MARKOFF ALSO AFTER GAY MEN ...Not Limited to Women IDEAS FOR SAFE GAY INTERNET MEETING?

  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Apr 27, 2009 12:30 PM GMT
    A report on NBC's TODAY Show, stated that Phillip Markoff, the 22 year old
    med student held in the slaying of 1 woman and the robbing of two (and other victims suspected) off of Craigs List, also targeted gay men....
    The report included an interview with a man who had received e-mails from Markoff, including a torso shot, and steamy discussion. While the suggestion was made that the two meet, they didn't, according to the unidentified man who was interviewed.

    Authorities now fear that there may be gay victims as well as women.


    I found this video on Youtube regarding safe gay internet meeting.
    interesting....


  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 27, 2009 3:52 PM GMT
    Well, this changed everything! icon_rolleyes.gif

    People, stop meeting strangers for sex if you care about your life. If it's not STD's its serial killers. Come on!

    As for meeting strangers for relationships, never go back to their place or allow them into yours until you've been seen in a public establishment (i.e. restaurant, etc...and pay with a CC for a record), and even better if you can meet an acquaintance/friend first. If you cant confirm the person is who you think he is, at least let there be a paper trail time line for the police, looking for your corpse, to use.
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    Apr 27, 2009 4:07 PM GMT
    Looknrnd saidWell, this changed everything! icon_rolleyes.gif

    People, stop meeting strangers for sex if you care about your life. If it's not STD's its serial killers. Come on!

    As for meeting strangers for relationships, never go back to their place or allow them into yours until you've been seen in a public establishment (i.e. restaurant, etc...and pay with a CC for a record), and even better if you can meet an acquaintance/friend first. If you cant confirm the person is who you think he is, at least let there be a paper trail time line for the police, looking for your corpse, to use.


    You're being a little sensational.

    Yes, there are things one can do to protect oneself. But while we hear about the rare nut-case, we never hear about the tens of thousands (hundreds of thousands?) of successful encounters.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 27, 2009 4:13 PM GMT
    This sort of things has been happening since...well, since people started having casual sex.

    This guy clearly was a wackjob. Worse, he needed money!

    You can be careful, take every precaution, meet in public, wait until the 3rd date for sex, etc etc, but you cannot stop the crazy.
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    Apr 27, 2009 4:17 PM GMT
    Are you kidding the first initial meeting should always be in a public place and you should create a paper trail. You don't know this person out side of emails, texting and maybe a telephone conversation. Even when you do get to the point that you are at his place and he is at yours, you should always let a third party know what's going on. You should be a phone call to establish contact with the third party. I would imagine the other guy would take the same safety precuations. Not to do so it just madness and reckless. Safety First! I'm quite sure that there are a number of cases of men getting assulted that go un-reported when it involves two males. icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Apr 27, 2009 4:25 PM GMT
    NakedDevil said

    You're being a little sensational.

    Yes, there are things one can do to protect oneself. But while we hear about the rare nut-case, we never hear about the tens of thousands (hundreds of thousands?) of successful encounters.


    sen⋅sa⋅tion⋅al⋅ism
       /sɛnˈseɪʃənlˌɪzəm/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [sen-sey-shuh-nl-iz-uhm] Show IPA
    –noun
    1. subject matter, language, or style producing or designed to produce startling or thrilling impressions or to excite and please vulgar taste.


    I don't think I'm being sensational, I think I'm being practical. I'm just saying that to expect a total stranger to turn out to be the best thing ever and totally safe would be naive and foolish. No wonder these people got killed, they weren't thinking...with their brain at least.

    I'm not saying to not meet people offline - I do it all the time. Of course, I don't do the NSA thing. I do think, make sure I tell somebody the alleged name of the person I'm meeting, where, and make sure there is a paper trail. I'm cautious, as we all should be. And, I'm saying that not doing so is just plain stupid.

    NEWSFLASH: We don't hear a lot of positive news these days as the news media are sensationalists. Geee, let me come on here and say how wonderful it's going to be instead of what people should do to protect themselves. No thanks. Just be happy I'm not recommending they carry a .22 with them.
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    Apr 27, 2009 4:30 PM GMT
    Not "sensational"? Well, "melodramatic" then;

    "People, stop meeting strangers for sex if you care about your life. If it's not STD's its serial killers."

    "...at least let there be a paper trail time line for the police, looking for your corpse, to use."

