Meeting new guys

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    Apr 27, 2009 10:42 PM GMT
    Ok, so I was wondering how you guys like being approached by other guys and what do you do/say? What body language do you send to a guy you are interested in? What about in groups when you are with your friends and you see someone you’d like to meet? Do you stare at them, smile harder than you would? Talk louder? I have notice that lots of times, guys are listening to their iPods’ and seem unapproachable. What do you think? Do you guys make yourself approachable? I know I am asking a lot of question, but I really want to hear from you

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    Apr 27, 2009 10:55 PM GMT
    I don't like the intense eye contact across the room thing. It's pretty annoying. Are you coming on to me? Do I have a booger hanging out of my nose. Are you trying to send me telepathic messages? What? icon_lol.gif

    And if we're in a non-gay environment, then I'm gonna assume that you're mad dogging me, and you wanna fight. So I much prefer it if a guy comes up to me in a friendly way and attempts small talk.
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    Apr 27, 2009 11:01 PM GMT
    xrichx saidI don't like the intense eye contact across the room thing. It's pretty annoying. Are you coming on to me? Do I have a booger hanging out of my nose. Are you trying to send me telepathic messages? What? icon_lol.gif

    And if we're in a non-gay environment, then I'm gonna assume that you're mad dogging me, and you wanna fight. So I much prefer it if a guy comes up to me in a friendly way and attempts small talk.


    I agree. Especially on the dog fighting part. You don't know if a guy wants to start a fight or is hitting on you in a none gay area. (it's like this in the area I live so yeah...)
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    Apr 27, 2009 11:08 PM GMT
    xrichx saidI don't like the intense eye contact across the room thing. It's pretty annoying. Are you coming on to me? Do I have a booger hanging out of my nose. Are you trying to send me telepathic messages? What? icon_lol.gif

    And if we're in a non-gay environment, then I'm gonna assume that you're mad dogging me, and you wanna fight. So I much prefer it if a guy comes up to me in a friendly way and attempts small talk.


    I feel the same way...let’s assume that all gay guys feel the same. In fact, let’s say the guy you approached is shy, yet he looks mean and gives you short answers when you ask him questions; when he is really interested in you. Then you leave thinking you made a fool of yourself and vice versa. Why do you think, this happens? Guys act mean and unapproachable when in reality they really like to meet you?

    -I grew up in the ghetto, so I know the risk...but do you think, will there every be a strategy for guys to meet in public?
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    Apr 28, 2009 12:24 AM GMT
    Being honest, I would have to say that I may seem unapproachable. I get the looks and gestures, but that's a turnoff for me. I only reciprocate with a guy that's attractive if he just comes out and says something. Looks and gestures seem rude, like when you're trying to get a dog to come to you and look excited and slap your thigh. I find it rude and low. If a guy likes me or wants to talk he can just come up to me and do so.

    I rarely hit on guys in public, but if I did I'd say something instead of doing the 'cruising stare' thing.
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    Apr 28, 2009 12:52 AM GMT
    I like a guy to approach me with confidence and with the intention of wanting to start a conversation. Open up with a little humor and let me decide if things can go further. I don't mind a little eye banter but if it lasts more then 5 minutes and if the guy seems to have his glare on full blast and makes it obvious to the whole world then my interest is gonna diminish quickly.

    Honesty is definitely a great and knowing when to play mysterious and coy can attractive too. I hate it when guys come on too strong and act like they already know they are gonna score. Serious! That's putting the cart before the horse big time and assuming I'll even be interested just because we are talking is hilarious. A conversation involving sex with the first 5 minutes is a deal breaker for sure in my book.
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    Apr 28, 2009 1:46 AM GMT
    Not that I'm an expert by any means, but I would say take all the bullshit like the "hard stare" and throw it out the window. I don't know one guy who finds that inviting. It's usually off putting.

    For me if I see someone and he sees me, and it seems like there's mutual interest I'd like to see just a simple gesture (either a nod of the head or the hand) inviting me to come over to talk. I'll almost always respond by doing so unless the guy is completely not my type, in which case I'll do my best to politely wave him off.

    I don't want to embarrass anyone but I don't want to lead anyone on either.

    I'll second what Guy101 said, a conversation that turns to sex in the first few minutes is a conversation I'm leaving as soon as I can find an exit. I'm not a prude but I don't want to be sized up for a romp in the sack when I'm looking to make conversation and get to know someone.

