"That's gay." Where do you stand on this line being used in movies?

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    Apr 26, 2009 1:44 AM GMT
    We've all heard the familiar and stare inducing line, "that's gay." There are variations, "don't be gay," "that's kinda gay," etcetera, and they are primarily uttered by those of us that went to high school in the 2000s. As part of pop culture, these phrases have started showing up in movies. What's your response when you hear it? Should it be there, or should it be switched out with another word? Does it promote homophobia and misunderstanding? I want to hear what you think.
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    Apr 26, 2009 1:58 AM GMT
    That's not gay; I am.
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    Apr 26, 2009 11:15 AM GMT
    It's derogatory, a put down - or even if intended to be humourous is probably understood as a put down by the vast majority of (straight) watchers.
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    Apr 26, 2009 11:32 AM GMT
    i dont mind. im a huge southpark fan and they say it all the time. u cant really tell anyone to stop saying something the best thing u can do is just surround urself with different ppl if it bothers u alot or just learn how to get over it
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Apr 26, 2009 11:37 AM GMT
    This is part of a whole societal point of view that is extremely homophobic
    and views anything that is gay is negative

    When someone says that something is "Gay"
    They are making a statement that whatever they are talking about is "Bad" is "Weak" and is "not desirable"
    They are also saying that being gay is negative at the sametime

    Just like the word Fag ....
    The use of the word Gay in this way is def derogatory and should be stopped
    I would Never let someone say either of these statements in my presense
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    Apr 26, 2009 12:51 PM GMT
    believe me a week does not go by that I don't have to point the fact that some that is, stupid, ugly, dumb, bad, funny, or just not right is NOT gay. I'm gay and I'm not any of those things... icon_wink.gif
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    Apr 26, 2009 1:02 PM GMT
    I taught high school earlier this decade, and the way the kids used "that's gay" and it's variants, including "that's SO gay" was definitely intended as derogatory. I don't see how it's helpful to respecting gay rights, and most importantly, to protecting gay students attending those schools from ridicule, harassment, and developing a poor self-image & depression that we know can lead to suicide.
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    Apr 26, 2009 1:02 PM GMT
    That usage is unacceptable in my life.
    Those who use it in my personal and professional life are quickly repremanded for the reasons stated above.......
  • MattyC0709

    Posts: 1199

    Apr 26, 2009 2:43 PM GMT
    Last Friday a friend kept saying stuff like that all the time to me... (well actually, quite often lately): "That's gay", "You're kinda gay", etc... and he doesn't even know (or at least I don't think he knows) that I'm gay. I let the comments slide off me and laugh along with him, but still with a small feeling of dislike towards him.

    Such statements are degratory implying that being gay is something to make fun of, or something bad. I think people like that need to grow a pair and be mature.
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    Apr 26, 2009 2:47 PM GMT
    I've had a problem with this response for some time now even though I know it's not meant to be harmful to gays. Similar to stating 'that's retarded'.....'That's gay!', promotes the stereotypes to separate and look down on us as a feminine, less than normal sub group.

    Just like other idiotic statements said with little thought on how others are negatively impacted, this is yet another one used to regulate how one should act. It's pretty sad how we can say so much with little thought behind it.
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    Apr 26, 2009 3:04 PM GMT
    I teach in a high school and we're teaching students that it is NOT ok to say "That's so gay" or "That's gay" because it equates to saying something or someone's stupid.

    Check out the ad's that are on television to help stop 'name calling' and to show people that saying "That's so gay" is hurtful.

    http://www.thinkb4youspeak.com/
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    Apr 27, 2009 2:59 AM GMT
    thanks for that link!
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    Apr 27, 2009 3:05 AM GMT
    I definitely don't like the use of the phrase in most cases, but I do have enough of a sense of humor that I can find selected usage (such as with friends who are joking or in South Park) as semi-humorous.
  • Bunjamon

    Posts: 3161

    Apr 27, 2009 3:06 AM GMT
    RealAmericanHero saidI teach in a high school and we're teaching students that it is NOT ok to say "That's so gay" or "That's gay" because it equates to saying something or someone's stupid.

    Check out the ad's that are on television to help stop 'name calling' and to show people that saying "That's so gay" is hurtful.

    http://www.thinkb4youspeak.com/


    Those ads are fantastic. When I saw them for the first time I definitely said to myself, "Wow, that's the first time anything useful has come out of Hillary Duff's mouth."

