Out...But on the DL?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 26, 2009 3:44 AM GMT
    Why so many dudes claim to be OUT, yet have their pictures blocked?icon_eek.gif I'm confused with the whole down low discreet, and gay/out thing...hahahahaha, shed some light as to why dudes who are GAY and OUT, are choosing to block their pics. Is this the new version of LOW DOWN? icon_eek.gif
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    Apr 26, 2009 3:58 AM GMT
    some would rather have people know them in person and not show themselves on the pointless internet


    I really hate hearing "oh man, your theonslaught arent you"

    but i have more pics then an art museum
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    Apr 26, 2009 4:35 AM GMT
    I am out to a bunch of people, mainly my friends. But when it comes to my job, I keep that underwraps. I do not need them to make up some b.s. because they found out that I like cock.
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    Apr 26, 2009 4:48 AM GMT
    I am even more confused now lol...why would a so-called str8 person even be on website like this, unless, they were curious too?icon_lol.gif
  • alwaysonpoint

    Posts: 173

    Apr 26, 2009 7:47 AM GMT
    People are petty. I once had my face pictures stolen offline and sent to players on my university's football team. These gay guys got mad because I didn't like them and that was their payback. I was clueless about it for a long time. Ever since, I keep my face pictures private on gay sites. On facebook and myspace, I've found 2 fake profiles on each site of people using my face pictures...

    At the end of the day, it's our choice whether we reveal our faces our names, our numbers or anthing else personal. No one on this site is obligated to show anything. Of course, after interacting with someone, it is nice to put a face with the body and the words. At the end of the day, it's a privacy and discretion thing.
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    Apr 26, 2009 1:38 PM GMT
    I know some are concerned about their privacy. Back in the 90's I would get my own pict from someone else like once every 2 or 3 months. Always makes me chuckle when someone does it. Then it can be viewed as the possible start of identity theft also, eh?
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    Apr 26, 2009 2:04 PM GMT
    marlow said
    At the end of the day, it's our choice whether we reveal our faces our names, our numbers or anthing else personal. No one on this site is obligated to show anything. Of course, after interacting with someone, it is nice to put a face with the body and the words.

    I agree completely. I have no problem sharing my face pics with anyone I get to know here. But I get to choose.
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    Apr 26, 2009 2:11 PM GMT
    wait, global...you have a face?

    GODDAMMIT!! I thought we were actually talking to a rubik's cube from the future (and his 'handler' there in the background).

    SON OF A BITCH! And I've been taking all your advice cause I thought you were a superbrain from the year 3215.

    well, I agree with you on this thread even if you are merely a human from this time period.
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    Apr 26, 2009 2:14 PM GMT
    There are folks who have low esteem, or multiple realities (their real one and others that they use on The Internet, in church, etc.)

    Some folks, more than you might think, have personality disorders: bipolar, borderline personality, low self esteem, anorexia, self-loathing, religious conflicts, and so on.

    Sometimes folks have multiple identities on The Internet, or they steal someone's identity, or they're parrallelized by mental illness that keeps them living in fear.

    Here on Real Jock, we've caught one guy who morphed his pictures, juices up, and lies about it all. We've exposed him, too, because folks like that are dangerous to others. It's really pretty disgusting.

    If someone leads multiple lives the best advice is distance: between you, and them.

    If someone can't be honest about something basic as their appearance, or as simple as sexuality, or if they won't be honest about their lifestyle, common sense says to LEAVE THEM ALONE. Run, Will Robinson, run. Life is to short to deal with crazies.

    As a general rule, if someone is "quitting", "just out", or "discreet", they're flags for larger, underlying, disorders. RUN.

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    Apr 26, 2009 2:23 PM GMT
    tommysguns2000 saidwait, global...you have a face?

    GODDAMMIT!! I thought we were actually talking to a rubik's cube from the future (and his 'handler' there in the background).

    SON OF A BITCH! And I've been taking all your advice cause I thought you were a superbrain from the year 3215.

    This is all true, but I was hoping to maintain my cover. I guess you've figured it out though.

    By the way, congratulations on your big achievement in 2013! icon_wink.gif
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    Apr 26, 2009 3:46 PM GMT
    marlow saidPeople are petty. I once had my face pictures stolen offline and sent to players on my university's football team. These gay guys got mad because I didn't like them and that was their payback. I was clueless about it for a long time. Ever since, I keep my face pictures private on gay sites. On facebook and myspace, I've found 2 fake profiles on each site of people using my face pictures...

