A rough couple of weeks for hubby & me

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    Apr 11, 2009 10:34 PM GMT
    This little story isn't a play for sympathy, just the opposite. It's an example of how he & I take things in stride. In the last 10 days:

    - Hubby dented-up the new car I bought him in 2008. Not too bad, but the bloom is definitely off the rose. Thank gawd the airbags didn't deploy.

    - Every single interconnected shelf in our master bedroom walk-in closet collapsed all at once, woke us both up at 3 AM with a loud crash. He'd overloaded them with miscellaneous house crap, to make a better appearance when we entertained some guests a few days earlier. The walls were badly damaged, now repaired at a cost of over $1000.

    - The central air conditioner failed the day before that party, got it fixed just in time to cool the house as our guests arrived.

    - The water heater went out Good Friday morning. Couldn't get anyone to come fix it with the holiday, we'll be without hot water until Monday after Easter, or maybe Tuesday. We're taking hot showers at our neighbors until then, walking over with our towels & stuff like we're in a campground.

    - He was helping out at a community yard sale today (Sat). Someone stole his cell phone when he placed it on a table for a moment between calls and got distracted.

    - I caught pneumonia, but holding up, have had it before, always respond well to treatment, not slowing me down too much.

    - I had a minor heart incident earlier in the week, but the nitro tablets cleared it up and I avoided the ER. I do need to have my heart looked at again soon, though.

    - Also had an epileptic seizure, prolly from the stress, first one in months, will temporarily boost my meds for it.

    - Our cleaning lady became ill, has missed 2 Fridays, which of course is more serious for her than for us. Nevertheless, with a dirty house, no hot water, and me sick, our plans for Easter Sunday dinner with friends here had to be cancelled.

    And as each of these setbacks happens, we look at each other and actually laugh, and ask "What next?" He keeps saying these things always happen in threes, but I hate to tell him I think we're on our third set.

    But we're really not down or depressed, already making jokes at our own expense about it with friends. Still, I don't think this is one Easter we will soon forget, or want again. icon_razz.gif
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    Apr 11, 2009 11:09 PM GMT
    Wow. And I thought I had a crappy week. You win this time. icon_biggrin.gif

    A seizure and a heart incident are pretty scary. Glad to hear you're ok. icon_cool.gif
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    Apr 11, 2009 11:20 PM GMT
    xrichx saidWow. And I thought I had a crappy week. You win this time. icon_biggrin.gif
    A seizure and a heart incident are pretty scary. Glad to hear you're ok. icon_cool.gif

    Thanks, the seizures are just an annoyance, I've had them for years. Not the kind with the major muscle spasms, I just become disoriented or pass out for a while. But I'm supposed to report them to the docs, who in turn are required to suspend my driving privileges for 6 months, until I've reevaluated. icon_razz.gif

    The heart stuff concerns me more, a family history thing, and surgery isn't far away. But they tell me a heart attack isn't highly likely yet, though always possible. And so I confess to a bit of a panic reaction when I feel those chest pains hit.

    But my father carried nitro from his late 40s, and he lived to be 85. Likely longer if he had paid attention to his doctors. I didn't get nitro until my early 50s, so I figure I'll see 90, maybe more if I have the bypass stuff my father refused.

    Thank you again for your concern, and frankly I'm more concerned for my older partner, who doesn't handle stress as well as me. But having someone to look after is good for me, takes my mind off me, or otherwise I would obsess and become a total basket case. LOL!
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    Apr 12, 2009 1:28 AM GMT
    Red, Im so sorry to hear this run of bad luck. I s wondering why hadnt seen you on chat. Im hoping things do get better friend! I wish I was to hug you & C! Best, NJ
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    Apr 12, 2009 1:47 AM GMT
    NJDewd saidRed, Im so sorry to hear this run of bad luck. I s wondering why hadnt seen you on chat. Im hoping things do get better friend! I wish I was to hug you & C! Best, NJ

    You are too kind! You haven't seen me in chat because I didn't dare turn on my web cam. All our clothes and things from the big wrecked closet had to be piled in this office where my computer is, until the repairs were made.

    That was a background to my web cam I really didn't want anyone to see, and I just kinda like IMing with the cam on like I always do. The mess isn't totally cleaned up yet, as we figure how to arrange stuff in the newly redesigned closet. But I expect I'll be IMing again shortly. icon_biggrin.gif
  • ROYCE13

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    Apr 12, 2009 1:57 AM GMT
    Well GUy,

    I do hope the weekend and the upcoming weeks treat you better.

