of sex , of course.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 08, 2009 2:15 PM GMT
    Well, for me, I want to look good for me and yea, if other guys take a second look, that's cool. But I am not going to kill myself trying to lose weight or get a six or eight pack just so I can be gawked at. Just me. And FYI for those who might IM someone who they think is hot: After you say it the first time, no need to say it 5 or 10 other times. It gets tiresome and old very quickly, especially to the guys that aren't looking for a booty call, c2c or whatever. Yea, we all are guilty of objectifying each other. Just look at the hotlists here, but I can understand someone not wanting to be objectified. Some guys take it too far or can't take a hint when they tell someone is hot for a second time and the reply is "Yea. You said that already."
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    Apr 08, 2009 2:23 PM GMT
    Lol, I have about 2-3 guys on my hotlist, if that many! icon_lol.gif

    Swing and a miss!
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    Apr 08, 2009 2:46 PM GMT
    In the mirror everyday! While I've lost all the weight, I still have a lot of toning to do. When I receive attention about my body or appearance and hear that I look fit or sexy, etc...it makes me feel uncomfortable. I'm yet to figure out if the non-comfort is a self-esteem issue or just that I don't like to receive attention - more likely since I don't like gifts or positive feedback about my work, or anything else. Compliments just don't suit me and it sounds like your friend wants people to say something more substantive than he's sexy when he's talked about. So, I'd have to agree with him.
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    Apr 08, 2009 2:49 PM GMT
    RyanRebornG0y saidLol, I have about 2-3 guys on my hotlist, if that many! icon_lol.gif

    Swing and a miss!


    Umm...you have a hotlist. I didnt say a certain number on a hotlist. Reading is fundamental.

    And it's outta here!!!
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    Apr 08, 2009 2:50 PM GMT
    next time he says that jsut say its ok ur not really all that hot, but u r nice. see what he does
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    Apr 08, 2009 3:23 PM GMT
    There was a point in my life when I was very uncomfortable receiving compliments, even from a significant other. I was a hideous teenager. Bad teeth, bad skin, bad hair! GUH! Having a pretty face or a great body are not main priorities in my life. I have always placed more emphasis on intelligence and personality when it comes to both friends and boyfriends.

    I have learned that people are just trying to be nice, or sleep with me. I always am sure to be thankful and appreciate of the compliments I get now. I have also learned to take them with a grain of salt. I am the only one who can decide my happiness. I don't need some random person telling me x y or z to make my day!

    My only goal on the sexiness level is to make my man happy. When he is happy, I'm happy! He likes what he has, so I'm cool with that!
  • sarmorgh

    Posts: 36

    Apr 08, 2009 4:05 PM GMT
    I like to think I am a good looking guy, but every now and then I'll grow a mullet or a mustache neither of which look very flattering on me. Looking good all the time is great for some people, however every now and then I have to look ridiculous just to have some fun!
  • Rookz

    Posts: 947

    Apr 08, 2009 4:18 PM GMT
    I see a different perspective where guys who are good looking yet have a little weight on, that if they were to work out they'd be gorgeous! It's not my place to tell 'em that but I just want to grab the guy and let him know how gorgeous they are. Then again, if they're happy in their state of being then I it's best to leave people be.

    Ok! I have a little boy crush with my fellow Dungeons and Dragons gamer (yeah, you got a problem with D&D?) and his just handsome.
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    Apr 08, 2009 4:19 PM GMT
    Reminds me of an earlier thread where some guys with big appendages were saying they'd like to be known for something other than having a big dick. I can see if there's something that people are always commenting about, you'd like to get them to notice something else once in a while.
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    Apr 08, 2009 4:52 PM GMT
    I can't say that I've ever ran into someone who has said that they didn't want to be sexy or that they've felt like they were just a piece of meat.

    I know for me, that graduating high school at 200lbs was not fun. With diet and working out, I found the person that I've always known was inside of me. Yeah when I was heavier I would get the "you're cute" compliments, and it was nice...but now...I get the "f*%k you're hot," "you're sexy," and "hey handsome" more than ever and it's a great feeling.

    I couldn't imagine why someone wouldn't want to feel great about themselves and get the recognition from others.
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    Apr 08, 2009 4:58 PM GMT
    Gee, I feel the opposite. I've said before that if I hear one more guy tell me that "gee, I don't want to do anything because, well, you're a really nice guy and I don't want to ruin that part of our friendship", I'm going to puke. I was toying on whether to hand in my gay card or just start being an asshole. Jury is still out on that one! I like being nice but don't like that it over shadows my attempts to be sexy or intimate, wtf? I always thought guys wanted both, but now I'm doubting that is true! At least none that seem to want to initiate, maintain and build something more than a "nice" friendship with a "nice" guy!
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    Apr 08, 2009 8:29 PM GMT
    Honestly? For no reason. I've worked hard for my sex appeal, mentally and physically. I want to look sexy.....who wouldn't? And I admit I enjoy making the heads turn. If that makes me a superficial airhead, so be it. icon_twisted.gif
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    Apr 08, 2009 8:54 PM GMT
    muchmorethanmuscle said
    matt45710 saidReminds me of an earlier thread where some guys with big appendages were saying they'd like to be known for something other than having a big dick. I can see if there's something that people are always commenting about, you'd like to get them to notice something else once in a while.



