Is it wrong of me to be mad?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 18, 2007 10:40 PM GMT
    Scenario : One day I recieved a textmsg from an "Anon" guy saying he wants male gay friends so I texted him back and we started chatting for 2 weeks about 20 texmsg per day. I told him everything things I would only tell my boyfriend or someone I know im never goign to meet like this guy. After 2 weeks my roomate teells me the guy i've been texting was actually him and I realy dont want anything to do with my roommate were not even friends.

    Now my Question is : If its unfair of me to be mad at him for posing as someone els for 2 weeks and fishing out my deepest desires?

    What do you think
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 19, 2007 12:46 AM GMT
    Your roommate is sick and is need of counseling. You have nothing to be embarrassed or mad about. Pity is probably a better emotion to have toward your deeply disturbed roommate.
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    Apr 19, 2007 12:54 AM GMT
    I agree. What the roommate did was creepy.
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Apr 19, 2007 12:57 AM GMT
    Yeah...that's a betrayal of trust and you have every right to go up to him and ask him why he did such a despicable thing
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    Apr 19, 2007 2:35 AM GMT
    Find a new room mate, Fast
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    Apr 19, 2007 4:15 AM GMT
    I agree with all of the above. This is very creepy. However, I do have some questions:

    1. Is it possible that all of this was some smart-ass joke?

    2. Were you and your roommate totally out to one another? I'm asking that because if you were out and he wasn't, maybe this is some odd way for him to come out. I also note that you are only 20. That means your roommate is also very young. So it could be that he is just having a hard time with all of that.

    But, yes, I agree with the three posts above (that's all of them). Just evaluated on its merits, this is very creepy, and I wouldn't want to be around the guy, unless there was some plausible, innocuous explanation.
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    Apr 19, 2007 4:16 AM GMT
    Sorry, I meant the four posts above mine, that's all of them. I didn't mean to leave cutemascjock out... :-)
  • MikemikeMike

    Posts: 6932

    Apr 19, 2007 5:00 AM GMT
    Con I agree with cutejock. Don't feel bad. He is the own with major issues. Your choice now is keep him in your life or out of it? I would chose the latter!
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    Apr 19, 2007 5:11 AM GMT
    Thanks guys thanks for the input.

    To answer fastprof's Q.
    1. No it wasnt a joke he was just trying his luck
    2. No one except my roommate now knows Im gay anf I dont know if I can trust him
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    Apr 19, 2007 5:14 AM GMT
    This is probably the wrong place to ask for such advice. The whole thread makes us look a bit shabby. Lots of judgemental and nasty things are being said about this guy based on only your side of the story, and it just doesn't seem nice.

    Why are you responding to anonymous text messages from strangers? I don't mean to get on your case, but the only person you should be angry at here is yourself, buddy.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 19, 2007 7:13 AM GMT
    Fire your roommate.

    That's a bullshit game.

    Get people like that out of your life as soon as possible.
  • red_series

    Posts: 136

    Apr 19, 2007 9:57 AM GMT
    Why did you respond to an "anon" text msg in the first place? Granted, what your roomie did is a bit werid, but didn't you think it was odd some random guy, who happened to be gay, text msg'd you looking for gay friends?
  • OptimusMatt

    Posts: 1124

    Apr 19, 2007 10:40 AM GMT
    I admit it's a bit odd, but if you've spent the 2 weeks sending like, 20 tm's a day between each other, clearly...you have some sort of common interest.
    Get off your fucking high horses all - sounds like this guy had no idea how to approach you and decided this was the best way for him - it's not the way I would choose, and it's a little strange, but if from the tm's the guy seemed, you know, stable, I don't really see a problem. Sometimes people need to hide behind that barrier of text to get through the initial phase of a relationship. It's a crutch for the socially inept, but sometimes it's worth it.
    I cannot believe how incredibly bitchy every single response has been, with the possible exception of one. Wow. Without knowing the contents of the text messages it's hard to argue for the guy, but it's also hard to argue against - I say cut him some slack, he sounds pathetically cute. I mean, you're fucking 20 - it'd be one thing if you were like, 30, or 40...then yeah, buddy,grow up. But @ 20?
    Also...what person actually receives completely 'anon' emails from random homos saying they want to be friends - is your cell # scrawled on a bathroom wall somewhere?
    Ultimately, I think it's pathetically cute - but like I said, I don't know what you guys talked about so that opinion could change, rapidly based on that.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 19, 2007 11:33 AM GMT
    Ok I know it was stupid of me to reply on his textmsg I wish i never did. But im 20 and i've never met or even spoke to another gay guy so I was desperate.

    And no my cell# is'nt in some bathroom!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 19, 2007 4:11 PM GMT
    Maybe your roommate is interested in you!
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    Apr 19, 2007 5:02 PM GMT
    Confusis,

    Did anyone ever teach you not to take candy from a stranger? Same thing applies to text messages. Discretion is the better part of valor.

    That said, don't waste time being 'mad' at yourself. You learned a valuable lesson and now you can spend your time/effort making a few real gay friends you can actually rely on.

    You didn't say why you're 'not friends' with your roommate. His actions took advantage of your situation. However he did reveal himself to you in the end, yes?

    I have to agree with the more recent replies here... sounds to me like there is a reasonable possibility that your roommate is gay and/or is trying to become friends with you. Or maybe not. You have no obligation to like/trust him. But if you think of what happened as a growing gift, perhaps there is still more for you to learn about yourself here in this situation, eh?

    I know I did crazy, manipulative things at age 20 before I came out. It was the best I could do at the time. I'm sure many others here will tell you the same thing if they're honest.

    My self-confidence and self-knowledge has grown over the years BECAUSE I took chances on people and situations.

    It's great that you are examining your actions. That means you're growing. Keep up the good work.

    PM8
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    Apr 19, 2007 5:29 PM GMT
    What the roomate did (starting as a joke or not) was ass... But I'm not sure (and I'm an old school guy in many ways) why any one would divuldge "intimate" details they reserve only for the closet people in their lives, to a stranger they met on the internet? I can see the - well NO ONE knows I'm gay and this seem an innocent way to express myself, but at the same time too often these intereations go awry or worse. I'm not "out", but did at a point in my life take a friend I knew I could trust and let them in so that I could let some things out and I think that would always be a better route than the arbitrary stranger on the internet.
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    Apr 19, 2007 5:32 PM GMT
    squueze me on the typos... I knew there'd be a few, damn it's hard to eat lunch and type at the same time :)
  • dfrourke

    Posts: 1062

    Apr 19, 2007 5:54 PM GMT
    Seems like your roommate has some growing up to do. Mad - sure. Is this a teachable moment for the two of you?

    I always think it is equally damaging to just write someone off. There is a great deal of good that might come from a 'cooling off period'...and then talking to your roommate about what happened and how it made you feel...

    ...but then that requires you to be an educator...

    - David
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    Apr 19, 2007 7:51 PM GMT
    Thanks guys I appriciate all your oppinions even the harsh ones. And believe me im beating myself up everyday for replying and saying all those things. But never again I'd Rather meet someone the old fashoin way
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    Apr 19, 2007 9:18 PM GMT
    L-O-S-E-R!!