    At the end of the day, it's our choice whether we reveal our faces our names, our numbers or anthing else personal. No one on this site is obligated to show anything. Of course, after interacting with someone, it is nice to put a face with the body and the words. At the end of the day, it's a privacy and discretion thing.



    True, but if u r trying to get wit someone on a website, common sense is that u un-block a face pic, RIGHT AWAY. Now gettin back to the topic, my question is: Why are dudes who are Gay and OUT, blocking their pics, u said bcuz of pic thefts, but i think of something else...lol! I read profiles, where dudes are only looking to hook up, have no HIV status, or role in da bed...is this a new game on GAY websites? lolicon_eek.gif
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    Apr 26, 2009 3:48 PM GMT

    Some folks, more than you might think, have personality disorders: bipolar, borderline personality, low self esteem, anorexia, self-loathing, religious conflicts, and so on.

    Sometimes folks have multiple identities on The Internet, or they steal someone's identity, or they're parrallelized by mental illness that keeps them living in fear.

    Here on Real Jock, we've caught one guy who morphed his pictures, juices up, and lies about it all. We've exposed him, too, because folks like that are dangerous to others. It's really pretty disgusting.

    If someone leads multiple lives the best advice is distance: between you, and them.

    If someone can't be honest about something basic as their appearance, or as simple as sexuality, or if they won't be honest about their lifestyle, common sense says to LEAVE THEM ALONE. Run, Will Robinson, run. Life is to short to deal with crazies.

    As a general rule, if someone is "quitting", "just out", or "discreet", they're flags for larger, underlying, disorders. RUN.

    [/quote]

    I couldn't agree more yo...lol
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    Apr 26, 2009 10:18 PM GMT
    A personality disorder? Wow...that is rich. I have my pic unlocked for people when I get to know them. It is the same as nudity shots, some people keep theirs private. Do they also have a personality disorder because they don't have their dick out on display for everybody to admire?

    And LOW DOWN...that's hilarious.
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    Apr 26, 2009 10:39 PM GMT
    My reason for not having my face out there for display is because of my work. I have many contacts and clients/students all over the place and I just don't want to show up at a meeting or in front of a class and have someone say "Hey, you are on RJ." It has nothing to do with not being out or having a personality disorder. For the most part I send my face pic along with any emails that I send out on RJ and am happy to unlock it for anybody that I chat with. Just a preference.
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    Apr 26, 2009 10:49 PM GMT
    There are people who just don't feel the need to be out to everyone they come across and really is it anyone else business especially online.? Why is this such a topic anyway? Why do people feel the need to know why a person chooses not to advertise their appearance online? Is it that big of a deal?

    A picture is worth a 1000 words (so they say) but nothing beats the real thing.

    I thought this topic was gonna be more about why do gay men use the term "out" but keep things on the DL, not some rant about why people choose not to have pix up their profile. That's pretty much their choice just like it's your choice on whether or not you want to associate with them.

    A person who blocks their pix or has no pix at all is no different then a person who has regular pix and private pix. They both choose who they want to share them with so again I'm amazed as to why this is an issue. Just deal with it and move I say.

    If you wanna know more about the person then try getting to know them and if they choose to show what they look like then cool and if not then that's just something you are gonna have to deal with because at the end of the day you really have no control over the situation other then just not wanting to associate yourself with them. I fail to see how it is a personality disorder. That's classic and original.

    And now you know.
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    Apr 26, 2009 10:52 PM GMT
    masculine31 saidWhy so many dudes claim to be OUT, yet have their pictures blocked?icon_eek.gif I'm confused with the whole down low discreet, and gay/out thing...hahahahaha, shed some light as to why dudes who are GAY and OUT, are choosing to block their pics. Is this the new version of LOW DOWN? icon_eek.gif

    You are confusing being out in our local communities, versus online privacy over the entire world. I am very out locally, but guarded when it comes to the Internet, having been hurt by it before.

    As we say in the US, you are comparing apples & oranges.
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    Apr 26, 2009 10:54 PM GMT
    Pears to pinapples
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    Apr 26, 2009 10:58 PM GMT
    wadawg saidMy reason for not having my face out there for display is because of my work. I have many contacts and clients/students all over the place

    And I think some people who live in large, politically progressive cities often forget that much of the country is still a hostile place toward gays and retribution sometimes includes everything from the loss of a job (bad) to physical violence (really bad) and repeated property damage.

