depression

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    Apr 26, 2009 6:19 AM GMT
    I wrote and deleted this post like 5 times in a row but I just had t do it. How do you fight the side of depression when you loose motivation for everything. I dont want to go to my gym school, work, have a bf, sex,... or really anything. I cant shake this funk. I was doing so well for the first time in over 4 yrs I was truly happy and liked who i was as a person.... but now only a month later.... I have lost all drive for everything. What do you all do to help ?
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    Apr 26, 2009 7:23 AM GMT
    Sometimes "just do it" is the only way out, but seeking help is always a valid option. Since you said "I have lost all drive for everything," you should definitely find out if medication would help your situation.
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    Apr 26, 2009 7:28 AM GMT
    I was diagnosed at 14 or 15 with clinical depression (my father has it as well) and was on medications until I was 17. At 17 I went off the meds and thus far, have had no serious relapses...I've found that there are many things in everyday life that can help:

    Well for one, talking about it is a big first step. Reaching out can be the last thing you feel like doing, but is an important start. In my own experience, professional help is nothing to be sneered at. I've had it, and it did help quite a bit. It can really lend clarity to the confusing mental battles one wages in depression.

    Secondly, being with friends or family who love and care for you always helps. Letting them know what's going on gives you really important allies against a fairly confusing and uncertain struggle.

    Thirdly, little creature comforts can help. Music, movies, activities, and pastimes you enjoy can really help you take your mental focus elsewhere and let you be yourself at ease.

    Fourthly, it takes energy to get out of it. The lethargy of depression is a self-defeating monster, in my own experience. Spending the energy to get up and go play soccer or hang out with friends is well worth the investment. The more time spent with other people whose company you enjoy, the better.

    Finally, doing stuff that is new and unfamiliar can also be very good. If you're stuck in a routine, shaking it up can be a good and simple remedy.

    Hope this helps somewhat.

  • training_guy

    Posts: 270

    Apr 26, 2009 7:29 AM GMT
    Medication is so over-prescribed it's frightening & should only be used as a last resort IMO. Try to establish the cause of the problem rather than just treat the symptoms....

    There's lots of self help groups out there etc

    ... & it's well known that exercise is very beneficial for treating depression.
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    Apr 26, 2009 7:49 AM GMT
    gym_dude saidMedication is so over-prescribed it's frightening & should only be used as a last resort IMO. Try to establish the cause of the problem rather than just treat the symptoms....

    There's lots of self help groups out there etc

    ... & it's well known that exercise is very beneficial for treating depression.


    I agree with this. Medications scare the bejeezus out of me. Northrunner has a lot of good thoughts and suggestions as we;;.

    I think to defeat the monster you have to recognize when it's speaking to you, and separate "it" from yourself. I know it sounds crazy because it is you, but it's the side of you that's not well, and it's not really "you" persay.

    If I think to myself "I want to lay in bed all day." I'll check in with reality and what I REALLY want to do is get up, open the blinds and some windows. Then I want to get out into the sunshine for a run, or a walk with the dogs etc. You get my point. Sometimes you just have to fake it til you make it. The monster while cunning isn't very bright and is easily fooled. The one thing I've learned about the self defeating voice is that it has no rationale, and it's a coward. It's primary purpose is to suck the life out of you. The second something positive comes to light it runs and hides like a vampire at daybreak.

    It sucks, but it makes you stronger if you make the right choices. Life is worth living, and not just surviving. There's a huge difference so do everything you can to feel alive. It's well worth it.
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    Apr 26, 2009 8:02 AM GMT
    yeah recently i lost it all... it sucks and I miss who i lost but u can only try enough before you realize they dont care about you as much as you.