    Are these the same guys that are on manhunt showing off their erect penis as their profile picture? icon_razz.gif




    Actually these are the guys that are never showing it off, as I remember.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 08, 2009 9:19 PM GMT

    Tell that bitch to swap lives with me. icon_mad.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 08, 2009 9:29 PM GMT
    maybe he's been judged and objectified so much thus far on his looks that he feels hurt by them- feels they get in the way of a meaningful relationship with someone. that's legitimate. though with the right guy, you'd think it'd be reasonable to wanna be as sexy as possible for his sake, to make him happy, knowing that that's not what he's after.

    i know a lot of people (engineers, mostly) who really don't care about looks though- i mean, they'd be attractive if they just got good haircuts, washed their faces, and wore nice clothes.... but they tell me they just don't really care. they're happy being frumpy and unnoticed. it probably boils down to an insecurity- not wanting to pamper themselves, or think highly of themselves, or attract attention of any kind. regardless of the cause, i don't try to change them- so long as they're happy. i just think its important for people to think about WHY some things make them happy over others. the same is true for those who obsess about their looks.... there's definitely a healthy middle-ground there.
  • Anto

    Posts: 2035

    Apr 08, 2009 10:04 PM GMT
    I can see how someone who is really attractive might not like it just because they get treated differently by people all the time for it or even badly! Wouldn't it kind of suck not knowing if people are genuinely interested in you as a person all the time or rewarding you just for being attractive instead of on the worth of your efforts?
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    Apr 08, 2009 10:21 PM GMT
    i think a lot of it has to do with who its coming from. if a guy that i perceive as hot, i would take it as a total compliment, say thanks and go on. however, i am a high school teacher, and when 13 and 14 year old girls make comments, no i do not want to be sexy. even if it is in their distorted teenage eyes. i want them to like me because i am a good teacher, not because they think (erroneously) that i am sexy. i have had some friends say that i am sexy because i am not/i don't try to be - i don't really comb my hair ever, when i go out it is shorts and flip flops and t-shirts, etc., and they think that is sexy. i guess like beauty, it is in the eye of the beholder.
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    Apr 09, 2009 11:34 AM GMT
    waxon saidnext time he says that jsut say its ok ur not really all that hot, but u r nice. see what he does


    lmao, I think I am actually gonna try that for real...thats good!
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    Apr 09, 2009 11:59 AM GMT
    muchmorethanmuscle said
    redbull saidSomeone I know told me the other day that he didnt want to be sexy. Now this is coming from a very sexy hot man. He says he wants people to think hes nice and just a person like everyone else....wtf? I cant imagine someone NOT wanting to be attractive or sexy....have you ever run into someone like this?




    Redbull, you are a profoundly sensitive and sharp individual. How could you not understand where your friend was coming from with that statement? icon_cool.gif


    Thanks for the compliment...I think...haha. I think I understand what he means. Its just hard for me to comprehend though. Its my understanding that as men we are attracted by sight first, so why wouldnt you want to be as sexy as possible?

    Actually my friend takes very good care of himself, says he wants to feel good about himself and I think he has to know hes attractive. People comment on his body and stare at his ass when we are out. I think his problem is the sexy part. I think he wants to be wanted more than just for sex or sexual attraction.

    He wants someone to want him for just friendship, his talents and abilities. Not just his looks or his nice, tight, hot, ass....ugh, sorry got side tracked, haha. Anyway....I guess I have a hard time comprehending this mentality when I have always been the "hes so nice" type. or being great boyfriend material or "you have such a good heart" ugh!!!!

    Dont get me wrong I have never had a problem going out and pickin up someone if the need arose, but for the most part I have always been the Mr. Nice guy.....

    it seems that we always really do want what we cant have eh? The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence for real.
  • MattyC0709

    Posts: 1199

    Apr 09, 2009 12:07 PM GMT
    Probably the guys who want him are all viewing him as a hot piece of ass. icon_confused.gif Not fair on him.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 11, 2009 3:09 AM GMT
    Your friend can be hot AND just like everybody else at the same. He has to learn how to handle what comes his way by showing other people more of his personality.

    People respond to a pretty face, but they are more interested in you if you yourself are interesting.........so show them something more than the physical.
  • DrobUA

    Posts: 1331

    Apr 11, 2009 4:17 AM GMT
    just tell him mission accomplished