is cross-dressing offensive?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 28, 2009 1:59 AM GMT
    i have this officemate who was issued a memo for wearing "offensive clothing". He was wearing a black empire-cut dress, silver pumps, and a glittery gray bolero to match the pumps; and he did not violate the female's dress code. he asked the supervisor how he was being offensive but he couldn't give him a concrete explaination; and our company's table of offenses does not specify either. It was all according our supervisor's personal taste which i found biased.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 28, 2009 2:05 AM GMT
    he's your boss.. unless he goes to far in his demands, shut up and deal with it..
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 28, 2009 2:13 AM GMT
    Well, these days, just remember.... Whether something is "harassment" or "offensive" is all in the eyes of the offended. So policy dictates that you err on the side of the expected and least likely to offend the greatest number of people. LOL! Hell, I've already met some gays on this site who would be offended by a guy wearing such an outfit, much less the rest of the straights.

    Sounds like the boss was playing it safe.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 28, 2009 2:24 AM GMT
    I have no idea how Philippine law might rule on this. By coincidence, I was volunteering at an HIV/AIDS agency today, as I often do, where a cross-dresser is on the staff. She had a problem with her computer that I helped to solve. She's not legally a tranny, just cross-dresses and also is a local drag queen on stage. Everyone uses female pronouns in reference to her, and accepts her wish to be known as a woman.

    Nobody seems to have a problem with that. I suppose these things are often a state of mind.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 28, 2009 3:00 AM GMT
    Look in your standard operation manual for your job. The one that lists what kind of discrimination is not allowed in the work place. That will give you your answer and if it is discrimination then it should be taken to human resources.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 28, 2009 4:26 AM GMT
    Perhaps the offense was in the heels - I mean, silver pumps...pshaw...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 28, 2009 6:05 AM GMT
    luismaco said he did not violate the female's dress code.




    That's a tricky one I must admit I was stumped there too for a minute and then I realized

    Males follow the male dress code
    Females follow the female dress code

    In retrospect it seems such an obvious thing. I don't know why i didn't get it immediately.

    I don't think it's offensive, I may think it inappropriate business attire

    If i was the boss and someone was claiming discrimination based on their gender identity I would suggest they could either follow the male or female dress code in it's entirety but not alternate between them...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 28, 2009 6:07 AM GMT
    im offended....


  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 28, 2009 6:08 AM GMT

    Ask him to work for MAC Cosmetics. icon_idea.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 28, 2009 6:09 AM GMT
    I personally do not understand cross dressing. Is it just the textures of the materials that people appreciate or just the fact that they look like the opposite sex?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 28, 2009 6:18 AM GMT
    I can think of few things less harmful to society than persona or attire. The corporate business habitat will likely be the last vestige of conservatism.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 28, 2009 11:26 AM GMT
    Looknrnd saidPerhaps the offense was in the heels - I mean, silver pumps...pshaw...




    Absolutely, the whole ensemble sounds more suited to an evening out or a cockicon_biggrin.giftail party. And you haven't mentioned the colour of his eye shadow, finger nails, panty hose, there's just so many variables to consider darling.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 28, 2009 11:48 AM GMT
    Offensive? no way!

    I don't see why transgressing gender norms (through cisgender men dressing in clothing typically considered feminine etc) is such a big deal - and why it is the business of any body else really...

    Gender policing sux!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 28, 2009 12:14 PM GMT
    atari84 saidOffensive? no way!

    I don't see why transgressing gender norms (through cisgender men dressing in clothing typically considered feminine etc) is such a big deal - and why it is the business of any body else really...

    Gender policing sux!


    Indeed. But I guess the boss was worried about the customers or something. Meh. Someday...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 28, 2009 12:56 PM GMT
    sydney_cider saidI personally do not understand cross dressing. Is it just the textures of the materials that people appreciate or just the fact that they look like the opposite sex?

    I befriended some cross-dressers, one of whom was the First Sergeant (E-8 ) of a US Army Reserve company, which has served 2 tours in Iraq at last count. I got to know him at our local gay club, because he and 4 other cross-dresser friends of his would gather there for a monthly "tea" together.