    Oh well....

    now i feel like doing lines of a midgets ass... ...
  • training_guy

    Posts: 270

    Apr 26, 2009 8:09 AM GMT
    Not necessarily. Bipolar is characterised by "rapid cycling" episodes of mania & then depression....
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    Apr 26, 2009 8:10 AM GMT
    BJJMMAFighter saidI wrote and deleted this post like 5 times in a row but I just had t do it. How do you fight the side of depression when you loose motivation for everything. I dont want to go to my gym school, work, have a bf, sex,... or really anything. I cant shake this funk. I was doing so well for the first time in over 4 yrs I was truly happy and liked who i was as a person.... but now only a month later.... I have lost all drive for everything. What do you all do to help ?

    Maybe you're just bored? Maybe you need a change of environment? Have you considered taking a break and traveling for a bit?
  • junknemesis

    Posts: 682

    Apr 26, 2009 8:15 AM GMT
    I am Clinical Depressant AND Bi-Polar. I don't take meds, but when I find myself falling to depression I call on the help of my friends. If caught early enough, and I take action aginst it often enough, the depression fades and I am brought back up to normal. If I start to spike manic, my friends notice it and they have istructions on how to bring me down.

    I can only tell you what I do, as I don't know your situation. utI would cal your friends for assistance on motivation if you can. But the problem is that you have to be the one to make the choice to let them affect you and how you feel.

    If I am in an Abyssal Depression, not even my friends can help because I don't want them to help. I have to shake it on my own. It's so hard, but I have done it.

    If something can make you laugh, encourage it. Laughter is Anathema to depression. It is for me anyway.
  • baldone

    Posts: 826

    Apr 26, 2009 8:21 AM GMT
    in the last year i have divorced after 30 years, come out, filed bankruptcy and lost a house...work for a gm dealer so not sure of job security..i am trying to hold on with out meds but the drive is just not there..weight has skyrocketed so yeah i too wonder how to pull out of this funk that i am in without the use of meds
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    Apr 26, 2009 8:21 AM GMT
    some told me today

    bi-sexual = bi-polar.



    Bull shit.... but ive met a few bi guys that go from emotion to emotion and cant decide what they want.


    BJJMMAfighter, you need to surround yourself with good people. try something different to make you happy.

    What is one thing that you've always wanted to do but havent? Do that!
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    Apr 26, 2009 9:59 AM GMT
    I get tired of reading over and over that medications are over prescribed. That is a subjective statement made without data or evidence by people who most likely do not know what they are talking about.

    Make sure to separate opinions from facts and those who present opinions as facts.

    Is it possible people are being over prescribed with medication? Yes, especially anti-biotics from the emergency room. Psychotropic drugs... are they over prescribed? Once again, possibly, but I feel drugs prescribed by most responsible psychiatrists are justified. Psychotropic drugs prescribed by PCPs may be excessive though.

    Drugs shouldn't scare people.

    I'm on a drug that could possibly kill me if I eat pepperoni pizza (seriously). I was on a medication which required weekly blood tests to make sure my WBC count hadn’t drastically fallen. I have been on medications which made my appetite/weight sky-rocket.

    But what is the alternative? I could NOT take my meds, try to fight severe depression by doing other things. I also probably could have died.

    I have learned through research, personal experience, and talking to many professionals that fighting mental illness is most successful when medication is used along with psychotherapy (big surprise).

    I personally believe to fight mental illness (especially severe and clinical) you need four key treatments/support systems:

    1. Psychotherapy with a trusted Ph.D./L.C.S.W./etc.
    2. Medication prescribed by a psychiatrist if possible
    3. Support from family and/or friends

    ... and most important...

    4. Personal motivation: You have to WANT to get better.

    This last one was the hardest form me.... and took me 6 years to find.

