Conservative Parents

  • DrobUA

    Posts: 1331

    Apr 10, 2009 2:53 AM GMT
    I come from a religious, conservative, republican family. I am out to my siblings, my friends, and everyone EXCEPT my parents. Sex is NOT something you talk about in my family. How do you come out to conservative parents?

    PS. My dad just got out of the hospital from his second heart surgery and I don't want to kill him.
  • Webster666

    Posts: 9217

    Apr 10, 2009 3:07 AM GMT
    My father was a conservative Republican and my mother was a liberal Democrat. No wonder they never got along. LOL. I never felt the need to come out to anybody. They (and my siblings) all figured it out on their own, after I was out on my own.

    99% of the time, the parents already know...
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    Apr 10, 2009 3:14 AM GMT


    So, tell him you love him. Do it in a way (easy) where he can have a choice to take it in the degree he's fine with. Just tell him.


    I used to do this with Dad, when the spidey-sense told me something was up. No signal that others picked up on; so I can't explain it. I said those words in the middle of repairing a fence, changing light fixtures, or driving for lumber down the road. Said off-hand, it was a way I think he appreciated. I was so so thankful later that I'd done this, because he died at breakfast the morning when Bill and I were taking our new, well, used but like new truck to show him. Suddenly, just like that.

    Coming out can sometimes mean, with parents, just being and letting them see your life unfold over time. For any parent, it's a hurdle to overcome, as they want the best for their kids, and in my case, my parents believed being gay would be a world of unhappiness. Little did they know....!


    -Doug
  • DrobUA

    Posts: 1331

    Apr 10, 2009 3:36 AM GMT
    Webster666 saidMy father was a conservative Republican and my mother was a liberal Democrat. No wonder they never got along. LOL. I never felt the need to come out to anybody. They (and my siblings) all figured it out on their own, after I was out on my own.

    99% of the time, the parents already know...


    Trust me I'm in the 1%. I am positive my parents have no clue. They live in a dream world where they think most people still wait to have sex till they are married. Part of the problem is I'm not purebred gay. Which makes it look like a choice. Not sure what I'll end up doing in the future. Do I just wait it out and save them the heartache or nip it in the bud?
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    Apr 10, 2009 5:11 AM GMT
    I think you should just go on with your life and when asked about girls, just say "no, I like boys." Play it casual and be totally surprised if they're upset. If they have issue, just guilt 'em and EXPECT acceptance. If they don't accept you, good riddens...
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    Apr 10, 2009 5:23 AM GMT
    Parents always have some sort of clue. They may not want to see it. Give them the movie from lifetime.for the love of danny or something like that.

    ask your siblings if they know or what they think. I never told my parents. But I brought my bf on holidays and things. They always invite him. Plus I moved with his job 6 times so I think they know.

    I would wait on your dad. Your siblings is the way to go..
  • MichVBPlayer2...

    Posts: 132

    Apr 10, 2009 5:42 AM GMT
    My parents are the same way. I grew up in the same situation. You can always come out the same way I did, getting caught making out with a boy in the house. Granted its really shocking, but it saves the whole "breaking the ice" part of the coming out conversation.

    My parents still don't talk about me being gay. Then again, they still think my sister isn't having sex with her boyfriend since they went and flushed her birth control pills down the toilet. They still send money and read the newsletter for Exodus International (an ex gay movement). But even through all of that, it's not that bad. We've at least gotten to the point where they don't push their beliefs on the subject on me anymore and they didn't kick me out of the house. So there is hope even for crazy parents like ours.
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    Apr 10, 2009 6:04 AM GMT
    DrobUA saidPart of the problem is I'm not purebred gay. Which makes it look like a choice.
    Dohhh! Then choose to be Gay icon_lol.gif
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    Apr 10, 2009 6:04 AM GMT
    DrobUA saidPart of the problem is I'm not purebred gay. Which makes it look like a choice.

    So there's a face to "gay"?

