I like him. He doesn't like me.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 17, 2009 1:43 AM GMT
    There's this guy, I have told him on several occasions that I like him. Whenever I tell him I like him he just says "Oh, okay ". He does know I am serious. The thing is that he doesn't have the same feelings for me. At one point in time he told me he did like me , but not anymore. Now he wants to be "Friends-with-benefits". The only reason I agree to it is because I see it as a chance to change his mind.

    I have tried so hard to get over him. It's really hard to because he was my first kiss and first guy I ever had feelings for.

    I really do feel there is a chance of us being together. I don't think I should have to try so hard though. Either somebody likes you back or they don't , am I right?

    What should I do?
  • yoheee

    Posts: 22

    Apr 17, 2009 2:15 AM GMT
    Ohhhhh brother, I have been down a similar path years ago so i feel you. Same situation, and then I didn't listen to my friends' advice, but i should have. They told me the chance has passed, so accept it and move on.

    Instead, I fought it.

    I put myself in a few situations over the next year that I was sure would make him change his mind and want to start a relationship, but it just turned out to be sex to him. I told him several times I was ready and willing, but he did the "oh ok" response you've received. And you know what? After a long time of putting my love life on unnecessary hold, he finally caved and said let's give it a shot. And it lasted all of 2-3 weeks. That's when he realized he was right all along and DIDN'T want me as a boyfriend, just as the friend i'd been before. That sent me into another long period of hangups, frustration, and lost sleep. So ridiculously counterproductive when I could have accepted it as a loss, and found a new guy to pursue. Or at least gotten over all the nonsense he put me through.

    Don't be the lunkhead I was, please? My former self begs you.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 17, 2009 2:20 AM GMT
    Tetsuo1 saidI really do feel there is a chance of us being together.
    No.. there isn't.. get over it and get on with life
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    Apr 17, 2009 2:22 AM GMT
    Oh honey. You can pine away for this fuckpiece or you can get out there and fall madly in love with someone whose mind doesn't need changing.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 17, 2009 2:43 AM GMT
    The "oh okay" and the suggestion to be friends with benefits tells me that you're not picking the winner. It's time to move on because having sex with someone will not make them develop feelings for you. However, it will send out the message that you're easy and convenient. Come on man, friend with benefit = late night booty call. You're way more than that, and you should have someone who treats you as such.

    Letting it go may be hard, but not as hard as being strung along like a sex puppet only to be shot down everytime you proposition him for a date or a relationship.

  • dannyboy1101

    Posts: 977

    Apr 17, 2009 3:20 AM GMT
    Remaining in the fuck buddy state will only make you hurt more. His feelings probably won't change, but yours might. You may get more and more hopeful with each additional event, building yourself higher and higher for a bigger let down. Fold. Going all in will only make you lose all your chips and will buy you plenty of baggage for future relationships.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 17, 2009 3:23 AM GMT
    walk away now before you get hurt...tried that a few times, when I was a newbie lol... doesnt work out... if they dont have feelings for u now, they just want a piece of u for sex...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 17, 2009 3:28 AM GMT
    Yeah I agree with everyone else. It probably hurts now...but you are only going to make it worst if you are waiting around for him to change his mind.

    I understand that hooking up with him is your only way of feeling connected to him...but how long will it be before that situation changes and you guys will just be friends without benefits?
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    Apr 17, 2009 3:34 AM GMT
    best thing is to meet sum1 else get ur mind off of him, it sux and it hurts but think about it do u really wanna push something with sum1 u really like that doesnt really like u...

    not worth it
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 17, 2009 3:37 AM GMT
    pine a bit, but move on with your life.

    he's just not into you.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 17, 2009 4:58 AM GMT
    0 x 1 = 0. Either stay and get used for sex and be constantly frustrated or leave. Accept, acknowledge, move on.
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    Apr 17, 2009 5:03 AM GMT
    um wait you guys are banging

    Um if he doesnt want you like you him, chances are its because he doesnt want a relationship. Either that or doesnt see you as relationship material.

    sorry to say it but you may just be a fuck to him.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 17, 2009 5:12 AM GMT
    Glenn Close, is that you?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 17, 2009 5:41 AM GMT
    Tetsuo1 said
    What should I do?