    Is medication the only answer? No. But clinical depression is more than just surface issues-- and more than **finding the reason why you are sad and fixing it WILL heal your depression.**

    Clinical depression is more complex than surface issues most of the time. A greater depth of understanding and treatment is needed.
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    Apr 26, 2009 10:04 AM GMT

    May I suggest 3 things: 1. Find someone you trust and talk. It may be that some professional 'talk help' would be good too. 2. Do some exercise every day. Start small just walk for 30 mins everyday and build up from there. 3. Don't dismiss drugs - they have a key place when you are so down that you just cannot begin to get out of it and put the things in place which will give you long term support.
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    Apr 26, 2009 10:05 AM GMT
    cjcscuba1984: Your post makes me icon_smile.gif
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    Apr 26, 2009 10:54 AM GMT
    I suffer depression which is a real bitch.. I also get like you, sorta feel very bleh about life and everything in general, I could leave everything and just forget about it all.. however, I've found in the last few years now that if I push through, just keep doing the things I know I like doing, that happiness just starts coming back, it may take me a couple of days or even a week or more, but if I just keep doing it I start feeling happier again..

    a couple of things that might do it though, say, bord, hunger (I get really down and grumpy when I'm trying to lose weight) something happening that you can't stop but don't like, not seeing results as you'd like and so on and so on.

    These things are normal though for a lot of people and your body is probably following a cycle like mine tends too.. just keep up with everything as much as possible and work your way through it.
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Apr 26, 2009 11:32 AM GMT
    Depression is a real illness as much as is Rheumatoid arthritis or diabetes
    and as these illnesses can have flare ups or relapses so can depression

    Depression is best combated by a combination of oral medication and therapy
    without either of those two you would be selling yourself short
    There might have been a precipitating cause to you new symptoms or not
    but it's important to get the help you need
    Get to your doctor ....
    Do the things that bring you happiness ... you may have to force yourself the first few times
    surround yourself with supportive people
    If there are situations that make you anxious or sad make note of them and avoid them
    Best of luck ... but make sure you get to the support help that you need
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    Apr 26, 2009 1:37 PM GMT
    Force yourself to go to BJJ practice even if you don't want to. It's not just training, it's social interaction, and you'll feel much better about yourself when you have good days on the mats.
  • training_guy

    Posts: 270

    Apr 26, 2009 1:46 PM GMT
    cjcscuba1984 saidI get tired of reading over and over that medications are over prescribed. That is a subjective statement made without data or evidence by people who most likely do not know what they are talking about.



    If you say so, i'm a mental health physiotherapist, I know what i'm talking about thanks. Having to rely on medication at 20 is just sad.
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    Apr 26, 2009 2:10 PM GMT



    Cjcscuba1984,

    Here's a link for you

    http://www.cnn.com/2007/HEALTH/07/09/antidepressants/index.html


    We think that at 20, highs and lows are a part of life that one navigates, some easily some not.

    We also think that without a thorough pre-screening the drugs are getting mis-applied. We think that your experience certainly justifies the drugs as you've had very professional and astute care. That's not what happens with many. 170 million prescriptions for antidepressants in 2005 in the US alone? Ay-yi-yi...


    http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/116066.php


    HeyBJMMAFighter, Find a good psychologist (not a psychiatrist - no offense, but they tend to pass out psycho-pharmaceuticals like candy) and let him do an assessment. He can't prescribe drugs, but if he thinks you need them he'll tell you which ones and send you to a Doc for them.


    Wishing you a happy and inspired life!

    -Doug and Bill of meninlove
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    Apr 26, 2009 2:19 PM GMT
    gym_dude said
    cjcscuba1984 saidI get tired of reading over and over that medications are over prescribed. That is a subjective statement made without data or evidence by people who most likely do not know what they are talking about.



    If you say so, i'm a mental health physiotherapist, I know what i'm talking about thanks. Having to rely on medication at 20 is just sad.

    Although I don't like to be judgmental, I do agree.

    In every instance of talking with someone who's depressed, it seems like they might be able to do something to improve their situation and in turn lessen their depression. So many times, it seems like people hate their job, feel lonely, drink too much, eat too much, don't exercise, etc. but do nothing to change the situation.

