Love to travel....but doing it alone sucks!

  • TNZ20

    Posts: 1

    Apr 25, 2009 11:30 AM GMT
    Growing up in Hawaii, my family never traveled beyond the islands. In fact, I was 16 years old when I finally had my first trip to another state and 28 when I first went international. Now I work for an amazing company that has opened the world to me and I'm free to move, vacation, and work anywhere they have a property.

    The issue I have is all of a sudden, I'm finding myself approaching my mid-thirties and still single. I meet great guys everywhere I go, but things don't work out because I'm usually gone in a couple days, weeks, months, or years. I'm thinking of making one last move and settling, although I wish to find that right guy first. Dubai just ain't cutting it even though I am able to earn and save a lot of money here. Ideally, I would like to head to the US Mainland and then someday down the road, retire back in Hawaii.

    Anyone else have a similiar issue?
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    Apr 25, 2009 2:50 PM GMT
    I've moved around a lot while in college and since college. So, I know what you're saying. Currently I'm living and working in the Caribbean and making/saving a lot of money while getting some amazing work experience. But, it's probably the last place anyone would pick to meet guys.

    I also benefit from being able to travel anywhere in the world from here and relatively often. But, my friends back in the States are feeling the crunch of the economy and don't have the time or the money to travel with me. So, I'm stuck going places on my own which blows. But, I make the most of it.
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    Apr 25, 2009 3:18 PM GMT
    I've actually done a lot of solo travel before I settled down with my bf. Thereafter, most trips were done together. Still, we give each other individual time to pursue our own interests during the trips.
  • dantoujours

    Posts: 378

    Apr 25, 2009 3:32 PM GMT
    I went on a trip to Sénégal Africa last November all by myself. Several friends were interested in the trip but found it a bit too "scary" and "rough" to do it. They seem to prefer resort or cruise type trips and I like to get off the beaten track and mix with the locals. So I usually end up on my own when I travel.

    Pics here:

    http://www.flickr.com/photos/dantoujours/sets/72157609625422524/

    http://www.flickr.com/photos/dantoujours/sets/72157610233569854/

    http://www.flickr.com/photos/dantoujours/sets/72157610334856680/


    I quite enjoyed it. I was able to do what I wanted, when I wanted. I had internet access the entire time (yes! even in Africa) so was able to share my experience with my friends and family and get feedback from them.

    It's definitely a tradeoff. It would have been nice to have some companionship and experience my travels with someone, but you can have a good time on your own too.
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    Apr 25, 2009 3:39 PM GMT
    I have the ability to travel quite a bit, for work and for play. I usually end up traveling solo because my friends don't have the same flexibility or ability. I have gone on several trips alone because I don't want to waste the opportunity to see the world while I can. I don't mind the getting there and getting around part of being alone, but I do wish I had someone to share the experience with. I try to meet people where ever I go and sometimes that works out and other times it does not.

    I have tried to at least chat on RJ with guys from places I am going to get a feel for what their city or culture is like. Sometimes I feel like it comes across creepy though (lol) I think some guys are thinking that I am looking for a place to crash while I am there.

    I am game to travel almost anywhere and almost anytime. So if there is someone out there that wants to go somewhere and not go alone, hit me up.
  • roadbikeRob

    Posts: 14296

    Apr 25, 2009 3:39 PM GMT
    I tend to prefer to travel solo because I can do the things and visit the places that I want without the questions of why are we going there and why are we doing this? That is the disadvantage of travelling with someone because what they want to see and do might conflict with the places and things that you want to see and do. So I prefer to travel alone.
  • Cdnontherun

