Unleash thy inner bard on 'Talk Like Shakespeare Day'...this Thursday, April 23

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    Apr 21, 2009 3:13 PM GMT
    Ok, thou rank white-livered canker-blossoms!...get ready

    Story Highlights
    "Talk Like Shakespeare Day" celebrates the bard's 445th birthday on Thursday
    Chicago mayor urges citizens to "screw their courage to the sticking place"
    Theater group promotes more use of "methinks," "prithee," "fie," and "in sooth"
    One Web site gives tips on how to talk like Bill; another offers Shakespearean insults

    The Web site also offers 10 quick pointers on how to talk like Bill. A sampling:
    Don't waste time saying "it." Just use the letter "t" ('tis, 'twill, I'll do't).
    To add weight to your opinions, try starting them with "methinks," "mayhaps," "in sooth" or "wherefore."
    When in doubt, add the letters "eth" to the end of verbs (he runneth, he trippeth, he falleth).

    Finally, if you're inclined to yell at the driver who cuts you off as you head to work, why settle for "idiot," when "thou rank white-livered canker-blossom" is so much more satisfying. http://www.cnn.com/2009/US/04/21/talk.like.shakespeare/index.html

    But should you need some help, head over to talklikeshakespeare.org -- a Web site that the Chicago Shakespeare Theater unveiled Monday. http://talklikeshakespeare.org/

    Shakespeare Insult Generator: http://www.william-shakespeare.org.uk/a1-shakespearean-insults-generator.htm
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Apr 21, 2009 4:09 PM GMT
    no
  • DukeAtreides

    Posts: 64

    Apr 21, 2009 4:58 PM GMT
    The geek in me just exploded in a fit of unbridled joy!
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    Apr 21, 2009 5:06 PM GMT
    Timberoo saidno

    Me believeth that that wouldst be "nay"
    on this up-coming Thursday
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    Apr 21, 2009 5:07 PM GMT
    CollegeGuy2009 saidThe geek in me just exploded in a fit of unbridled joy!

    You're too handsome to be geeky ... icon_biggrin.gif
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    Apr 21, 2009 7:33 PM GMT
    Will be too busy raising a glass to St George, as that is certainly St George's day, but there is no certainty it's the day Shakespeare was born on.
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    Apr 21, 2009 8:23 PM GMT
    Rejoiceth not for such sweet sounds,
    'Twould out us all on fairie grounds,
    To speak as Shakespeare wouldst appear,
    The surest markings of a queer.

    To give such reign to tongues sore press'd,
    In sib'lant speech ourselves undress'd,
    Safe hidden in the modern way,
    A taste of Tudor strips us gay.

    Forswearing then this Avon bard,
    Lest hoisted with our own petard,
    We seem less clever than we think,
    When fancy words doth paint us pink.


    (I wrote this imagining it spoken by Barney Frank, so I included lots of sibilant stumbling blocks. Of course you will recognize the references to Shakespeare's plays, like Hamlet)
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    Apr 21, 2009 9:26 PM GMT
    Red_Vespa saidRejoiceth not for such sweet sounds,
    'Twould out us all on fairie grounds,
    To speak as Shakespeare wouldst appear,
    The surest markings of a queer.

    To give such reign to tongues sore press'd,
    In sib'lant speech ourselves undress'd,
    Safe hidden in the modern way,
    A taste of Tudor strips us gay.

    Foreswearing then this Avon bard,
    Lest hoisted with our own petard,
    We seem less clever than we think,
    When fancy words doth paint us pink.


    (I wrote this imagining it spoken by Barney Frank, so I included lots of sibilant stumbling blocks. Of course you will recognize the references to Shakespeare's plays, like Hamlet)

    Wow! That's amazing writing, Red. ... icon_biggrin.gif
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    Apr 21, 2009 9:40 PM GMT
    Caslon10000 saidWow! That's amazing writing, Red. ... icon_biggrin.gif

    You are too kind! Took me about 30 minutes to write it, kinda slow for me, but a terrible racket outside as our neighbors are having steel hurricane shutters installed on all their windows. I had to keep putting my fingers in my ears and waiting, or else I couldn't concentrate.

    It's not in the correct meter, but I like my own looser form for this sort of silliness, easier to read. The "hoisted with our [his] own petard" is of course lifted from Hamlet, but can you guess the other oblique Shakespearean references?

    The hardest part was making those hissy sibilant "S" sounds fit in, to tease our great friend Barney Frank (The first line is my favorite, largely unspeakable - try it! Many gay men will stumble on "thweet thounds"), and to comply with the premise I chose that speaking Shakespearean is ultra-gay, from several aspects.
  • Hagan_F

    Posts: 210

    Apr 22, 2009 3:39 AM GMT
    But soft! What light through yonder window breaks? It is the east and LOLcatz are the sun!
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    Apr 22, 2009 10:28 AM GMT
    Hagan_F saidBut soft! What light through yonder window breaks? It is the east and LOLcatz are the sun!

    Yes, and further into that famous scene, when Romeo replies to the ceiling cat:

    It speaks:
    O, speak again, with captions! for thou art
    Impervious to this height, being o'er my head
    As is a winged harbinger of mishap
    Unto the white-upturned unfocused eyes
    Of bloggers that fall back to gaze on it
    When it bestrides the shifting ceiling tiles
    And leaps upon the baldness of Cass Lon.

