Age differences

  • dannyboy1101

    Posts: 977

    Apr 27, 2009 3:22 AM GMT
    I know it always depends on the individual, but in theory, how much age difference do you think you could have with another guy but still have a functional relationship? Not just sex, but some sort of serious relationship.
  • dannyboy1101

    Posts: 977

    Apr 27, 2009 3:26 AM GMT
    I used to be all about guys my age and older, but now as I get older there are some guys younger than I am that I would date. I think 23 could be ok, but I don't think I'd find anyone that would fit with me younger than that (then again who knows?).

    As for older, for a real functional relationship, I don't think I could do any difference larger than about 10 years (like 37). I just think it would be awkward beyond that.

    Don't get me wrong, I find plenty of guys outside those ages attractive, but I just don't think that they would be someone I could potentially spend my life with. Never say never, though.
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    Apr 27, 2009 3:33 AM GMT
    I try to keep it in -5/+10 year range. But that's just a rough guide. There are exceptions. icon_wink.gif
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    Apr 27, 2009 1:49 PM GMT
    I would say about 15 max.
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    Apr 27, 2009 3:40 PM GMT
    I'd say 35 years older is my max!
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    Apr 27, 2009 3:43 PM GMT
    12 years either way but it really depends on the guy. The older I get the age difference narrows. I am finding the age of the older guy is getting closer to my own age but the 12 year mark sticks for the younger. Any difference larger than 12 starts to be to difficult because of perspective and common ground.
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    Apr 27, 2009 3:44 PM GMT
    i dont beleive age difference is important but i do think the states of mind have to be the same. it sux cuz theres not alot of gay guys around so theres almost always an age difference when i date a guy
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    Apr 27, 2009 3:47 PM GMT
    dannyboy1101 said

    As for older, for a real functional relationship, I don't think I could do any difference larger than about 10 years (like 37). I just think it would be awkward beyond that.



    "awkward" meaning what?
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    Apr 27, 2009 3:52 PM GMT
    This is always an interesting question and what I've observed is that younger guys (meaning in 20s) tend to reach out further for older guys than guys who are in their 30s and 40s. As I guy in my 50s, I have 20 somethings contacting me regularly but have very few 30s and 40s. I think as you mature you tend to narrow that desire for age difference. Just look at the answers you get, seems the 30/40 group limits the span more than younger guys. Generally speaking of course and my opinion only.
  • Sk8Tex

    Posts: 738

    Apr 27, 2009 4:53 PM GMT
    Personally I have always preferred the men to the boys, but I would have to say no more than a 20 year difference, even then it is pushing the envelope quiet a bit and they had better be something special ;)
  • safety43_mma1...

    Posts: 4251

    Apr 27, 2009 4:58 PM GMT
    who cares about age it is only a number. it comes down to what a person thinks i guess. i think there is nothing sexyier then a old man 40 to 50 is fine by me.icon_biggrin.gif


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    Apr 27, 2009 5:00 PM GMT
    Around my age or 5 to 10 years (approx.) younger is about the norm for me. Age doesn't matter to me, so much as a guy's integrity, personality, attitude, outlook on life, goals, accomplishments, level headed thinking, etc.
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    Apr 27, 2009 5:13 PM GMT
    clearly it depends on the persons involved, but i once heard mention of a basic mathematical formula for working this out...

    appropriate age difference = x - 1/2x + 7 (where x = your age in years)

    can't say i totally agree with it, but if all you're after is a rough guide, it's a decent place to start.
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    Apr 27, 2009 5:20 PM GMT
    Jockbod48 saidAround my age or 5 to 10 years (approx.) younger is about the norm for me. Age doesn't matter to me, so much as a guy's integrity, personality, attitude, outlook on life, goals, accomplishments, level headed thinking, etc.