    I agree with everyone else that the expression is completely unnecessary, and hurtful.
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    Apr 27, 2009 3:19 AM GMT
    I don't mind it at all. I use it myself at time. I don't see anything derogatory about it. Everyone just has to have something to bitch about.
  • Webster666

    Posts: 9217

    Apr 27, 2009 3:36 AM GMT
    "Should it be there, or should it be switched out with another word?"
    _____________________________________________
    "Switched out" is so gay.
    You can switch the light on or off.
    You can switch the positioning of two or more things.
    You can switch your boyfriend, if he's into being flogged.
    But, you can't "switch out."
    You can take out something.
    You can put in something.
    But, you can't "switch out."
    If you could "switch out," theoretically, you could also "switch in."
    But, you can't.
    Either.
    Ever.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 27, 2009 3:48 AM GMT
    Its weird, for some people the word is disconnected from what it means. For others it is really potent.

    I'm too confused about how I should feel on the subject to stop my friends from using it.

    However, "That's so gay" is the only thing I actually 'permit.'
    I'll come up with some witty come-back for "queer" or "faggot."
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    Apr 27, 2009 4:18 AM GMT
    Nonissue. I say it sometimes.
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    Apr 27, 2009 4:31 AM GMT
    I usually say, "Really? What's gay about it?" and if they don't know I'm gay I'll even go as far as saying "I didn't know you were gay?" When they say they are not I say "Then how do you know it's gay?" When they try to explain I look confused and say "Oh, so your homophobic. I don't like being around people that hate others." Then I wait for a reply. After a while they just give up.

    Sometimes I'll even start commenting on it like they are using the word gay as it was originally used. You know. Happy.
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    Apr 27, 2009 5:10 AM GMT
    RealAmericanHero saidI teach in a high school and we're teaching students that it is NOT ok to say "That's so gay" or "That's gay" because it equates to saying something or someone's stupid.

    Check out the ad's that are on television to help stop 'name calling' and to show people that saying "That's so gay" is hurtful.

    http://www.thinkb4youspeak.com/


    I <3 wanda sykes!

    Anyway, I get extremely annoyed by it for the reasons that have already been stated. I'm out to my brother and a handful of my cousins. This one time, they must have used the word "gay" at least 10 times within a one-minute conversation...and the conversation had nothing to do with homosexuality. I retaliated by continuing the conversation with, "Yea, I remember when I got a parking ticket...it was hella Filipino. I mean, who comes up with these Filipino-ass parking rules anyway?"

    Needless to say, my brother and cousins aren't so quick to spout out "gay" so nonchalantly.

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    Apr 27, 2009 6:26 PM GMT
    Yep...for the most part, when gay is used as a filler word, particularly among the 'non-gay' (and even among those that are gay) it usually has derogatory implication. Although I don't think it's necessarily always a conscious form of homophobia, I'd say its implied meaning, by and large, is homophobic.

    I like that another poster referenced South Park...I'm a big fan too, but gay is definitely and continuously negatively referenced in phrases like "that's so gay" by this show and is surely one of the reasons this line, and myriad others like it, are so casually used in a broader sense. Yeah, kids do it, often mindlessly, but it does inspire negativity and sometimes hate.

    I used to say this line myself, regardless of the orientation of my audience, but have since curbed usage that could be interpreted as negatively associating gay with something else, however inane. When I hear the line from strangers, I usually ask "Why do you say that?" and very seldom can anyone offer anything more "Because it is!" I make it clear that the line is offensive and often that is enough in the moment. Other than that, I don't tolerate similar phrases from friends...
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    Apr 27, 2009 8:40 PM GMT
    If objects truly had sexual orientation/preference... then I would have a lot more stuff.

    Furthermore if objects truly had sexual orientation/preference... I would no longer feel the need to date. icon_razz.gif

    And... when someone does say, "That's so gay!" I usually shout back, "No - we wouldn't claim that for our team - clearly it's so hetero!"
  • dionysus

    Posts: 420

    Apr 27, 2009 8:43 PM GMT
    everytime my roommate says it, i look at him.

    really? it was gay? was it really gay? cuz personally, i thought it was soooo freaking straight!
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    Apr 27, 2009 8:57 PM GMT
    I dont like the term,it is used to devide into unequal parts.it is used to make gay people feel less than straights. i do not tolerate prejudice and stop it dead in its tracks and i dont just shrug it off as being o.k. to make fun of those silly fags.the only minority where it is still o.k.and can lead to violence against gays.
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    Apr 27, 2009 9:03 PM GMT
    Maybe we should encourage a new counter-phrase: "That's so straight!"

    What should it mean? Something associated with a nerd, a loser, a dunce, totally clueless, a bigoted right-winger? My Dark Side would be happy to see that happen. icon_twisted.gif

    But of course the real issue here is one of prejudice, and discrimination, and being hurtful and insensitive to others. So of course fighting fire with fire would be wrong in this case, because we would become no better than our opponents.

    But it WOULD make me smile just a little! icon_wink.gif