Royalchaos2 saidYou know, I never thought the stigma of "bottom = fem/less of a man, etc." existed in the gay community. I always only thought that was a misguided straight attitude. You learn something new everyday...
Not every gay thinks in terms of masculine vs fem regarding being a top vs a bottom. And even if some did, the issue of a "stigma" could be argued as being a different matter. We've had some spirited RJ debates about whether being a more feminine gay man should be considered a negative at all.
Being a gay top implies the traditional role of the straight male as the penetrator, whereas the gay bottom's role is similar to the straight female function of being penetrated. These 2 different roles have always been associated with gender identity in the straight world (it's even the symbolic basis of the international icons for male & female, the circles with an arrow and with a cross), so it's not surprising some of that attitude would occur in the gay world, too.
But many of us have experienced enough exceptions to that "rule" to suggest it may not be a rule that actually applies to gays at all. We know there are masculine bottoms and less butch tops. I'm versatile, and I don't feel like my masculinity is changing as I perform one act and then the other, very often during the same sexual encounter.
To me it's merely a matter of which gives the man the greater pleasure, and of which is he most functionally capable. In my case a bad prostate makes bottoming less enjoyable, or otherwise I'm sure I'd like to do it more often. I know some guys who get insufficient sensory stimulation from topping to make that enjoyable for them, so they bottom and do oral.
Of course an argument could be made that sexual pleasure itself has a psychological component, essentially meaning you like what you WANT to like; it's not all physical. But even conceding that, knowing men and myself as I think I do, it still seems the greater incentive is the purely physical, even if colored by the mental.
A gay man goes where his dick tells him to go, whether that's inside a mouth, or in a fist, or up an ass, or all 3. And if he gets additional pleasure being on the receiving end of a dick, he'll do that, too.