    Bottom line is, don't act like a hunter looking for prey. Show me you're interested in being decent toward me, respecting me as a person, and maybe trying to find common interests.
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    Apr 28, 2009 1:58 AM GMT
    you walk right up to the bugger, shake his hand (And please.. don't do that piss ant weak handshake, it just screams eeeew) introduce ma self and ask him how his night is, or ask if I can get him another drink, of, if hes incredibly cute to me, I'll tell him so.. hell.. with most guys there so startled that someone actually had the balls to approach them that they are sorta lost on what to do..

    everyone there giving off the "unapproachable" "too good for everyone" shit bah..
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    Apr 28, 2009 2:03 AM GMT
    I dont like being approached or stared at...its a major turn off! If someone starts off being a friend, then good.icon_wink.gif
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    Apr 28, 2009 3:51 AM GMT
    lilTanker saidyou walk right up to the bugger, shake his hand (And please.. don't do that piss ant weak handshake, it just screams eeeew) introduce ma self and ask him how his night is, or ask if I can get him another drink, of, if hes incredibly cute to me, I'll tell him so.. hell.. with most guys there so startled that someone actually had the balls to approach them that they are sorta lost on what to do..

    everyone there giving off the "unapproachable" "too good for everyone" shit bah..


    ever got laughed at, like really laughed at? i have your attitude, but let me tell you it's not for the weak of heart.
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    Apr 28, 2009 4:00 AM GMT
    carabin said
    lilTanker saidyou walk right up to the bugger, shake his hand (And please.. don't do that piss ant weak handshake, it just screams eeeew) introduce ma self and ask him how his night is, or ask if I can get him another drink, of, if hes incredibly cute to me, I'll tell him so.. hell.. with most guys there so startled that someone actually had the balls to approach them that they are sorta lost on what to do..

    everyone there giving off the "unapproachable" "too good for everyone" shit bah..


    ever got laughed at, like really laughed at? i have your attitude, but let me tell you it's not for the weak of heart.
    no.. never been laughed at... but I'm not a dick about it, so no one really has a reason to laugh at me for it.
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    Apr 28, 2009 4:04 AM GMT
    lilTanker said
    carabin said
    lilTanker saidyou walk right up to the bugger, shake his hand (And please.. don't do that piss ant weak handshake, it just screams eeeew) introduce ma self and ask him how his night is, or ask if I can get him another drink, of, if hes incredibly cute to me, I'll tell him so.. hell.. with most guys there so startled that someone actually had the balls to approach them that they are sorta lost on what to do..

    everyone there giving off the "unapproachable" "too good for everyone" shit bah..


    ever got laughed at, like really laughed at? i have your attitude, but let me tell you it's not for the weak of heart.
    no.. never been laughed at... but I'm not a dick about it, so no one really has a reason to laugh at me for it.


    i just meant that a bit of eye contact and/or a smile goes a long way before hitting on someone, just to get an idea if it's worth the time. if things are good that way, you are usually golden to make the move.
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    Apr 28, 2009 4:08 AM GMT
    If he's in a group of friends I look at him until he notices. If he's alone or with one other friend and doesn't come over my way on his own I'll walk over and talk. I'm pretty forward and I've never been laughed at, nor laughed at someone who approached me in whom I was uninterested. In fact I generally feel a little bad letting him down. I still try to make friends with him if I'm not interested in him in a romantic way, although so far that has not worked.
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    Apr 28, 2009 4:18 AM GMT
    QUOTE'll tell him so.. hell.. with most guys there so startled that someone actually had the balls to approach them that they are sorta lost on what to do..


    It's always fun when I get someone like that, I like to reply with something that knocks them off guard though, and I usually succeed, so be careful if you run into someone like me icon_smile.gif
  • maximumrisk

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    Apr 28, 2009 4:32 AM GMT
    If someone intrests me I usualy try to get some sort of eye contact and then give a smile or a nudge. Normally if they respond then I approach. In my experience I get rejected pretty easy if I try talking to a guy who hasnt even noticed me a bit.
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    Apr 28, 2009 4:57 AM GMT
    Rune said
    QUOTE'll tell him so.. hell.. with most guys there so startled that someone actually had the balls to approach them that they are sorta lost on what to do..


    It's always fun when I get someone like that, I like to reply with something that knocks them off guard though, and I usually succeed, so be careful if you run into someone like me icon_smile.gif

    Oh I've met guys like you.. having a highly developed sense of humor I can generally catch ma self before I fall flat on ma face.. except for a few times.. hehe I wont go into them but we had fun none the less and I'm always cool with being the butt of a joke icon_smile.gif
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    Apr 28, 2009 4:59 AM GMT
    Lil tank, I'm sorry if I made you feel like the butt of a joke.icon_wink.gif
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    Apr 28, 2009 5:23 AM GMT
    26mileman saidLil tank, I'm sorry if I made you feel like the butt of a joke.icon_wink.gif
    you can make me feel anything you want.. anything at all ;)
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    Apr 28, 2009 5:27 AM GMT
    I'd say be neutral about it all. Start up a conversation perhaps? You want them to know you have an interest in them as a person not a sex object. Then again I have met guys who can just go on the latter premise....
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    Apr 28, 2009 11:35 AM GMT
    I feel like it's all a waste of time if you don't look similar to Brad Pitt.