    Original:

    She speaks:
    O, speak again, bright angel! for thou art
    As glorious to this night, being o'er my head
    As is a winged messenger of heaven
    Unto the white-upturned wondering eyes
    Of mortals that fall back to gaze on him
    When he bestrides the lazy-pacing clouds
    And sails upon the bosom of the air.
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    Apr 22, 2009 11:29 AM GMT
    Caslon of our fairy band,
    the lads are here at hand,
    And the boy, mistook by me,
    Pleading for a lover's fee.
    Shall we his lovely codpiece see?
    Lord, what fools these faggots be!
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    Apr 22, 2009 11:40 AM GMT
    CollegeGuy2009 saidThe geek in me just exploded in a fit of unbridled joy!


    i say it truly
    unbridle thyself before me
    explode where thou wouldst
    the joy shall fit the geek
    as it fits the geekee

    but wait,
    forsooth, now methinks
    to be but more bridled
    even well trussed
    hung as the butcher's wood
    might better suit
    the exploding of fits
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    Apr 22, 2009 1:10 PM GMT
    tommyclement saidLord, what fools these faggots be!

    Acclaimed, faire Tommy be,
    For words, most sweet to me.
    That I, though Pri'pus threats,
    Will steal, without regrets.

    These words, he writes so fine,
    I'll claim, as though they're mine.
    And use, in many ways,
    To entertain the gays.

    (Historical note: the ancient god Priapus was not only associated with having a giant phallus (hence the modern medical term "priapism"), but he was also the scourge of thieves. When he caught a thief, always assumed to be a male, he would anally rape him as punishment, with his enormous cock. Oh my! icon_wink.gif )
  • steven_patter...

    Posts: 144

    Apr 22, 2009 1:36 PM GMT
    Hey, this oughta be a piece o' cake. I'll be performing that day in MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING down in Orlando, FL and will thus be talking like this all evening regardless.
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    Apr 22, 2009 1:40 PM GMT
    Does talk like Shakespeare day mean I have to try and speak in iambic pentameter? Or just use vocabulary from the 16th Century?
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    Apr 22, 2009 2:03 PM GMT
    dashdashdash saidDoes talk like Shakespeare day mean I have to try and speak in iambic pentameter? Or just use vocabulary from the 16th Century?

    I think the evocation of late Elizabethan speech is adequate. I don't write in imabic pentameter myself, which isn't how ordinary people spoke in real life, anyway, though they certainly used a different vocabulary and sentence structure. The royal court and the upper classes still conversed freely in French, whose grammar had a great influence on English usage at that time.

    It was a contemporary notion that public plays needed to elevate themselves above the ordinary vulgar speech, and instead use devices like the imabic. Daily speech was considered too crude and common to aspire to the level of art, and so artistic rules were applied. It was a European tradition that extended far back into the Middle Ages, and likely even further into the Classical Period.
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    Apr 23, 2009 5:28 AM GMT
    dashdashdash saidDoes talk like Shakespeare day mean I have to try and speak in iambic pentameter? Or just use vocabulary from the 16th Century?


    Give thy thoughts to tongue,
    and any unproportioned thought do act.
    Be thou familiar and every bit vulgar



    Ed. Note I luv the way this thread has morphed into two almost separate streams - the iambic pentameter, re-working of Shakespeare quotes stream - and the common speeach in Elizabethan anglaise stream.
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    Apr 23, 2009 6:40 AM GMT
    Red_Vespa said

    These words, he writes so fine,
    I'll claim, as though they're mine.
    And use, in many ways,
    To entertain the gays




    They say miracles are past; and we have our
    philosophical fairies, to take modesty and make familiar,
    things supernatural and gay.
    Hence is it that we make queens of princes,
    ensconcing ourselves into carnal pleasures
    would I but could submit
    mineself to an unknown Vespa.
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    Apr 23, 2009 11:34 AM GMT
    Forsooth! Tis the day.
  • docmarvy

    Posts: 122

    Apr 23, 2009 11:47 AM GMT
    So, would it be okay if I just talk like I do on "Talk Like A Pirate" day but throw in a few "thou"s and "thy"s? Basically the same thing, no?


    Arrrrrr.....
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    Apr 23, 2009 12:05 PM GMT
    docmarvy saidSo, would it be okay if I just talk like I do on "Talk Like A Pirate" day but throw in a few "thou"s and "thy"s? Basically the same thing, no?

    Arrrrrr.....

    Arrrrrr... no. The periods are roughly 100 years apart, and Elizabethan English had changed a great deal by the time of the classic Caribbean pirates. Plus pirates were speaking in the coarse vernacular, whereas Shakespearean English must always be poetic & florid, even if not in the iambic pentameter structure.
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    Apr 23, 2009 12:32 PM GMT
    tommyclement saidThey say miracles are past; and we have our
    philosophical fairies, to take modesty and make familiar,
    things supernatural and gay.
    Hence is it that we make queens of princes,
    ensconcing ourselves into carnal pleasures
    would I but could submit
    mineself to an unknown Vespa.

    For my part, I care not: I say little; but when
    time shall serve, there shall be smiles; but that
    shall be as it may. I dare not fight; but I will
    wink and hold out mine iron: it is a simple one; but
    what though? it will toast cheese, and it will
    endure cold as another man's sword will: and
    there's an end.

    (Verbatim from Henry V, Act 2, Scene 1)
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    Apr 23, 2009 12:41 PM GMT
    I'm holding out for Talk Like Chaucer Day.
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    Apr 23, 2009 1:35 PM GMT
    steven_patterson saidHey, this oughta be a piece o' cake. I'll be performing that day in MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING down in Orlando, FL and will thus be talking like this all evening regardless.

    What role?