    I totally agree, age shouldn't matter when it comes to someone you like/love. As long as they are a beneficial addition to your life, and you to theirs, age shouldn’t play that much of a critical factor. Because, when you think about it being gay/homosexual we are breaking a "norm" place by society and therefore are limited to whom we prefer to date, so why limit it even more with petty reasons such as; age, color, race, height, weight, body type, hair style, etc.
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    Apr 27, 2009 5:51 PM GMT
    I don't think there is an established guideline and there really shouldn't be. It all depends on what works for each individual.
  • sfnicolas

    Posts: 121

    Apr 27, 2009 6:38 PM GMT
    my bf and i are 20 years apart, though i don't think about the age difference when i am with him (he's a very mature/old soul of 23, and i am a less mature/youthful soul of 43)

    so, there ya go...i did not plan this or look for it...it just came along and we are runnin' with it (we met on Realjock, how about that?!)

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    Apr 27, 2009 6:43 PM GMT
    He shouldn't be old enough to have fathered me and I shouldn't be old enough to father him. So depending on when you grew hair on your balls, 12-15 years. I mean, I don't want a father and I don't want a child, nor do I want to be either of those for someone else.
  • LVJim

    Posts: 45

    Apr 27, 2009 7:21 PM GMT
    For friendship interests and spirit are most important; being in-tuned with music, job, etc. might be important. Friendship is more circumstantial than falling in love. Love - falling in love; now we are in the realm of the gods and their wild plans for us. It's possible to set parameters for friendship but falling in love is out of our control - that is where we have to be... then... with that certain person. That is "Life" taking us on our journey...I'm 19 and you're 70...incidental, means nothing. People who deeply touch eachother; who can move eachother to the next stage of life are fated and not bound by any rules and regulations.
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    Apr 27, 2009 7:26 PM GMT
    well my boyfriend is 37 and im 19, thats 18 years and we are going on a yr and its great so i think its the connexion and not the numbers
  • dannyboy1101

    Posts: 977

    Apr 28, 2009 3:04 AM GMT
    Looknrnd said
    dannyboy1101 said

    As for older, for a real functional relationship, I don't think I could do any difference larger than about 10 years (like 37). I just think it would be awkward beyond that.



    "awkward" meaning what?


    I suppose I would feel strange dating a guy my parents' age. Priorities would have to be quite different between us. I guess I would always think that he would relate better to my parents than to me because they probably would have more in common.
  • dannyboy1101

    Posts: 977

    Apr 28, 2009 3:06 AM GMT
    safety43 saidwho cares about age it is only a number. it comes down to what a person thinks i guess. i think there is nothing sexyier then a old man 40 to 50 is fine by me.icon_biggrin.gif




    Well what about a guy retiring while he's dating a college student? I think that might go beyond numbers. That's like Anna Nicole-style.
  • dannyboy1101

    Posts: 977

    Apr 28, 2009 3:07 AM GMT
    rebound_ace saidclearly it depends on the persons involved, but i once heard mention of a basic mathematical formula for working this out...

    appropriate age difference = x - 1/2x + 7 (where x = your age in years)

    can't say i totally agree with it, but if all you're after is a rough guide, it's a decent place to start.


    Yay I can date a 6 yr old! Or does that just reflect the lowest age one should date (for me a 20 yr old)?

    I had a friend who would average his parents' age with his own to know the upper bound.
  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    Apr 28, 2009 3:10 AM GMT
    I've recently gone out with some guys in the upper forties and one who was even fifty, and I didn't mind it at all. Nothing serious developed, and I am not sure how long a relationship of that sort can sustain itself, but in the time being, I would have definitely pursued something with them.
  • silverfox

    Posts: 3178

    Apr 28, 2009 3:27 AM GMT
    SanDiegoNewbie saidPersonally I have always preferred the men to the boys, but I would have to say no more than a 20 year difference, even then it is pushing the envelope quiet a bit and they had better be something special ;)


    Whoa that was close.

    Just barely made the cut.

    icon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gif
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    Apr 28, 2009 4:14 AM GMT
    i think that common sense rules, but in general, men that are preoccupied with these differences are usually the ones that aren't dating anyone at all. for years.... i approach this stuff from the point of view of "what if i had only 10 years left", and judge my actions on that. usually it makes all the cliches fly out of the window.