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    Apr 27, 2009 4:43 PM GMT
    That's a rule of thumb when you meet anyone in public or whatever. When I go a first date I make sure that at least one of my friends knows where I am. When we have gone out on a number of dates and if we progress that far that we want to have a more private date my friends know about that as well. How is that being melodramatic? It's called being safe. Just because one goes to ones house for date does not mean anything is going to happen. Sometimes a dinner date is just that a dinner date.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 27, 2009 4:43 PM GMT
    That's a rule of thumb when you meet anyone in public or whatever. When I go a first date I make sure that at least one of my friends knows where I am. When we have gone out on a number of dates and if we progress that far that we want to have a more private date my friends know about that as well. How is that being melodramatic? It's called being safe. Just because one goes to ones house for date does not mean anything is going to happen. Sometimes a dinner date is just that a dinner date.
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    Apr 27, 2009 4:53 PM GMT
    NakedDevil saidNot "sensational"? Well, "melodramatic" then;

    "People, stop meeting strangers for sex if you care about your life. If it's not STD's its serial killers."

    "...at least let there be a paper trail time line for the police, looking for your corpse, to use."



    The story referenced is about people being killed. Excuse me for not sugar-coating it...icon_rolleyes.gif

    AND, I do think that if you're meeting strangers for sex that you aren't really cautious about your own life, which to some would infer a lack of care. I don't think people are bad for doing it. It's consensual and I'm not going to spout off about how it's wrong or anything. BUT, I do think to be surprised by getting an STD or ending up finding a wack-job is foolish and naive. If you're meeting strangers, you should be surprised to find something you weren't looking for or didn't want.

    I do actually make sure there is a trail. I don't want my family ending up on the news. I'd like to mention, it doesn't take any extra energy to do this. You just have to communicate with friends or family and pay with CC's. It's simple and can only help IF you end up with a NUT!

    I'm afraid I don't have a wonderful story for you, though I've made some friends. But, I did have to fight a guy off of me a couple years back. I've made simple choices, and on here recommendations, to ensure if I find another asshole and cant get him off of me that he at least wont get away with it. If I was raped and released, I would have something to back up a time line with the criminal for a case of some sort.

    I don't know where you're living, but I'm NOT living in CandyLand. We meet people online now and as a result I make informed decisions, choices, and don't worry about any of it BECAUSE I'm cautious. That's all I'm saying...
  • Aquanerd

    Posts: 845

    Apr 27, 2009 5:25 PM GMT
    Gay vs Straight; internet vs bar; casual sex vs buying an ipod; you need to be careful this day and age, but anyone that if changing now do to this specific nut job? Where have you been? There is always a risk.

    Remember "Looking for Mr. Goodbar?" For you young'uns, look it up on netflix or itunes.
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    Apr 27, 2009 5:28 PM GMT
    It's not like Markoff is/was the first killer to target gay men. Jeffrey Dahmer, anyone?

    Bottom line, it's all about common sense. Listen to your gut. Be relaxed but aware.
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    Apr 27, 2009 5:54 PM GMT
    This isn't the first time something like this has happened. A friend of mine was killed in Denver when he chatted with a guy on gay.com for ten minutes, invited him over for a drink, the guy turned out to be straight and looking for drug money and shot my friend. Luckily they caught the bastard a few weeks later after he was brought in for riding a bicycle in a traffic lane and they found my friend's wallet and cell phone on him. Under questioning he confessed to the entire thing. Meeting guys on the internet is always risky because it makes the perps feel anonymous and allows them to think they can get away with it. Anyone who uses the internet to meet guys for whatever reason needs to be safe about it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 27, 2009 6:05 PM GMT
    You're right Ruck! If something doesn't sound right or feel right chances are "it just ain't RIGHT"icon_eek.gif
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    Apr 27, 2009 6:29 PM GMT
    Unfortuntely, news in this country is by its very nature distorted because of the size of population, 350,000,000. How many hookup are going on each
    day ? Multilply that by the number of days since this has happened last; its a huge number equal to your chances of winning a state lottery. Are you worried about winning the sate lottery?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 27, 2009 6:59 PM GMT
    Hey its not just about being harmed physically.

    A few years ago I met a guy at his place and he asked if I wanted to shower before leaving. I did and an hour later I went to use my credit card and realisized it wasn't in my wallet.

    I called the bank they told me that it was just used to buy $300.00 of product at a home depot that was two blocks from that guy's house.

    Bad decision to leave my clothes/wallet in the bedroom while I showered.

    I'll never do that again. It could have been alot worse.