    RUN! NOW! Just move on to somebody else, ANYBODY else, before he wastes more of your life. It's not worth your time. He wants sex and that's all. Don't fool yourself, and after a couple guys you'll eventually just have him as a passing memory between guys.
  • MikemikeMike

    Posts: 6932

    Apr 17, 2009 6:18 AM GMT
    theonslaught saidum wait you guys are banging

    Um if he doesnt want you like you him, chances are its because he doesnt want a relationship. Either that or doesnt see you as relationship material.

    sorry to say it but you may just be a fuck to him.


    agreed
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    Apr 17, 2009 6:53 AM GMT
    WolfRain saidI understand that hooking up with him is your only way of feeling connected to him...but how long will it be before that situation changes and you guys will just be friends without benefits?

    I'd rather wait for that to happen. Hopefully by that time, you're already bored with his skills and you can move on fulfilled. icon_biggrin.gif
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    Apr 17, 2009 7:08 AM GMT
    Also I think there's a trend about guys not reciprocating if they see the other guy obviously liking them.

    Something about it not being a challenge. Bah. icon_razz.gif
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Apr 17, 2009 10:36 PM GMT
    So tell me .... you go in your room at night and do some cutting Too? icon_confused.gif

    What are you doin' guy?
    This dude has under no uncertain terms told you that he is not interested
    MOVE ON
    Being his fuckbuddy is just you saying "YES SIR... I'LL HAVE SOME MORE!"

  • EricLA

    Posts: 3461

    Apr 17, 2009 10:57 PM GMT
    This sort of thing happened to me when I came out at 23. And I agree, you are better off finding someone else who feels about you the way you feel about him. Trying to convince this guy to fall for you is almost certainly going to be a waste of your time, and much, much worse a big blow to your heart and self-esteem. You'll be confused that he can be with you physically but not emotionally. You'll have superficial fun, but just wait till you see him with other people.

    Let your brain guide you on this one. What you're feeling for this guy is not love, it's infatuation. You deserve for your affection to be reciprocated. It's tough to be patient at 19, but trust me, you'll know the difference when someone loves you as you love them.
  • baldone

    Posts: 826

    Apr 17, 2009 11:12 PM GMT
    i am so going through the same thing right now....met this guy...been out couple times and i have fallen madly in love with him....he keeps telling me he only can be friends right now....possibly for a long time...he was in a extremely abusive relationship that lasted 2 years, but i keep hoping, staying in touch with him and trying to make him smile again and feel better, but me thinks that i should accept his friendship and move on to find someone that does not have issues and can love in return....just freekin kills me cause i have really fallen hard for him
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 17, 2009 11:58 PM GMT
    5537B00B saidGlenn Close, is that you?



    LMFAO very few times I laugh aloud while surfin the net. thanks for that
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 18, 2009 12:12 AM GMT
    enjoy the sex for what its worth but don't look much deeper into it....he's keeping you around for a good time and not much more. I say move on.... if you want something serious you should look elsewhere and find someone who deserves you.
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    Apr 18, 2009 12:31 AM GMT
    baldone saidi am so going through the same thing right now....met this guy...been out couple times and i have fallen madly in love with him....he keeps telling me he only can be friends right now....possibly for a long time...he was in a extremely abusive relationship that lasted 2 years, but i keep hoping, staying in touch with him and trying to make him smile again and feel better, but me thinks that i should accept his friendship and move on to find someone that does not have issues and can love in return....just freekin kills me cause i have really fallen hard for him


    wow - i envy you the ability to fall in love that quickly.
  • barriehomeboy

    Posts: 2475

    Apr 18, 2009 12:43 AM GMT
    The path to happiness is to be chased, not to do the chase. He isn't playing hard to get. He's just not available to get. Focus on you and being the sexiest most gorgeous stud you can be. He'll be in the lineup waiting at your door after you do that, then you win.
  • DrobUA

    Posts: 1331

    Apr 18, 2009 6:09 AM GMT
    Sedative saidAlso I think there's a trend about guys not reciprocating if they see the other guy obviously liking them.

    Something about it not being a challenge. Bah. icon_razz.gif


    This is true. The best way to get a guys attention is not to give him attention.