    Regards
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    Apr 12, 2009 2:03 AM GMT
    ROYCE13 saidWell GUy,

    I do hope the weekend and the upcoming weeks treat you better.

    Regards

    icon_biggrin.gif
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    Apr 12, 2009 2:10 AM GMT
    How silly of me! I forgot the biggest disaster of all, which I had mentioned in another previous post. Must be some kind of emotional avoidance thing that I had blocked it from my memory.

    The ongoing flood in Fargo, North Dakota destroyed everything I had in a large ground-level storage unit up there. Including my camper trailer, shown in my private pics, clothes, art work, furniture, my late partner's possessions, just countless items. Yeah, not a good couple of weeks.
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    Apr 12, 2009 2:18 AM GMT
    My kitties and I send you hugs and purrs.
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    Apr 12, 2009 4:12 AM GMT
    red_vespa.....

    Wow man... but damn you guys cant go through all that and still laught about it. Why? because you have one another to lean on. Partners in crime, when things like this happen, its nice to have each other.

    Sounds like a perfect relationship regardless of whats going on, good for you buddy.
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    Apr 12, 2009 4:39 AM GMT
    icon_eek.gif You need to consider a good luck charm
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    Apr 12, 2009 4:51 AM GMT
    owned.jpg
  • zakariahzol

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    Apr 12, 2009 7:49 AM GMT
    I get bitch at by my boss for forgetting to do one simple instruction and I feel horrible. But I guess, what I went thru is nothing comparison to those stuff happen to you.

    Hopefully , everything will be fine with you buddy.
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    Apr 12, 2009 7:57 AM GMT
    [quote][cite]Red_Vespa said[/cite]
    - I caught pneumonia, but holding up, have had it before, always respond well to treatment, not slowing me down too much.

    - I had a minor heart incident earlier in the week, but the nitro tablets cleared it up and I avoided the ER. I do need to have my heart looked at again soon, though.

    - Also had an epileptic seizure, prolly from the stress, first one in months, will temporarily boost my meds for it.


    Get thee to the doctor as soon as possible. I know you say you are alright, but these are not things to just kind of dismiss, ok? Get well and be well. icon_biggrin.gif
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    Apr 12, 2009 8:00 AM GMT
    i just love that through all the damn problems, you both still have each other to go throught it together..

    Thats so awesome, i wish i had someone to help me with my problems and let me help theres. That way, like you we can laugh about them later.
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    Apr 12, 2009 8:17 AM GMT
    [quote][cite]... we look at each other and actually laugh, and ask "What next?" He keeps saying these things always happen in threes, but I hate to tell him I think we're on our third set.

    But we're really not down or depressed, already making jokes at our own expense about it with friends...[/quote]

    icon_cool.gif: Good for you!!! Sometimes all you can do is laugh about things and get on with life... a very simple lesson everyone should have learned before they got out of Kindergarten, but one that some people never seem to learn...icon_lol.gif
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    Apr 12, 2009 12:56 PM GMT
    A combined reply to the thoughtful words above from several of you:

    You got exactly the message I wanted to convey. As with most of my anecdotal stories, they may INVOLVE me, but they're rarely all ABOUT me.

    What they are about is the lessons I've learned from them, that I offer to others for their consideration. The lessons from this recent string of bad luck were just as you stated: the importance of gay partnership for love & support when times are tough.

    Our homophobic enemies distort gay relationships into nothing more than perverted physical sex as they view it. Ya know, not a single long-term gay couple of my acquaintance even talks about their sex lives, much less flaunts them.

    What they do discuss & demonstrate is living together harmoniously, always helping each other, clearly expressing the greatest mutual love & affection for each other. Their lives are so beautifully intertwined that I would hardly know the one without the other, and in my mind I always see them as couples.

    Another lesson mentioned is positive attitude. But in this case my own reason for being that way is perhaps unique, and so I get no personal credit for it. It's due to my inbred contrary nature, that wants to zig when everyone else zags.

    If my partner gets depressed & upset, as he finally did yesterday over his cell phone theft on top of everything else, that automatically makes me not depressed and not upset. I have no choice in the matter, it just happens. I laugh, I joke, I try to cheer him up, I counter his quitting by taking charge, suspending the cell phone account for him, arranging to get a new phone, solving the problem. And then he snaps out of it.

    That weird trait was a great advantage to me in the Army, because when others were panicking all around me in a crisis, it merely made me cold as ice and as efficiently & logically focused as a fictional Vulcan. Unfortunately, in my own private crises when all by myself, I tend to run around and scream hysterically like a little girl. LOL!!!

