This is the new typical Christian bullcrap that's out lately - get the blacks against us by saying that we are trying to compare our struggle to theirs; get the young religious nuts brainwashed that we are after their little kids and the same old song and dance. That's never going to end. Don't give them any press and they'll eventually shut up. They're looking for media exposure - nothing else.
I hate to get into this but I will...we are putting the cart way before the horse here. I want to see gay marriage legalized too. I got excited when I heard about Iowa and Vermont. I felt a surge of energy that finally this is happening. Then I was brought back down to earth when listening to a few of my gay acquaintances, who come from very different backgrounds, describing their relationships, or lack of ever finding one. And that hope that I had, reminded me of the last fifteen years of stories just like the ones I heard - let's get real here. We need to learn how to have sustainable relationships before we are able to get married. I know, the point is to have the option to get married - I get that. But what's the point of having that right to get married if one can not find anyone to marry? This will not be the magic wand that will suddenly enlighten gay men to accept one another and rid all of us of our pickiness and high expectations of a potential partner; it will not get rid of the pesky reminder of sexual incompatibility that the majority of us discover after meeting (no second date on that one - or even a follow up phone call saying 'sorry, but...). We have to develop some kind of communication skills that are above that of a 9th grade girl - until that happens, and it's going to take a LOT of work - there will be so few people benefitting from gay marriage that hardly anyone is going to show up to support it - because they know, they've been living it for the last two or three decades, that the relationships that are going on between men just don't make it that long (don't tell me about the ones that have lasted 40 years or so, I know of those too, but that is not the norm or even close).
I have spent a lot of time trying to figure out what makes our relationships fail after such a short time. Lack of trying? Loss of interest? Unprepared for the rough roads relationships will eventually face? I don't know. I just know what I've seen, and at this point in time, it's not enough to convince me that the majority of us are ready. We are basically prostituting ourselves online in profiles on so many sites implying that we look good enough to be loved, that we are starving for some kind of affection and attention, why isn't it happening, etc...we fail to realize that we are only a very small percentage of people in society and when that is all you have to choose from in terms of dating, it's going to be a long wait. You are going to have to compromise on some things. This is not something you can buy your way out of or design as if you're custom making something. Gay men are human beings with flaws and insecurities and sometimes horrendous baggage from childhood that for whatever reason other gay men seem to be the hardest critics of - again, that floors me. Are our experiences almost too close to home that it scares us to get too close to each other?
I've been waiting for years to find someone to fall in love with and hopefully someday benefit from these marriage gains we are making - but only because we are truly in love and want to spend our lives together (and understand what that means - and how much work it will take and how special that will be) - not 'do it because it's legal now'. And that's the feeling I am getting from a lot of guys...I fear that we are headed for a divorce rate of over 90% if that's the reason for getting married. We HAVE to evaluate our priorities, and what we are really looking for in another man and what being married would be like before anything else. Even though we are a very small percentage of society, all of us are a vocal group if we believe in something. The problem with gay marriage is that you've got a few people in the gay community who are very passionate about gay marriage, and a ton of people who have tried so hard to find someone and it never happened, and even talking about the possibility is too painful and they don't want to hear about it. In order for this to be an issue that the majority of the gay community really believes in, you have to get them talking, you have to care enough about them to listen to their stories and understand where they're coming from before you just shut them out and call them bitter. They didn't get that way by themselves.
In order for society to take our relationships and potential marriages seriously, WE have to do the same. Until that happens, the only places you are going to see gay marriage legal are in these dinky little states where nothing else happens.