    As for advice, you know your parents best, not us.
  • DrobUA

    Posts: 1331

    Apr 10, 2009 6:09 AM GMT
    jprichva said
    DrobUA saidDo I just wait it out and save them the heartache or nip it in the bud?

    Tell them, "Mom, Dad, I needed to let you know. I've contracted leprosy."

    Then, when they faint, revive them and say, "Kidding! I'm only gay."


    hahaha
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    Apr 10, 2009 6:11 AM GMT
    I'd say wait for them to ask. mine took it well, though. Wait at least until you're financially independent and can live off of your own hard work.
  • DrobUA

    Posts: 1331

    Apr 10, 2009 6:12 AM GMT
    Pinny said
    DrobUA saidPart of the problem is I'm not purebred gay. Which makes it look like a choice.

    So there's a face to "gay"?

    As for advice, you know your parents best, not us.


    Haha by purebred I mean I'm in the grey area between gay and bi. I'm more attracted to guys but I click better relationship wise with girls.
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    Apr 10, 2009 6:13 AM GMT
    RumbleStud saidI'd say wait for them to ask. mine took it well, though. Wait at least until you're financially independent and can live off of your own hard work.
    Now there's and Idea .. tell them that you need to go to one of those "gay away" clinics in West Hollywood and that you need a couple of 100k for it
  • MikemikeMike

    Posts: 6932

    Apr 10, 2009 6:15 AM GMT
    he beat me to it!! I was gonna saw tell them you and your 40 year old jewish girlfriend is pregnant so you are going to move overseas to live with her and her family....For work you have been doing porn.....icon_mad.gif

    Naa I'm just gay.icon_cool.gif

    Seriosly why tell your Dad if it's just gonna hurt him?? When the time is right you will know.
  • DrobUA

    Posts: 1331

    Apr 10, 2009 6:17 AM GMT
    RumbleStud saidI'd say wait for them to ask. mine took it well, though. Wait at least until you're financially independent and can live off of your own hard work.


    haha I've been financially independent since I was like 16. I was a somewhat rebellious kid so they stopped paying for everything. I like the idea about hitting them up for some anti-gay money. "Mom.. Dad I need 500k to go get cured.'
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    Apr 10, 2009 6:20 AM GMT
    DrobUA said
    RumbleStud saidI'd say wait for them to ask. mine took it well, though. Wait at least until you're financially independent and can live off of your own hard work.


    haha I've been financially independent since I was like 16. I was a somewhat rebellious kid so they stopped paying for everything. I like the idea about hitting them up for some anti-gay money. "Mom.. Dad I need 500k to go get cured.'
    Yup! thats what I said .. "pay away the gay"
  • DrobUA

    Posts: 1331

    Apr 10, 2009 6:22 AM GMT
    ActiveAndFit said
    DrobUA said
    RumbleStud saidI'd say wait for them to ask. mine took it well, though. Wait at least until you're financially independent and can live off of your own hard work.


    haha I've been financially independent since I was like 16. I was a somewhat rebellious kid so they stopped paying for everything. I like the idea about hitting them up for some anti-gay money. "Mom.. Dad I need 500k to go get cured.'
    Yup! thats what I said .. "pay away the gay"


    Haha I was flipping through the channels one night and there was this movie on HBO about this "Rehab center" that parents sent there gay children to. it was so weird. Does anyone know what movie I'm talking about?
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    Apr 10, 2009 6:34 AM GMT
    DrobUA said
    ActiveAndFit said
    DrobUA said
    RumbleStud saidI'd say wait for them to ask. mine took it well, though. Wait at least until you're financially independent and can live off of your own hard work.


    haha I've been financially independent since I was like 16. I was a somewhat rebellious kid so they stopped paying for everything. I like the idea about hitting them up for some anti-gay money. "Mom.. Dad I need 500k to go get cured.'
    Yup! thats what I said .. "pay away the gay"


