Another (new) 'fat ass' de-lurking

  • underbearboy

    Posts: 74

    Apr 11, 2009 9:07 PM GMT
    Ok, I just joined "Real Jock" today, and have enjoyed reading the posts in the Losing Weight forum. You guys are both honest and helpful, which is really great to see. I need some advice, and different 'weight-loss' sites seem to offer different suggestions.

    Other than what may look good to me, what should my ideal weight be?

    I'm 52. 5'10' Have a sedentary (sitting at computer-based) lifestyle. Walking frequently is the extent of my exercise at present, though I want to do more, when I lose some more weight (when I'm not so stomach-heavy), like cardio or bicycling. When I was younger (20's and 30's) I liked to wrestle, but got out of shape/overweight and stopped that, though I want to get back into it, since it is the only sport I've actually liked.

    At present, today, I'm 230lbs. I started dieting on February 1st, and have lost 15 pounds. Some sites seem to think I'm big-boned, but I think I have a regular bone structure. When the sites said I was 'obese' I took notice... but also always feeling tired and cranky helped make me see I needed a drastic change. While I was chunky as a teenager, I had lost a lot of weight in my 20's and looked great... but with a lover for 12 years we both gained weight. When he passed away from a form of heart disease, I gained more weight from 2001 till today (which I recognize as being partly depression-based. Just a bit of my history.

    Obviously I want to look and feel better, but I'm not sure what my ideal weight goal should be as it seems to range from 150 to 180ish pounds depending on what website I go to! LOL

    The latest site said that I should have a caloric intake of 1,640 - does that seem good to you? I've cut out sugared-, salted and fatty foods, junk food, red meats. I've upped my portions of green veggies, whole grain foods, and fruits, small portions of chicken and fish. Any other suggestions? Especially in light of being past the big 5-0 age?

    Any thoughts or advice would be gratefully accepted! Thanks in advance.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 11, 2009 10:33 PM GMT
    Welcome to the site. Well, welcome to it in non-lurker fashion icon_smile.gif

    First off, congrats on losing 15lbs. Losing that over 3 months is great. Slow and steady wins the race, from what I've seen.

    Secondly, I think your ideal weight is whatever you want it to be. If you want to be healthy, anything below 180lbs, for your height, is probably well within the land of 'healthy'. If you don't look good enough to yourself at that weight, then you probably need to lose more weight, or get a reality check to make sure that you're not too critical of your own looks icon_smile.gif

    In terms of the caloric intake, what have you been doing so far?
    That seems to have been working for you, so I would stick to that.
    From what you list, it seems like you've hit all of the best points and are picking up some pretty good habits. The only thing you didn't list that I would suggest is cutting out alcohol, if you drink. Especially beer.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 11, 2009 10:55 PM GMT
    Welcome! I think that you'll find a lot of great information here, as well as support.

    Congrats on your 15 lbs. loss. That's a great accomplishment in 2 months! I would say that you've got to combine the nutrition with the exercising. There are many different ways to do it, and you have to figure out what will work for you.

    As to your ideal weight, you are the only one that can judge that. I was just talking with my brother today, and he's trying to get down to 180, while I'm trying to get down to 150. We're almost the same height, but different builds. I would say that have a general goal that you can reach, and the adjust it as you get closer to it.

    Remember, it's a long term process for the rest of your life. Keep seeing what you could incorporate into your life, and move forward. I've gotten a lot of value by working on the workouts here (just finished the 12 week Muscle Building workouts today!), the nutrition programs, and the advice. Take it all in, and then figure out what will work for you.

    Good luck and keep participating here.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 11, 2009 11:50 PM GMT
    Congratulations on being successful with the suckiness that is losing weight!!

    I'd agree with the above two posters; it seems like you've already done the real thinking, you've identified a range of healthy weights for you to 'stop' within. One on hand, you don't want to have such little body fat that you look emaciated, or lack enough storage for your body's fuel if you are moderately to severely ill and cannot eat. On the other hand, you don't want too much fat that it affects your clothing, appearance, self-image, self-esteem. More importantly, you don't want too much fat to affect your cardiovascular health, as well as your flexibility, joint health, etc. And you've done that - you've picked a range where you aren't near either extreme. That's 90% of the decision.

    The other 10% of the decision is exactly where in that spectrum to stop, and like they've said, it's really up to what you're happy with. Maybe you've drempt of being slim, and want 150. Or maybe you want to be a healthy bear at 180. Either of those is a magnitude than your starting weight of 245. So stop where you're happy. Also, ask your doctor.

    As a raw calorie number, I'd say that's alright. Don't be afraid to increase your calories 200-300 if you have to, if you're doing 500-600 calories on cardio. The rule is not a strict number, but complying with a diet where you keep putting out more than you take in. Some days my calorie deficit is 400, some lucky days it's 800 or 1000.

    Ditto with U.N. on cutting out alcohol, if you drink. I just stop losing weight every time I drink. (And it makes me eat more too).
  • MSUBioNerd

    Posts: 1813

    Apr 12, 2009 12:22 AM GMT
    I'm with the others who say that your ideal weight is dependent on a lot of things; your bone structure is part of it, but so are your personal tastes. Rather than picking an ideal weight, you might prefer to pick some other measurements, like clothing sizes.

