The Alarming Rate of VGL, Athletic and Delishas REJECTS... what chance do we, the other mortals, have?!?!!!!

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    Apr 12, 2009 11:15 PM GMT

    Lately I've been noticing a sharp rise of "heartbroken" RJ members who, at a glance and upon closer inspection, are a catch. Of course, we don't really get to know how they really are in person. But WTF! If someone as genetically gorgeous are dumped, betrayed, left, etc... what are the rest of the mortals like yours truly (who btw is still nursing a wounded heart over his object of affection's marriage proposal to someone else who's also dhirty-fwhore living in Dubai)?!?!!! oKAY, this is not about me... icon_redface.gif

    But seriously... icon_neutral.gificon_sad.gificon_cry.gif

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    Apr 12, 2009 11:29 PM GMT
    Don't judge a book by it's cover. Just because a guy is "hot" looking, that doesn't necessarily mean he's normal. Or sane. icon_lol.gif
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    Apr 12, 2009 11:31 PM GMT
    xrichx saidDon't judge a book by it's cover.

    But where's the fun in that?!! icon_razz.gif
  • DrewT

    Posts: 1327

    Apr 13, 2009 1:55 AM GMT
    There is no hope for the rest of us. It's the only reason that seems plausible. icon_sad.gif

    Happens to me frequently, and I'm not even close to any of those three things. icon_cry.gif
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    Apr 13, 2009 2:03 AM GMT
    Beauties are rare; inner beauty is rarer, Mr. Beautiful. How can you read someone without opening the cover first?
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    Apr 13, 2009 2:35 AM GMT
    It seems too that it's either you have to have a six pack or a six-figure salary to be a catch or get a catch! I often see the Mr. Six Pack dating Mr. Six-Figure Salary, even if the latter is someone you wish didn't post in "The Guy Above You" threads.

    And it doesn't help to hang out with your straight mates who, in spite of the friendship, still manage to give you a boner without any effort from their part.

    I'd rather be rejected by a straightee than a gayee... or I'd die. icon_razz.gif
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    Apr 13, 2009 3:53 AM GMT
    Think it depends on your definition of a catch. Being good looking regardless of what sexual orientation you are is a status symbol, but it doesn't necessarily make you a catch. I think that the reason why some gay men have a hard time having relationships is they chase the outside factors and once they get to know the person under all of that superficial stuff the honeymoon often ends. Why? Because people who have so much going for them on the outside don't have too worry too much about the inside until they realize how lonely and empty surface connections are.

    My definition of a good catch is a fun personality, a good heart, honest, has integrity, and shares common interests. A physically, emotionally, and mentally healthy guy in other words.

    Looks, money, all that stuff are important to an extent. Like, be able to support yourself financially, and take care of yourself physically. Really at the end of the day, I don't care about what zip code you live in, what kind of car you drive, or what kind of clothing label you wear. The question is does it work for you and are you a content person? It says a lot about a person if they can just sit back and appreciate what they have in life. Whether it's a 1 bedroom apartment and a hyundai, or a 10 bedroom mansion and 12 lexuses and 3 yachts.

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    Apr 13, 2009 4:29 AM GMT
    Runninchlt saidMy definition of a good catch is a fun personality, a good heart, honest, has integrity, and shares common interests. A physically, emotionally, and mentally healthy guy in other words.

    Damn, I was almost all those until the last sentence. icon_redface.gif
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    Apr 13, 2009 6:30 AM GMT
    ZiMsTeR said
    Lately I've been noticing a sharp rise of "heartbroken" RJ members who, at a glance and upon closer inspection, are a catch. Of course, we don't really get to know how they really are in person. But WTF! If someone as genetically gorgeous are dumped, betrayed, left, etc... what are the rest of the mortals like yours truly (who btw is still nursing a wounded heart over his object of affection's marriage proposal to someone else who's also dhirty-fwhore living in Dubai)?!?!!! oKAY, this is not about me... icon_redface.gif

    But seriously... icon_neutral.gificon_sad.gificon_cry.gif




    Of course this is about you.HaHA

    In case you are wondering, wild and funny will get you MAJOR friend points, but at the end of the day only takes you so far beyond that. A line from Broken Hearts Club movie-"Not all of us can be perfect, Patrick. Some of us have to be average." Lotta truth in that.
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    Apr 13, 2009 6:38 AM GMT
    Zimmers ma sweet.. your definition of a catch is a little narrow..
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    Apr 13, 2009 7:20 AM GMT
    lilTanker saidZimmers ma sweet.. your definition of a catch is a little narrow..

