help me with my date!

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 24, 2009 12:24 AM GMT
    I met this guy last Friday while stomping through the streets of West Hollywood. He is a great guy as far as i can tell. Um, my only deal is that today we have a date and i had mentioned I wanted to have Ethiopian or Indian for dinner. He, however, does not like that stuff. Also, for a movie he would like to see I LOVE YOU MAN! geezus i didnt know how to react to that.

    how the hell do i lay it down for him that I refuse to watch mainstream movies or eat bland everyday crap like mexican or italian? I dont want to hurt his feelings.
  • Webster666

    Posts: 9217

    Apr 24, 2009 12:46 AM GMT
    It has been my experience that some people dismiss a kind of food (Ethiopian or Indian, for instance) without ever having tried it or without even looking at the menu. Some people have to be convinced to try new things. Almost every restaurant has at least one dish that everybody could eat and enjoy. Anyway, the idea is to share a meal with someone you like. If he's completely inflexible, that should be a huge red flag.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 24, 2009 12:47 AM GMT
    on the other hand... why is it so impossible for you to compromise this time?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 24, 2009 12:48 AM GMT
    In any relationship you have to learn how to deal with your differences, probably there are many things about you he dislikes too and for some reason he hasnt told you. Probably he doesnt want to hurt your feelings either and probably for him all those differences dont really matter and can be trivialized in a relationship.

    Think of all the things you like about him, and think of all the things you dont like about him. If you think its still a big deal then you dont really like him that much, otherwise then try to learn from him and let him learn from you and PROBABLY it will work.

    icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 24, 2009 12:57 AM GMT
    Might as well start off the relationship on the right foot - compromise. You don't want to see a mainstream movie and he doesn't want to eat Ethiopian or Indian. So, how about you each pick one and "try something new" for the other one? That's what I would do.

    Just tell him what's up and see what he says. I'm sure he'd be open to a new type of food if he could see the movie he really wants to see - or vice versa.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 24, 2009 1:12 AM GMT
    meh.. give up..
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 24, 2009 1:22 AM GMT
    Ethiopian food may be too exotic for most people. Why not ask him what foods he likes? You should be able to gauge his tastes, and figure out something that's both within his comfort zone and something you like.

    Oh come on.. Are you such a movie snob that you only watch foreign films with subtitles? Mindless comedy ain't too bad once in a while. icon_lol.gif Again, ask him what sort of movies he likes. You should be able to find something in common.

    Like others have said, compromise goes both ways. It's all part of the process. Enjoy your date! icon_cool.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 24, 2009 1:48 AM GMT
    On the other hand if a distaste for Ethiopian food is an absolute dealbreaker tell him it's off and why.
    Then you can calculate the odds of finding someone you want to date among the pool of those who relish Ethiopian meals and movies with subtitles. Good luck!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 24, 2009 2:10 AM GMT
    Dating is give and take and compromise. If either person is going to be selfish and ungiving to the other person's interests and taste, I would say forget dating him....and go find someone who has your exact tastes. ... icon_rolleyes.gif ... good luck
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 24, 2009 3:22 AM GMT
    since no one has said it already

    isnt ethopian food an oxymoron
  • dannyboy1101

    Posts: 977

    Apr 24, 2009 3:22 AM GMT
    Sorry, but I say trying new food is not a good first date idea. A first date can be nerve-wracking enough as it is let alone adding getting some sort of pretentious food item with an audience of one staring and waiting to know if ur going to like it or not. Do something that will be fun but won't raise the anxiety levels of you or your date.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 24, 2009 3:24 AM GMT
    Lostboy saidon the other hand... why is it so impossible for you to compromise this time?



    exactly what i was thinking, someone is being selfish . . . and mexican food bland . . . idk where you have had mexican food but it's far form bland
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 24, 2009 3:25 AM GMT
    jordanbobordan88 saidsince no one has said it already

    isnt ethopian food an oxymoron


    they boil rocks and dirt to create a hot mud mixture. try it sometime icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 24, 2009 3:30 AM GMT
    chaos444 said
    Lostboy saidon the other hand... why is it so impossible for you to compromise this time?



    exactly what i was thinking, someone is being selfish . . . and mexican food bland . . . idk where you have had mexican food but it's far form bland


    lol this, and italian food..when was italian food bland? It's my favorite!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 24, 2009 3:36 AM GMT
    If you tell him that you are not into main stream movies or bland food, then he is just going to get the impression that you two will never be able to work things out and a relationship with you is a waste of time.

    What I would suggest is try to expose each other to either extreme so that you can find a happy medium. If you can't do that for one date, how do you think that you will be able to do it for more. So, split the date up. Say he can pick the food if you pick the movie. See if you can enjoy the things that each of you dislike with the other person. The person that you are with can make the experience enjoyable.