    I realize it can be said that all of these things could be caused by depression, but it's a case of which came first, chicken or egg.
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    Apr 26, 2009 3:42 PM GMT
    gym_dude said
    cjcscuba1984 saidI get tired of reading over and over that medications are over prescribed. That is a subjective statement made without data or evidence by people who most likely do not know what they are talking about.



    If you say so, i'm a mental health physiotherapist, I know what i'm talking about thanks. Having to rely on medication at 20 is just sad.


    As a fellow mental health psychotherapist, I'd say that dismissing medication at the age of 20 is cold. Saying "you are 20 and there are natural ups and downs. just buck up" is like telling a 5 year old who dropped their ice cream cone "it doesn't matter." To them it is the world. Empathy is understanding the weight of and the difficulty someone is going through without trivializing who they are or where they are at in their life. Medication may help. I can't say for certain with knowing more information.

    Asking for help is a really hard thing. With asking, you are admitting you have a problem, and also putting yourself in a vulnerable place to not be helped and to feel more alone if help doesn't come. I just want to acknowledge the courage you took to post this, the sixth attempt, to say what is bothering you.
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    Apr 26, 2009 3:53 PM GMT
    May I suggest:

    ultramind_solution.jpg

    I saw this book in the bookstore just as I was looking for someway to throw off the last vestiges of my depression from the cancer therapy.

    The first 280 pages describe body and brain interactions and how your brain can be affected by your body's condition.

    I am just starting week 3 of eating as the book describes and I am feeling better and better. It is quite amazing.

    I also follow the prescriptions of getting out in the bright sun, exercise, and socialize.

    Today is a quandary tho. I have been asked out to dinner...good, score one for socializing....but the menu has foods that I cant eat. So what do I do?
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    Apr 26, 2009 3:53 PM GMT
    Wut might work for some, doesn't work for others...My advice is just to fight through it, whenever all else fails...use the power of PRAYERicon_wink.gif
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    Apr 26, 2009 3:54 PM GMT



    Nicely said BradySF! "Asking for help is a really hard thing. With asking, you are admitting you have a problem, and also putting yourself in a vulnerable place to not be helped and to feel more alone if help doesn't come. I just want to acknowledge the courage you took to post this, the sixth attempt, to say what is bothering you."

    Our own comment about being 20 and learning to navigate the ups and downs is to try and put a normalcy to feeling depressed or lethargic emotionally and physically. Feeling depressed is not the same as being clinically depressed.

    We notice a growing trend that any unhappiness is unnatural and must be treated. When I (Doug) hit down periods in my twenties, Mom would often say, " Now Doug, without sadness how do you know when you're happy? Some of the greatest writings came from authors feeling bad."

    Our OP doesn't know if it's truly clinical depression or not yet. So, for now, we're taking the view that it could be circumstance or environment, diet or personal events bringing on the blahs.
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    Apr 26, 2009 4:13 PM GMT
    Thanks MenInLove. You are correct in that we don't know if it is clinical depression or not. You are right that it could be circumstantial, environmental, relational, dietary or something else causing it. We don't know right now, and we might never know. Having struggled with diagnosing others I can tell you it is more challenging than it seems. Lots of more information is needed here to know if it is clinical or not. What we do know is that he is struggling with something that saps his motivation and his desire to enjoy life. It will take lots of time to attach a label to that, and that's only if he wants a label.

    Seeing happiness as unnatural and requiring treatment is similar to seeing depression as developmental and needing a reframe. Both are ways of addressing the emotion and wanting to change it, get rid of it, or make it productive. It is the same operating schema of "don't like this, do this or think this way instead." I'm guilty of using that on myself and others, because sometimes it works and it is pretty damn effective. Sometimes it is felt as distant, being talked down to, dismissed, pushed aside.

    I see depression as miserable and consuming, without a sense of end in sight. I like to stay with that affect when others are feeling that. I don't want them to feel alone, dismissed, or pushed aside, in their feelings. I've yet to encounter someone that felt seen when told to "exercise more."