    Either way it's a lot of hard work for this simple li'l gal... and my issue is not about getting rejected per se... it's the lack of the opportunity to get rejected!!! It's like you're not even gonna make it on board The Titanic at all... you know what I mean...
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    Apr 13, 2009 7:32 AM GMT
    Maybe Dubai has the problem...
  • junknemesis

    Posts: 682

    Apr 13, 2009 7:37 AM GMT
    I guess I'm pretty much romanticly doomed then? I'm not very good looking, and aparently guys arent attracted to someone like me. It's like they don't even want to get to know me. What is the turn off about being polite, respectful, kind and careing? Is it my inexperience with relationships? Kind of hard to come by when people wont give me the time of day. Is it the insecurity? News Flash... everyone I have EVER MET is insecure for the first couple of dates untill they get to know the other person and are comfortible around them!

    I just never get the chance...
    icon_cry.gif

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    Apr 13, 2009 8:23 AM GMT
    junknemesis said

    I guess I'm pretty much romanticly doomed then?

    Not in any way shape or form.

    I'm not very good looking, and aparently guys arent attracted to someone like me. It's like they don't even want to get to know me. What is the turn off about being polite, respectful, kind and careing?

    There absolutely isn't any turn off to that for most guys, but realistically, there are a few who can not deal with a guy who possesses these qualities. You are NOT what is wrong and you MUST stop believing there is something wrong with yourself.

    Is it my inexperience with relationships? Kind of hard to come by when people wont give me the time of day. Is it the insecurity? News Flash... everyone I have EVER MET is insecure for the first couple of dates untill they get to know the other person and are comfortible around them!

    You are exactly right. Even at 46, soon to be 47, if I were to have a date, the nuances of butterflies, on my best behavior still come to the forefront. That is natural and ok.

    I just never get the chance...

    I will say this: You are going to be kissing alot of frogs before you get to that computer genious of prince. Pay attention and enjoy this journey.

    I read your profile again and I have read alot of your posts and you strike me very much as the quintessential "Guy Next Door w/ tech smarts". And from the comments I read about your pics, well the comments say it all. Chin Up! That's an order. Not as bad as you think. icon_biggrin.gif

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    Apr 13, 2009 8:33 AM GMT
    junknemesis saidI guess I'm pretty much romanticly doomed then? I'm not very good looking, and aparently guys arent attracted to someone like me
    buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuullllllllllllllllllllllllshit

    I aint some freakin stud.. I don't get guys cause I"m hot, trust me, in photos online sure some people may find me attractive, but guys don't bother talking to me in person when I've been out, I've had to go after them my self..

    Ya know how I act on here.. how I just don't give a shit..

    I'm pretty much like that in person too, I don't get a guy cause i"m hot, I'm no minger, but I aint some model either, I get a guy cause I make'em laugh, hell I've gotten guys into tears and I've never met a guy who hasn't thought that was just hot in its self..

    I get guys cause I'm genuinely interested in them, I don't have lines, I make them laugh at me, them selfs, anything, I pay attention to the shit they say and I give compliments that are truthful.. I'm not flashy, I don't have money, I don't live a fantastic life style.. more guys go for that then you'll ever know sitting in a corner lamenting your romantic life

    nuffin good has ever just fallen into my lap..
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    Apr 13, 2009 9:31 AM GMT
    lilTanker said
    junknemesis saidI guess I'm pretty much romanticly doomed then? I'm not very good looking, and aparently guys arent attracted to someone like me
    buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuullllllllllllllllllllllllshit
    nuffin good has ever just fallen into my lap..


    Is this seat taken?
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    Apr 13, 2009 9:31 AM GMT
    Chaaxwvn saidIs this seat taken?
    nup, your welcome to use it icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 13, 2009 10:01 AM GMT
    No matter how hot a guy is, someone, somewhere is tired of putting up with his shit. The lustre surely fades, this I know.

    Lots of wise words here--it's about enjoying the view, but remembering it's about the journey. So, it's best to be with someone who is fun, loving, caring...all those things we know are really important.

    If you're chasing physical beauty in yourself and others, then you're simply grasping for clouds that will shift and eventually disappear.
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    Apr 13, 2009 10:10 AM GMT
    gymboyjae saidNo matter how hot a guy is, someone, somewhere is tired of putting up with his shit.


    *giggles*

    hot-reality-girl-soccer-demotivational-p
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 13, 2009 11:31 AM GMT
    hahaha - those posters make me so happy.

    2548515254_3cffb587fb.jpg


    haha - this one is especially true for this post.
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    Apr 13, 2009 11:40 AM GMT
    It seems we all have the same issue to some degree. For some it is easier and others more difficult. It takes some work but maybe the sooner we all accept ourselves and as Liltanker said not give a shit the easier it will be to meet people, have fun and eventually meet someone. It is a process.
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    Apr 13, 2009 12:49 PM GMT
    dmostwanted saidMaybe Dubai has the problem...