    Haha I was flipping through the channels one night and there was this movie on HBO about this "Rehab center" that parents sent there gay children to. it was so weird. Does anyone know what movie I'm talking about?
    rehab from being gay? or rehab from drugs?

    http://www.hbo.com/docs/programs/rehab/synopsis.html??
  • DrobUA

    Posts: 1331

    Apr 10, 2009 6:47 AM GMT
    Rehab for being gay.. it wasn't really rehab but it had the same concept. They would force the lesbians to cook and clean while wearing dresses and stuff and they made the guys chop wood (no pun intended) and go hunting and stuff. It was so weird haha
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    Apr 10, 2009 6:48 AM GMT
    DrobUA saidRehab for being gay.. it wasn't really rehab but it had the same concept. They would force the lesbians to cook and clean while wearing dresses and stuff and they made the guys chop wood (no pun intended) and go hunting and stuff. It was so weird haha
    I need to open a rehab for lesbians .. the kitchen is a mess

    PS. I forgot to add I will go fishing while they clean icon_twisted.gif perfect!
  • DrobUA

    Posts: 1331

    Apr 10, 2009 6:50 AM GMT
    ActiveAndFit said
    DrobUA saidRehab for being gay.. it wasn't really rehab but it had the same concept. They would force the lesbians to cook and clean while wearing dresses and stuff and they made the guys chop wood (no pun intended) and go hunting and stuff. It was so weird haha
    I need to open a rehab for lesbians .. the kitchen is a mess


    hahaha I got the hair cut for it.
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    Apr 10, 2009 6:59 AM GMT
    DrobUA saidhahaha I got the hair cut for it.
    Yeah. You're a regula' John of Arc
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    Apr 10, 2009 9:05 AM GMT
    DrobUA saidI come from a religious, conservative, republican family. I am out to my siblings, my friends, and everyone EXCEPT my parents. Sex is NOT something you talk about in my family. How do you come out to conservative parents?

    PS. My dad just got out of the hospital from his second heart surgery and I don't want to kill him.


    Start dropping hints... have any classes with gay guys or lesbians? Talk about something they said. OR... lie... start some dialogue.... make them start to wonder.

    And start gathering info to educate them. The American Psychological Association and the American Psychiatric Association have excellent sources. Also go to PFLAG.... that may be a place for youto go to undertsnad their reaction.

    1. What religion are they? I think that is a very important part--kinda used it as a guide... see how flexible they are in new ideas, data, evidnec.

    2. What do they do for work?

    Research information about how scientists are on the verge of discovering the reason for being gay. (Debunk the myth that: Since gays can't reproduce to pass on their "gay gene," then it MUST be a choice.... NOT TRUE! Genetics 101 disproves that.) Also talk about civil rights... and how civil rights are different in America where religion has no place in government directly.

    You may not want to say all this stuff at once.

    Give them signs... lie or fake it if u have to.

    Be prepare for them to ask... or come out on ur own terms.
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    Apr 10, 2009 9:06 AM GMT
    ActiveAndFit said
    DrobUA saidRehab for being gay.. it wasn't really rehab but it had the same concept. They would force the lesbians to cook and clean while wearing dresses and stuff and they made the guys chop wood (no pun intended) and go hunting and stuff. It was so weird haha
    I need to open a rehab for lesbians .. the kitchen is a mess

    PS. I forgot to add I will go fishing while they clean icon_twisted.gif perfect!


    From my limited experience.... gay guys are cleaner than lesbians. My apartment is spotless... I actually like to clean lolicon_razz.gif
  • jon_6699

    Posts: 35

    Apr 10, 2009 9:26 AM GMT
    I'm kinda in the same boat exept I havn't told anyone, I should tell my best friend and shes a lesbian but I can't bring my self to do it. I've been stearing in the direction of telling my parents when I'm living on my own or financially independent. But lately I've been thinking about coming out every single day and just can't icon_sad.gif , i guess saying the first words of " I'm Gay" to someone is hard.