the real question is are they really being the dominate one in the relationship??
its my experience that the apparent "dominate" one only appears that way, but its the more apparent "submissive" one who has the biggest say over how things happen.
ever watch a man and a wife, the wife isn't dominate (usually) but shes got just as big a say in everything, she just doesn't always feel a need to say anything..
a relationship built on respect of each other as people, as partners, as lovers, it doesn't matter, some may assume more apparently dominate roles, some more submissive roles, some more an apparent role of equality, but they don't matter, because a relationship built on respect for each other means that all things are taken into account and all views are considered before hand..
I've always felt that this dominate/submissive thing is too much, I'm generally a very strong, assertive and confident person and can be honestly, very over baring, stick me with a guy who I like though and I'll immediately start thinking of him too, I'll value his input if he pipes up with something, I'll ask questions, see how things are, want his opinion and so forth.. but I'm not a top or a botttom, I'm both.. but out of the bed I'm very dominating and pig headed..
dominate does not mean they are in charge and submissive does not mean they follow..