Openly gay at the workplace?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 15, 2009 9:25 AM GMT
    Are any of you guys open about your sexuality at the workplace? I've been told to keep the matter closed and be professional because i've heard cases where being openly gay might cause some tension and even discrimination depending on where you work. But there are many times where i'm put into a situation where a coworker would mention relationships and dating and i find myself speechless cuz i really don't know how to respond. Should i be open about it or should i just keep it professional? I work in a dentist's office btw so it's hard to tell if people are open-minded about it.
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    Apr 15, 2009 9:26 AM GMT
    gay, straight or bisexual, your sexual life is no one's business. Lets keep it professional.
  • Delivis

    Posts: 2332

    Apr 15, 2009 9:27 AM GMT
    I'm just as "openly gay" as anyone else would be "openly straight".
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Apr 15, 2009 9:54 AM GMT
    The answer to that question is in the definition .... the workplace is the Place where you Work
    It doesn't matter if you are gay str8 or anything in between
    Why should anyone care if you sleep with men or women at work?
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    Apr 15, 2009 2:55 PM GMT
    It's pretty much a given where I work - an Art Museum in a city where 60% of the residents are gay. In Palm Springs, we assume you're gay and are surprised if you're straight.
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    Apr 15, 2009 3:00 PM GMT
    yep all my co-workers know that I am gay just like I know that they are straight. BIG WHOOP! My being gay have nothing to do with the work product! Hence the reason for the raise and bonus that I just recently got!
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    Apr 15, 2009 3:02 PM GMT
    Unless you work at a gay bar, keep it professional. Just watch your use of pronouns and hand motions. I work with another one of the team and he can't figure this out.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 15, 2009 3:03 PM GMT
    no one's business who i screw. except for the person getting screwed of course.

    so no
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 15, 2009 3:05 PM GMT
    Many of my coworkers have met a couple of my bfs. It's not a big deal. I don't talk about any bedroom boomin' and neither do they. (I work in higher ed. An admittedly safer workplace than most in terms of job protection.)
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    Apr 15, 2009 3:09 PM GMT
    I am openly gay at my work place. My general idea is that, as an employee, I am there to make money for the company. If a company does not want to hire me because of my sexual preference, which I believe I have no control over, than I do not want to make them money.
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    Apr 15, 2009 3:11 PM GMT
    Just be mindful of what is acceptable in your office or company - and don't reveal more than you should. In some places you can do as you please - however in others, you could be gone in the morning if you aren't cautious.
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    Apr 15, 2009 3:13 PM GMT
    I love these comments about "who I screw"...icon_rolleyes.gif

    Funny, sometimes gay people actually have relationships. icon_lol.gif
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    Apr 15, 2009 3:16 PM GMT
    Just be professional my god it's brain surgery! Why do some people think just because we would be any less professional then our straight conter-parts the notion is lunatic to me. I have witness things and behavior from them that I would never engage in I was raised better than that!
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    Apr 15, 2009 3:35 PM GMT
    Delivis saidI'm just as "openly gay" as anyone else would be "openly straight".

    Well put. My partner works, and I volunteer, at an HIV/AIDS agency, where being gay is common, so we're fortunate. Although most of the senior management are straight, my partner keeps photos of us together all over his office, and some of the staff have been to our house for dinner.

    But we act there as you say, being no more and no less publicly affectionate than the straight employees are. Which is as it should be, since in our culture there are certain behaviors we don't expect to see in the workplace, regardless of sexual orientation. Luckily we work in one where behavorial equality is possible, but I know there are places where it is not.
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    Apr 15, 2009 3:41 PM GMT
    If you can, it's good to be openly gay in the workplace. Especially if you are senior management.

    I once had a boss who 'out of the blue' turned up to a works do with his boyfriend. It made me feel so much more comfortable.

    But we should be realistic here, if you are in a narrow minded environment, you cant' be expected to martyr yourself.
  • Rookz

    Posts: 947

    Apr 15, 2009 3:43 PM GMT
    Its a workplace, be professional and do your job. Your personal life should not intermingle with work for it'll get messy. For the end of the day, workplace only cares about productivity and your share, not you sharing about you being gay.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 15, 2009 3:44 PM GMT
    Everybody at work knows I am gay, I know they are straight, so its a fair trade off.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 15, 2009 3:49 PM GMT
    withhonorworkplace only cares about productivity and your share, not you sharing about you being gay.


    You should meet some of my old colleagues.

    gossip1.jpg
  • AF_Jock

    Posts: 17

    Apr 15, 2009 3:51 PM GMT
    icon_rolleyes.gifI'm not openly gay at work (government), but at the same time if someone asks me, without malicious intent, I'll answer honestly. At work, who I sleep with does not define me.icon_exclaim.gif
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    Apr 15, 2009 3:53 PM GMT
    Looknrnd saidI love these comments about "who I screw"...icon_rolleyes.gif

    Funny, sometimes gay people actually have relationships. icon_lol.gif


    don't gay people in relationships screw, fuck ,do the horizontal tango?
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    Apr 15, 2009 3:59 PM GMT
    Luckydog76 saidUnless you work at a gay bar, keep it professional. Just watch your use of pronouns and hand motions. I work with another one of the team and he can't figure this out.


    I think you mean keep it "straight."

    Not that I disagree.
  • 2iisofblue

    Posts: 8

    Apr 15, 2009 4:00 PM GMT
    Look to see what your employer's non-discrimination statement has to say about sexual orientation, etc. If it is not mentioned at all, then listen to the advice of others and just see what feels right to you. But if your employer says people won't be discriminated based on sexual orientation, then you can be a little more (or a lot) open.

    Most of my co-workers know and it is not a big deal. When I had a partner he was included in work activities where spouses were invited.

    Ultimately you know what your work culture/climate is and can best judge how open you can or want to be.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 15, 2009 4:01 PM GMT
    2iisofblue saidLook to see what your employer's non-discrimination statement has to say about sexual orientation, etc. If it is not mentioned at all, then listen to the advice of others and just see what feels right to you. But if your employer says people won't be discriminated based on sexual orientation, then you can be a little more (or a lot) open.

    Most of my co-workers know and it is not a big deal. When I had a partner he was included in work activities where spouses were invited.

    Ultimately you know what your work culture/climate is and can best judge how open you can or want to be.


    being in senior management - that's not always true. there are insidious ways of doing the discrimination
  • rnch

    Posts: 11524

    Apr 15, 2009 4:19 PM GMT
    my current bf's workplace is extremely gay freindly.

    at a recent post mardi gras work stress release party; he seemed to take great pleasure introducing me to his fellow EMT'S by putting his arm around my waist and saying to each and everyone of them "and this is my boyfriend rnch".

    i'm not sure who was more happy about that introduction, him or me. icon_biggrin.gif

    i passed the time trying to see which cute butch guy made my gaydar peg in my head. several did! icon_cool.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 15, 2009 4:21 PM GMT
    I am. And in a place as liberal as Oberlin College, it's almost unusual to NOT be gay!