    Here in Tennessee there are cases on the news every now and then of all three instances. And Tennessee isn't even the worst of the backward states.
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    Apr 26, 2009 11:01 PM GMT

    LOL, you don't even know what you are missing!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 26, 2009 11:47 PM GMT
    I find that lots of out men do not post face photos because they do not want their friends or their boyfriends to know what they're 'up to.'

    Or, the work thing.
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    Apr 27, 2009 2:48 AM GMT
    Red_Vespa said
    masculine31 saidWhy so many dudes claim to be OUT, yet have their pictures blocked?icon_eek.gif I'm confused with the whole down low discreet, and gay/out thing...hahahahaha, shed some light as to why dudes who are GAY and OUT, are choosing to block their pics. Is this the new version of LOW DOWN? icon_eek.gif

    You are confusing being out in our local communities, versus online privacy over the entire world. I am very out locally, but guarded when it comes to the Internet, having been hurt by it before.

    As we say in the US, you are comparing apples & oranges.


    Are u saying people with pics on display vs. people without pics for display are apples compared with oranges? lol I think ur right bro/sis but i will get back to my question i asked: Why do GAY people, who are out, have locked/blocked pics?
    I have found that guys blocking their pics have turned out to be liars, game players, with huge imaginations lol, its always a waste of time or total disappointment. I can totally see why a guy who is not out, has locked pics. Nine times out of ten people will know if ur GAY or not. If ur choosing to lock bcuz u lied about sumthin, then dats a whole nutha ball parkicon_lol.gif
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    Apr 27, 2009 5:06 AM GMT
    Global_Citizen said
    wadawg saidMy reason for not having my face out there for display is because of my work. I have many contacts and clients/students all over the place

    And I think some people who live in large, politically progressive cities often forget that much of the country is still a hostile place toward gays and retribution sometimes includes everything from the loss of a job (bad) to physical violence (really bad) and repeated property damage.

    Here in Tennessee there are cases on the news every now and then of all three instances. And Tennessee isn't even the worst of the backward states.


    Not quite my point, at least in my case. Those i work with know I am gay. I just don't need clients to have seen my profile and know what i do in my personal life, including reading posts i have made on different forumns. As far as violence goes, I can take em... icon_biggrin.gif

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 27, 2009 7:29 PM GMT
    I don't really get it either. If you're out, you're out. If you're not, you're not. If you don't wanna be embarrassed in 'real' life (don't get that distinction either - all life is 'real') then don't say/do/post things online that would bite you in the ass if you were confronted with it in offline settings.

    I think the bigger issue is that many guys conduct themselves online in ways that they are ashamed of/embarrassed about:

    1. Acting like dicks
    2. Saying things they know they shouldn't and wouldn't in face-to-face conversation
    3. Posting public pictures of themselves that they'd never pose for in a room full of strangers or let their mothers see

    The logic (loose association) that follows is that it's ok to do so because it's 'only online' and not 'real' ..

    But in this day and age, 'private' = who you really are/what you really look like and public = body/private parts. One of the many great ironies of the internet.
  • alwaysonpoint

    Posts: 173

    Apr 28, 2009 6:32 AM GMT
    masculine31 said
    marlow saidPeople are petty. I once had my face pictures stolen offline and sent to players on my university's football team. These gay guys got mad because I didn't like them and that was their payback. I was clueless about it for a long time. Ever since, I keep my face pictures private on gay sites. On facebook and myspace, I've found 2 fake profiles on each site of people using my face pictures...

    At the end of the day, it's our choice whether we reveal our faces our names, our numbers or anthing else personal. No one on this site is obligated to show anything. Of course, after interacting with someone, it is nice to put a face with the body and the words. At the end of the day, it's a privacy and discretion thing.



    True, but if u r trying to get wit someone on a website, common sense is that u un-block a face pic, RIGHT AWAY.


    It is not "common sense," and there is no un-written rule that obligates us to show our face pictures. You say, "If you're trying to get with someone on a website," but what If you're not trying to get with anyone? I know I'm all the way over here in Iraq and I'm not trying to get with people I communicate with on here. Even if you are trying to get with someone, no one is obligated to reveal a face, phone number, dick, ass, job description, bank account, annual income or anything else with anyone from here. After all, we are ALL strangers from the internet!

    I know I don't like to talk to people with no kinds of picture at all...but at least with body shots, you can hope, not EXPECT, that the other person will be comfortabe and willing to share his face and other persoal information with you as you two get getter acquaitned.
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    Apr 28, 2009 6:44 AM GMT
    theonslaught saidI really hate hearing "oh man, your theonslaught arent you"


    You didn't hate when I said it Sat night? icon_twisted.gif