physical space at bars?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 18, 2009 9:47 PM GMT
    so, what is the appropriate way to deal with people who invade your personal space at bars when it is not welcome?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 18, 2009 9:55 PM GMT
    Tease them. Egg em on, but never let them have it ;)
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    Apr 18, 2009 10:09 PM GMT
    Hmmm, lots of garlic and onions before you go out?
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    Apr 18, 2009 10:09 PM GMT
    grab their junk
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    Apr 18, 2009 10:14 PM GMT
    Alpha13 saidgrab their junk

    Wait...R we discouraging or encouraging the attention?
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    Apr 18, 2009 10:16 PM GMT
    definitely hit em. ;)
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    Apr 18, 2009 10:19 PM GMT
    Encouraging: Make them buy you a drink.

    Discouraging: Roll eyes and shake head disapprovingly. Frown and wave finger in their face...

    heh icon_smile.gif

    You know, if the place isn't crowded, and someone wants to say hi, you can be polite no matter what. Thank them for their interest but explain that you're interested in someone or something else. Word it anyway you want. I am usually with friends and tend not to go out on the prowl... so if I ain't looking, it rarely comes looking for me, so to speak (that is... I look too busy with someone else so that tends to keep the guys away icon_smile.gif






    what is he thinking - why would he want to do that? j/k
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    Apr 18, 2009 10:30 PM GMT

    Act all feminine, loud and queenybitchy. That'll scare them off. icon_idea.gif
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    Apr 18, 2009 10:40 PM GMT
    stringman saiddefinitely hit em. ;)


    ...I like his idea icon_twisted.gif
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    Apr 18, 2009 10:42 PM GMT
    This may qualify as invading personal space...

    heh icon_smile.gif


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    Apr 18, 2009 11:07 PM GMT
    It depends on the person; are they a good friend, a random drunk pest, etc. But I usually just put my hand on their chest and gently push them back a little, and say something like, "I hear ya". Basically, communicating, 'I hear you, you don't need to stand so close'.
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    Apr 18, 2009 11:10 PM GMT
    Well, you're taking up too much space then Dark, stop being so FAT!
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    Apr 18, 2009 11:11 PM GMT
    Take their hands out of my pants.
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    Apr 19, 2009 1:07 AM GMT
    Over the music yell "You Bitch!" then slap them, throw your drink in their face, then turn to the hot bartender and order another.
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    Apr 19, 2009 1:47 AM GMT
    This thread is getting pretty funny. On a slightly more serious note, there are some cultures (certain Middle Eastern cultures, for example) where it's normal to crowd close to the person you are speaking with. It's a matter of the culture you were raised in. In parts of Africa, men regularly hold hands even though they're not Gay; it's called "the taking of hands" and is a sign of friendship and trust between two people, and not sexual.

    On the other hand, many people of Northern European (and American) heritage are much more aware of the idea of "personal space" being at least three feet around them, and tend to get very uptight if that space is invaded without invitation. I know I do.
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    Apr 19, 2009 2:04 AM GMT
    zeebyaboi said

    ....On the other hand, many people of Northern European (and American) heritage are much more aware of the idea of "personal space" being at least three feet around them, and tend to get very uptight if that space is invaded without invitation. I know I do.


    I had a thought that this might be due to our more wide open spaces in a historical sense, especially west of our eastern States, and a preponderance that initial greetings, such as a handshake, are often at arms length (hence the 2-3 feet of personal space).

    Although I live in SF, I cringe every time I walk by a restaurant where every chair is six inches apart. I come from a small town, with a "wider" and slower view of life... so go figure icon_smile.gif

    In a bar, gay, str8... if it's packed, there is no such thing as personal space. You have body contact 360. I think one would have to take that in stride. In which case, personal space suddenly becomes where the hands might go icon_eek.gif heh icon_smile.gif
  • Aquanerd

    Posts: 845

    Apr 19, 2009 2:09 AM GMT
    Since no self respecting Realjock member would be caught dead in anywhere other than the hottest bar in town, wouldn't it be difficult not to have your space invaded the entire time one was there?
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    Apr 19, 2009 2:09 AM GMT
    During the Gay Games/Stonewall 25 festival in NYC, I had to take the subway up from Tribeca to Yankee Stadium to cover the Closing Cermonies. The subway was, literally, PACKED. They had to keep the doors to the cars open longer to allow everyone to get on and off. Anyway, there was ABSOLUTELY NO personal space. And, as much as I like my space, I must say it was great fun to be anonymously groped by numerous people at once. Yes, it really did happen! I even copped a feel or two myself, which is about all the action I saw that week. So sometimes, it can be fun to be crowded. You just hafta keep your wits about you to make sure nobody tries to light-finger anything out of your pockets.
  • kew1

    Posts: 1595

    Apr 19, 2009 8:26 AM GMT
    zeebyaboi said In parts of Africa, men regularly hold hands even though they're not Gay; it's called "the taking of hands" and is a sign of friendship and trust between two people, and not sexual.

    .


    That happened to me going round a township in South Africa. A friend of the man showing us round joined us & held my hand as we walked, it was a bit disconcerting icon_smile.gif
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Apr 19, 2009 11:57 AM GMT
    Turn to your friend and in a loud voice say
    It's so annoying the way some people come so close to you in this bar isn't it? icon_neutral.gif
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    Apr 19, 2009 12:10 PM GMT
    I'll take fart for 100 , Alex

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    Apr 19, 2009 1:56 PM GMT
    10-step method for regaining personal bar space from the unwelcome interloper:

    1. Cough loudly without covering mouth.

    2. Take out cell phone, pretend to make a call.

    3. Cough loudly again.

    4. Act out a phone conversation: "Yeah, hi, I'm at [name of bar]. No, I couldn't stay at home any more, being sick for a week got boring."

    5. Cough loudly again.

    6. "No, the doctor says I'm still highly contagious, but I figured once the sweats and vomiting had stopped it was OK to go out again. Just still got this damn cough."

    7. Cue even louder cough.

    8. "Yeah, OK, I can understand how you'd not wanna see me yet and catch this thing. Well gotta go, still kinda hard for me to talk like this. Bye."

    9. Hack non-stop for 30 seconds.

    10. Ask bartender to remove the unfinished drink of the suddenly departed guy who'd been sitting next to you, so another nicer guy walking in might consider coming over.