    They all claimed to be straight, but used our gay club because they were accepted & safe there, versus the ordinary red-neck bars in that area. And these guys did NOT make very convincing women, and didn't have a clue how to dress like one.

    They'd all sit at a table together, each of them looking like a version of Dana Carvey's Church Lady from SNL, right down to their hats & handbags. We're not talking glamour girls here, but your great aunt Tillie.

    Well, I would always visit with them (though most gays there wouldn't bother, just steered clear of them), especially because of my military connection with the First Sergeant, which is the most senior sergeant in a unit, and the Company Commander's right-hand man (or lady, in this case). Think Corporal Klinger from M*A*S*H, only with much more rank.

    He was married with kids, and his Captain Company Commander knew about his cross-dressing "hobby" and ignored it, though it could have been grounds for discharge. In fact, the First Sergeant brought women's clothes to Iraq in his duffle bag, that he'd wear in private, or sometimes just the panties & bra under his uniform.

    None of our church ladies could ever give me a clear reason for their interest in cross-dressing. But an important element was to do it in public, not just private, hence their monthly soirees to our gay club. And as I said, they all professed to being totally straight.

    It was an interesting contrast to all the gay drag queens I knew, who kept their heels confined to the stage, and became men again off-stage. So that our drag queen cross-dresser at work, that I mentioned in a post above, is the sole exception I've ever encountered.

    BTW, I've done some comic drag myself, and I've never had any desire to wear female clothing away from the stage. It's damn uncomfortable & impractical, whereas I love men's clothing, and being a man, too.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 28, 2009 1:29 PM GMT
    It really depends on the business and what is written in their Policy and Procedure Manual and the Employee Handbook. On a corporate level he is classified as male and as such he is held by the rules of conduct as outlined in the manual. It's not so much that the supervisor being offended by the cocktail dress. The supervisor also has to think about the clients which whom pay your salary.

    Now unless this buffoon has medical documentation stating that he is going through a transgender stage and must dress like a female. What he did is jus silly. It's a place of business not a drag show. If did something like that I would be terminated on the spot.
    He made this whole thing about him, if he owns the business that's one thing then do what you do. He was just an employee. I not offended I just think he exercised poor judgment.icon_eek.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 28, 2009 1:34 PM GMT
    I see cross dressing as a sure sign of some sort of mental illness. It is disgusting!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 28, 2009 7:18 PM GMT
    If it was cross dressing as a means of making fun of crossdressers/transexual people, then its offense. Lots of places have bans on crossdressing unless you specifically choose another gender identity specifically to protect those kinds of people against harassment.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 28, 2009 7:34 PM GMT
    carthesis saidIf it was cross dressing as a means of making fun of crossdressers/transexual people, then its offense. Lots of places have bans on crossdressing unless you specifically choose another gender identity specifically to protect those kinds of people against harassment.


    I would find that that would be something difficult to prove in a person though surely?

  • jgymnast733

    Posts: 1783

    Apr 28, 2009 8:05 PM GMT
    I dont think your boss was so offended, but i do think the females in your office might have been, especially if he looked better than any of them.icon_idea.gif I'm sure they all marched into his office to voice there disaproval, with hands on hips.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 29, 2009 7:20 AM GMT
    robbieII saidI see cross dressing as a sure sign of some sort of mental illness. It is disgusting!


    Definantly. Sort of like liking guys.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 29, 2009 7:38 AM GMT
    robbieII saidI see cross dressing as a sure sign of some sort of mental illness. It is disgusting!


    Yeah, and there is a storm brewing. icon_rolleyes.gif
  • barriehomeboy

    Posts: 2475

    Apr 29, 2009 7:42 AM GMT
    How could a bolerro not contravene the dress code? He'll be on that worst- dressed list next year.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 29, 2009 7:49 AM GMT
    depends on how conservative you are, how much you can tolerate people who dress differently than you do, and your opinion on trannies in general. i don't care if a girl wears guy clothes, or a guy wears girl clothes. as long as they're not an asshole-bitch, it's all good.
  • barriehomeboy

    Posts: 2475

    Apr 29, 2009 7:57 AM GMT
    Well that's true. If it's not like Halloween, I guess cut them some slack.