    If anything, your caloric intake seems a little low. But, if it's working for you, go with it. 15 pounds of weight loss in 2.5 months is a great start, just don't expect to maintain that rate; you lose a good amount of water with the glycogen at first, but after that you're hopefully moving over to fat loss, which is slower.

    Congrats. Keep it up.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 12, 2009 12:40 AM GMT

    Another "Fat Ass" delurking. This is great cause I LOVE FAT ASS.
    I think more "Fat Asses" should delurk. Seriously, delurk, I'm tired of playing hide and seek.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 12, 2009 12:43 AM GMT
    Stop asking for pictures of my ass >.< icon_evil.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 12, 2009 12:55 AM GMT

    There he is! See how he just popped out.
    Mmmm, and this new one does look naughty too.
    I'm ready for more now!
    As far as I'm concerned, the Real Jocks are the ones who can
    do what these courageous (scrumptious) individuals are doing.
    This is why I don't flirt with a sedentary lifestyle. I believe I have the will to stay off the couch,
    but not the will to get off if I ever allowed myself to get comfortable there.

  • underbearboy

    Posts: 74

    Apr 12, 2009 12:01 PM GMT
    Thanks for your input guys.

    To answer your questions:

    I haven't been keeping track of my caloric intake (bad I know), but it has taken me awhile to fully understand that it takes 'time' to learn how to properly lose weight - alot of information gathering. I think that I've been undereating as a result, and probably not getting enough good calories into my system. I will start keeping track of my intake this week though.

    I pretty much have stopped drinking since about a year ago, when I stopped doing the bars. On occasion I'll have a Mike's Hard Lemonade in the summer, or a little bit of Bailey's in the Winter. Of course when I go to my Landlord's for dinner (upstairs) they pull out all the wine (heavy drinkers from Lebanon! LOL). Since hitting 50, one drink makes me tired... and I don't really like the hung-over feeling with 1-2 drinks... def. don't hold liquor like I did in my 20's! I liked my vodka... beer never did anything for me.

    Yeah, for now my goal weight will be 180 and then I'll see what I look like at that point... a teeny-tiny belly would be a vast improvement. LOL

    I need to exercise, yup... I need to better track my eating, as I'm still too tired to exercise, but at least I don't feel my being tired is based on an overwhelming (to me) amount of weight my body is carrying around.

    I realize too, that I gained more weight from 2001 (not that I wasn't a bit chunky before that) when my partner passed away... and I was 'looking for reasons' to stay home and not do the bars... so eating is a (not) so good reason. So depression fueled eating, and of course, eating fueled more depression (not that I felt sad, as I told Ruggie, being depressed was like being under a big grey cloud for so long, you didn't realize it was there?) For some reason THIS year I snapped out of it, not sure why, God knows the months of grief therapy didn't seem to help one bit. It may have been the old guy at church who walked up to me and said, "Brian you're FAT... you need to diet!" LOL Leave it to old folks to get you to 'snap out of it!"

    I do feel that my self-image and self-esteem have improved... I sorta feel that my body should at least attempt to look as good, as the good person inside of me.

    Well, since I'm not hairy I'll never be a 'proper' bear (muscled or otherwise), so I might as well aim for the average goateed guy with a little stomach for now... and who feels healthy and can do the 'wild thing' in the bedroom without cramping, like I did in 2006! LOL Definitely feel my flexibility has been helped losing the 15 lbs to date. And I would like to get back into wrestling - in and outside - the bedroom.

    You're right... clothing size and personal appearance (as well as health and how I feel) probably are the best barometer to deciding where I should be at... I guess I was thinking that the number on the scale was 'easier' - not that anything about losing weight is particularly easy.

    I'm guessing that my weight loss will slow down... like another person on this site who will remain nameless, I lost a sizable amoutn of baggage the first week, and then went 2 weeks I think w/o losing anything... but I already knew that was going to happen, and so mentally prepared myself for it (by not weighing myself! LOL) Right now I have a regular scale... are digital more accurate? I understand the reasoning (i.e. water retention) of weighing yourself daily, but it drives me crazy... and so I do it only twice a week now.

    As far as 'fat asses' go, I think it the realization that one is taking control over one's life, and wanting to make positive changes, and so I can embrace that term (much like some have embraced the word 'queer'). I'm never going to have the body of the majority of gorgeous men on this site (my second life I'm coming back as the gym-toned, muscled Chelsea Boy... but w/o the drugs and attitude! LOL) I'm pleasantly surprised how nice everyone is here, how folks have responded with helpful comments to others... I like the 'no nonsense' approach of some of the sage 'bruisers' here... there is a place for sensitivity, but there is also one for 'speaking truth, and cutting out the bull')

    I hope that other guys will not feel intimidated by all the perfect bodies they see here, and will join this site, as folks are genuinely supportive 'of those who help themselves' -- as opposed to just finding 'support' or companionship at 'biggercity' or from a chaser.