    As much as I'd love to take comfort in that, I realize that everywhere is the same, which is why I do enjoy myself here, no matter how repressive this place is --and I do push the envelope as far as I can, challenging the law and stuff (the thrill is spectacularly breath-taking)... and scaring the cowards away... apparently, I got more balls than what I give myself credit for... and so far, I haven't met a single gay person here who I could consider to be "the bigger man" than me.

    It's pathetic that sometimes I would go as far as asking for a hug or a cuddle? Like really, do I have to? Shouldn't that be given freely? A straight man would have no qualms about it, but a gay man? What an insult! If I initiate a hug with a gay man, they'd flinch like I've got a communicable disease.

    I'm not asking for sex, I just wanted to be held. That's all.

    And most of the time I'd get this from partnered men... who would usually want to take it further --behind their partner's back! I'd only do so if both consented and present!
    It's easy for others to say they don't give a shit 'cos they already have the attributes that make them initially attractive --tall, well-built, bedroom eyes (bedroom voice even!), etc. --yes, lilTanker --I'm referring to you, betch!

    I notice too that for me to get laid for sure, it'll have to be with a complete stranger, where I am given a chance to reset myself --less talking, less smiling, no humor --which is totally NOT me. No wonder fuckbuddies eventually become friends with me and I could forget about having sex with them ever. I guess I do not really have a very sexual personality --but I couldn't help but be the comic that I am, it's second nature to me.

    To paraphrase Cameron Diaz's line in "My Best Friend's Wedding": "I don't want to be put on a pedestal, I wanna be in someone's strong arms." And I have no plans of commiting the same mistake of getting into a relationship with guys who show genuine interest in me that are not exactly my type (but just 'cos they are interested, I jump the sack with them), it always ends ugly.

    I echo junknemesis' pain, "What is the turn off about being polite, respectful, kind and careing?" I could turn a one night stand into a complete spiritual experience. That's why they're always the best. For now. I'm not getting any younger and nothing's gonna impede me from having fun. But sometimes, you just wanna share that feeling with someone. It's sad to be dating yourself and the city --and in my case, Dubai. *LOL but no LOL*

    And I hope those who are in "monogamous relationship" won't be so quick to judge me or anyone else having random sex in the bathrooms with complete strangers, I am single anyway. I'm really throwing myself out there... and this is just a rare reminder to myself that after all the time that passed, hmm... where is he?

    And I don't ask that often, either.
  • zakariahzol

    Posts: 2241

    Apr 13, 2009 12:51 PM GMT
    I am a outdated , used and unwanted RJ then. I am no longer slim, I am graying, I am in forties, I am as tight with my money as Scrooge. I guess may be I stand aside while all you six pack, loaded, young and handsome guy have all the fun.

    Fuck no, I probably old but I have gain a lot of experience with men . I have immunise myself again the mistake of totally loving a men (you know the song " I always love you but my heart belong to me). I am very careful with any one making promises of love to me. I am use to reading character , if anyone showing interest with me due to sex, money or love. No broken heart for me. Rejection dont matter much to me. You reject me, I can alway find a better looking guy than you. There so many fish in the sea.
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    Apr 13, 2009 12:55 PM GMT
    ZiMsTeR saidIt's easy for others to say they don't give a shit 'cos they already have the attributes that make them initially attractive --tall, well-built, bedroom eyes (bedroom voice even!), etc. --yes, lilTanker --I'm referring to you, betch!

    Give me one guy who has gotten to know me in person and wants to go out on a date with me? ? ?

    Yeah you aint gonna find many.. lots who just wanna fuck me and put me as a notch in the head board, but rarely do any wanna go beyond that..

    Not that I"m complaining mind you, I don't want a relationship.. so its all good icon_smile.gif
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    Apr 13, 2009 12:57 PM GMT
    lilTanker said
    ZiMsTeR saidIt's easy for others to say they don't give a shit 'cos they already have the attributes that make them initially attractive --tall, well-built, bedroom eyes (bedroom voice even!), etc. --yes, lilTanker --I'm referring to you, betch!

    Give me one guy who has gotten to know me in person and wants to go out on a date with me? ? ?
    Yeah you aint gonna find many.. lots who just wanna fuck me and put me as a notch in the head board, but rarely do any wanna go beyond that..
    Not that I"m complaining mind you, I don't want a relationship.. so its all good icon_smile.gif


    See. You already got yourself sorted. It may no longer be a "problem" for you. At the least you have lots who just wanna fuck you... so reverting to the original queschun: "what chance do we, the other mortals, have?!?!!!!" icon_neutral.gificon_confused.gif