    But yeah, thanks to whatever peculiar personality mix my partner & I might have, it works for us. I couldn't get by without him, and he says he couldn't get by without me. I kinda like it that way. icon_biggrin.gif
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    Apr 12, 2009 1:14 PM GMT
    Heh. Just keep on smiling, I say.
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    Apr 12, 2009 1:32 PM GMT


    Hey Red Vespa, this: "If my partner gets depressed & upset, as he finally did yesterday over his cell phone theft on top of everything else, that automatically makes me not depressed and not upset. I have no choice in the matter, it just happens. I laugh, I joke, I try to cheer him up, I counter his quitting by taking charge, suspending the cell phone account for him, arranging to get a new phone, solving the problem. And then he snaps out of it."


    ...is not a weird trait, and if it is, then we're weird, too.

    Hang in!


    (oh, and Happy Easter to you two!)


    -us two


  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Apr 12, 2009 1:45 PM GMT
    Wow Red, that is a pretty tough state of affairs... and glad you are hanging in there, despite being sick (make sure to take care of yourself)...

    It certainly says much that you can deal with these things in the way you have expressed them..... I'm getting the "look at whats happened and we can handle it without undue stress" discussion. No wonder you have a successful relationship. My kudos to you for dealing with this and just know we are all thinking of you.

    Best wishes for a Happy Easter!
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    Apr 12, 2009 2:24 PM GMT
    Wow Red -

    I love how you "swoop" in for your partner when he gets upset.Really moving.
    Lesson learned on this Easter Sunday. Thank you.
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    Apr 12, 2009 2:32 PM GMT
    meninlove said ...is not a weird trait, and if it is, then we're weird, too.

    Hang in!
    (oh, and Happy Easter to you two!)

    us two

    Happy Easter to you, as well, and to all here who celebrate it, and have extended their warm greetings to us.

    I'm glad it's not a weird trait, if true, because I think all couples should compliment each other. The essence of a relationship must be mutual love & support, a concept I had never fully comprehended until I met my first gay couples in my mid-40s. Not even something, I regret to say, I ever saw between my own late parents, or that I experienced in my own straight marriage.

    Ironic that I see in long-term gay relationships the very qualities that straight marriage proponents say are unique to them, while by comparison I've observed those same admirable qualities in straight marriages somewhat less frequently. No wonder I have never been happier in my life, despite these little setbacks and challenges.
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    Apr 12, 2009 2:34 PM GMT
    Red, sorry you had a run of struggles. When I was married, my ex and I were always sort of on the "opposite" sides of being up and down. I'm wondering if that's what makes good relationship stronger. My thoughts and prayers are with you and yours for strength and direction, comfort and continued love. We all know that in the over all road of life, these things end up being simply bumps we wonder how we manage to get over, but we do. Happy Easter and my best! Thinking of you.
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    Apr 12, 2009 3:01 PM GMT
    MattyR saidWow Red -

    I love how you "swoop" in for your partner when he gets upset.Really moving.
    Lesson learned on this Easter Sunday. Thank you.

    Thank you. But as I said, I earn no personal credit for it, because it is automatic, a weird reflexive action which is pre-programmed into me. And as meninlove wrote: "... then we're weird, too."

    This is what couples are supposed to do, without thinking, without drama, and certainly without getting praise. And this is part of my purpose in writing this, when I'm always reading RJ threads about break-ups, and deceitful lovers, and angst out the ass, and very little about how it's supposed to work.

    Not that we're anything very special, but isn't that the point, too? Guys, this is what most of us ALWAYS do, as meninlove tells us. This is why I am happier to be together than single, happier to be with a man than without one. Not for everyone, certainly, but not an impossible goal, either.
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    Apr 12, 2009 3:23 PM GMT
    theonslaught saidred_vespa.....

    Wow man... but damn you guys cant go through all that and still laught about it. Why? because you have one another to lean on. Partners in crime, when things like this happen, its nice to have each other.

    Sounds like a perfect relationship regardless of whats going on, good for you buddy.

    That's the "moral" of this story, as I try to explain above. But actually any one of our mishaps is quite minor, just the combination of them all at once that struck me as being a bit out of the ordinary.

    I do know some gay couples from Fargo, North Dakota, where I lived for some years, who lost whole houses, and who are still homeless as we write this thread. Those are real examples of hardship & misfortune, that totally eclipse our own.