    Posts: 69

    Apr 25, 2009 3:40 PM GMT
    I travel a lot and since I was about 16 98% of it has been by myself. I actually like traveling alone particularly when going to a new place. I find that traveling with someone else, especially a boyfriend, keeps you from reaching out to the local people. I have a schedule that allows me to stay in one place for five or six weeks at a time and I love to rent an apartment or find a good B&B and then try to blend in. I use that as a base and then travel from there. It has allowed me to make real friends in a number of places and to feel like I came home with some sort of understanding of the people I visited. I think a lot of people have this romantic idea of traveling with someone, but traveling alone, with the right attitude, can be extremely rewarding.
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    Apr 25, 2009 4:52 PM GMT
    I LOVE traveling alone -- probably a little too much. I have traveled to Aruba and Cancun alone and had a blast on both trips. Especially Cancun though -- this place has some crazy gay clubs icon_lol.gif I can only afford it because I work for a major hotel comapny and get ridiculous rates. When you travel alone there is a lot of freedom... I guess that's what it so enticing to me. Maybe someday I'll have someone to do it with...
  • DuggerPDX

    Posts: 386

    Apr 25, 2009 5:18 PM GMT
    I'm in the travel business, and part of my job is to visit resorts and other travel destinations so I can make educated recommendations for my clients. Most of this is done solo so I have become accustomed to traveling alone. It took a few trips to get used to the idea of not having someone with me. The one upside is that usually the sales staff at the hotel or wherever I am going will want to entertain me, which can be fun OR a huge disappointment.

    Usually on big trips to the more desirable locations my partner will accompany me. Next trip Houston and Birmingham, he is not going, Paris and Amsterdam, what do you know, he will be coming along.

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    Apr 25, 2009 6:22 PM GMT
    I've traveled with a large group, a small group, with one other friend, and solo. It's definitely better either solo or with one other person.

    One upside of traveling solo is it's much easier to meet people. People are more inclined to talk to you if you're not surrounded by your own little group of friends. Plus it forces you to be more outgoing if you tend to be a shy person.
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    Apr 25, 2009 6:51 PM GMT
    Traveling alone can be good - but I can see how it would be a bit dull for some guys. I like it either way - with someone or alone. The thing I would never - ever do - is take any sort of tour bus trip. Rent a car or go places on your own. Ask any concierge what to see and stay out of tourist traps. As far as being by yourself - it can be fine. Guys find the *lone traveler* kind of interesting. Traveling alone is far better than being with a guest who is not a good traveler, or who is not agreeable or grateful for all you are doing for him (I had one of those once - it was hell). Speaking as an *airline brat* with a whole lot of traveling experience, going back to childhood - I'd just say - do your homework - find out where the best places are, and leave out the rest. Have fun - alone or with someone special!
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    Apr 25, 2009 7:19 PM GMT
    I think traveling with others is one of those really difficult things that really tests the limits of a friendship/relationship. I pretty much won't travel with someone unless I am sure we will travel well together because the tension otherwise can ruin a great trip. And when I do travel with people, it's always with the stipulation that there will be ample time spent apart so that I can be alone. In a lot of ways, I prefer traveling alone. You set your own rules, do it how you want, when you want and you can meet tons of new people.
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    Apr 25, 2009 7:20 PM GMT
    I've traveled with my bf and alone. Each has its rewards. It's great to share your experiences with someone, and the memories are a bond you'll always have. On the other hand, if you travel alone you will meet more of the locals. You'll make a more personal connection with the place you're visiting and you may make new friends.
    Be open to both ways of enjoying travel.
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    Apr 25, 2009 7:35 PM GMT

    Traveling alone is a blast. It forces you to put yourself out there and make new friends. Now I have friends all over the world and its a great feeling. Also, it makes you a better person in your home town too when you meet someone out who is traveling alone, you can return the favor.

    Its not for everyone though, but the trade off is sometimes worth the hassle of feeling you have to constantly entertain someone else. If your lucky, you can find a travel companion that is mature enough to be able to go off on his own sometimes, but also can come back and meet up for some shared time.
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    Apr 25, 2009 8:34 PM GMT
    innerathlete saidI think traveling with others is one of those really difficult things that really tests the limits of a friendship/relationship. I pretty much won't travel with someone unless I am sure we will travel well together because the tension otherwise can ruin a great trip. And when I do travel with people, it's always with the stipulation that there will be ample time spent apart so that I can be alone. In a lot of ways, I prefer traveling alone. You set your own rules, do it how you want, when you want and you can meet tons of new people.