    If you two cannot compromise for that, then you are wasting your time anyway. I personally don't go on a date if I don't see a possibility for something more. Good luck!! I hope that you enjoy each other enough that you can suffer through the bad stuff!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 24, 2009 3:38 AM GMT
    Well, telling him you WONT isn't the mindframe you should be in when it comes to dating or relationships. You have to compromise and sometimes give into one thing over another off and on for the sake of spending time with the other person. In this case you should've just given in and told him next time, "we did your thing, now lets do mine." When it comes to relationships, personal rules that don't involve your own personal health are negligible.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 24, 2009 3:40 AM GMT
    jrunner25 saidI met this guy last Friday while stomping through the streets of West Hollywood. He is a great guy as far as i can tell. Um, my only deal is that today we have a date and i had mentioned I wanted to have Ethiopian or Indian for dinner. He, however, does not like that stuff. Also, for a movie he would like to see I LOVE YOU MAN! geezus i didnt know how to react to that.

    how the hell do i lay it down for him that I refuse to watch mainstream movies or eat bland everyday crap like mexican or italian? I dont want to hurt his feelings.


    wonder why ur single...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 24, 2009 4:59 AM GMT
    what's wrong with italian and mexican food? icon_confused.gif

    anyways... you have to talk to him and express your opinion. Let him eat what he wants and you eat what you want?

    there problem solved icon_wink.gif

    and for the movie ...yea i don't know what to say for that ..goodluck

    ok, that will be $125+tax, how would you like to pay ? j/k
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 24, 2009 5:34 AM GMT
    Maybe he's trying not to get into a situation that may be unconfortable for him or make him feel out of his element.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 24, 2009 5:53 AM GMT
    Depending on ur situation, u guys need to meet each other half way.icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 24, 2009 6:46 AM GMT
    jrunner25 saidI met this guy last Friday while stomping through the streets of West Hollywood. He is a great guy as far as i can tell. Um, my only deal is that today we have a date and i had mentioned I wanted to have Ethiopian or Indian for dinner. He, however, does not like that stuff. Also, for a movie he would like to see I LOVE YOU MAN! geezus i didnt know how to react to that.

    how the hell do i lay it down for him that I refuse to watch mainstream movies or eat bland everyday crap like mexican or italian? I dont want to hurt his feelings.


    Um... without even reading the replies I'll say that you probably should save him and yourself some time and call off the date. Don't do it.

    Obviously he isn't good enough for you. icon_rolleyes.gif
  • TadPohl

    Posts: 259

    Apr 24, 2009 7:15 AM GMT
    jrunner25 saidI met this guy last Friday while stomping through the streets of West Hollywood. He is a great guy as far as i can tell. Um, my only deal is that today we have a date and i had mentioned I wanted to have Ethiopian or Indian for dinner. He, however, does not like that stuff. Also, for a movie he would like to see I LOVE YOU MAN! geezus i didnt know how to react to that.

    how the hell do i lay it down for him that I refuse to watch mainstream movies or eat bland everyday crap like mexican or italian? I dont want to hurt his feelings.



    I believe that there are two ways of doing this. You can either be honest and figure out if you're capable of accepting each other's differences or you can spare him his feelings and build your relationship on lies.

    I don't see the point in having a relationship with someone you can't be honest with.....especially for such trivial things. What are you going to do when you have bigger issues that come about in your relationship?

    This guy that you went on a date with may be cool, may be sexy and fun, but if you're not a match....should you force it?

    I guess this becomes a question of "love" or "lust".
  • boilerup_82

    Posts: 188

    Apr 24, 2009 9:25 AM GMT
    jrunner25 saidI met this guy last Friday while stomping through the streets of West Hollywood. He is a great guy as far as i can tell. Um, my only deal is that today we have a date and i had mentioned I wanted to have Ethiopian or Indian for dinner. He, however, does not like that stuff. Also, for a movie he would like to see I LOVE YOU MAN! geezus i didnt know how to react to that.

    how the hell do i lay it down for him that I refuse to watch mainstream movies or eat bland everyday crap like mexican or italian? I dont want to hurt his feelings.


    if you think mexican food is bland, then you've been eating it at the wrong places...
  • gymlocker

    Posts: 159

    Apr 24, 2009 10:14 AM GMT
    Frankly, it sounds like you were both infatuated with appearances and now you're trying to turn it into a date. You met this guy walking down the street and now you're mystified as to why he doesn't have anything in common with you???? If food and movie choices bother you both, you shouldn't go out. It'll get a lot worse later on. Neither of you is mature enough to be dating in the first place. It sounds like you're both still children that are going to hold their breath until each gets what they want. And over issues that don't really matter in the long run. Then again, maybe going out with him will help you both grow up and become more like adults, even though it's destined to fail this time.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 24, 2009 10:27 AM GMT
    The joys of dating- ha. This might be just the beginning; time for some relationship homework... unless all you want is to do is score with the W.H. guy.

    for some advice check out wiki:
    http://www.wikihow.com/Have-a-Healthy-Relationship

    "There is no such thing as a PERFECT relationship. Sure, most of the time you'll be compromising. But don't get shocked or overly depressed because of arguments or fights. This will come for SURE. Without arguments and fights, your relationship will NOT grow stronger."