    My best friend and I took a five week trip to southeast Asia a few years ago. I agree, it'll test your relationship. We didn't go the whole trip without a few irritable spats, but in the end we both had a great time, probably grew closer, and still reminisce often about that trip.

    Having shared memories with your best friend of a great experience is an irreplaceable gift.

    P.S. Nice to see you back on RJ, inner! icon_smile.gif
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    Sep 30, 2009 11:32 AM GMT
    I travel a lot, usually for hiking/backpacking. So far, I have been fortuante to have others to come along, but have had conflicts on where or what to do.
    It would not bother me to travel alone, although I prefer to have someone else along to share the experience.
    IF anyone else is traveling and would like someone to travel with, Pleae do keep me in mind.
  • zakariahzol

    Posts: 2241

    Sep 30, 2009 11:52 AM GMT
    For me, it another way around. I prefer to travel and backpack alone. Of course I would love to travel with somebody else. But he have to be compatible and visited the plcaes I prefer to visit. I have travel with my ex housemate and is was a disaster. He complaint about me wanting to go out at night, that I spent to much even something about my bathroom habit.

    If I am by myself. I have only myself to listen too. But I agree it could be lonesome, dangerous and I endup talking by myself in the hotel room.
  • jrs1

    Posts: 4388

    Sep 30, 2009 12:14 PM GMT

    Yes! I have the same problem, OP. I was raised in Florida and my family is not wealthy and, because of my having gone to school in southern New Hampshire as an undergraduate, I was not able to work during the summers while on vacation. I am now in graduate school in Boston and am doing pretty well. I am hoping to finish school early, that way, I'll be able to focus on working, buying my first car, and stabilizing my life to settle into a relationship with a man who has - hopefully - prepared himself to do the same.

    School is one of the main reasons I am single. I get on well with just about anyone and am constantly meeting new and interesting people, but must always return to my studies and what not. I am determined to open up my life a bit more and make room for possibilities, but nothing is promised. I only hope to continue learning for the sake of understanding.
  • gallus81

    Posts: 350

    Sep 30, 2009 1:05 PM GMT
    I couldn't imagine travelling with another person ... maybe a day trip here and there, but anything more than two days and it's just me ... selfish, yes, but I'm yet to meet anyone I could hang out with for that length of time ... probably something I should look into if I ever want a relationship I guess.
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    Sep 30, 2009 1:29 PM GMT
    I travel a lot. Its my passion. Been all over the world and totally enjoy it. I pretty much am always alone.

    Other people don't seem to have the same interest or maybe they don't have the flexible work scheduale that I do.

    Yes, it would be nice to have someone with you as you are gazing at the Taj Mahal, or wandering through St. Peters basilica. At night, it can be challenging (ask the staff at the restaurant if you can eat your dinner at the bar rather than sitting alone at a table). Or going to a club ends up being an exercise in dodging people who think you are out to get laid or you end up being completely ignored.

    But the freedom of it all is worth it. And the memories and stories that you bring home are priceless and provide ample topics of conversation with people when you get back.
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    Sep 30, 2009 2:27 PM GMT
    I spent a year backpacking in Australia and five weeks in Europe, both times alone. It taught me a new level of self-reliance I've carried with me every since, but I sometimes felt I was in school or at work, not on a vacation. Sometimes I just wanted to hand the map to someone else and say, "You figure out which train, I need a nap."

    The kind of travel I do now requires other people, as they are activity-based trips, but I try to tack on some alone time before or after so I can brush up my skills. Travelling alone may not always be easy or fun, but the payoff down the road is huge.