how important is saying "i love you"?

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    Apr 29, 2009 3:35 PM GMT
    i've been with this man for eight months now, we're living together but he rarely says "i love you". i would always ask him if he does and says yes. but i admit that everytime he does say i love you, it feels so good that i'm left thoughtless, speechless and just all smiles. thoughts....?
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    Apr 29, 2009 3:41 PM GMT
    don't make him say it to the point that you become desensitized to it.
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    Apr 29, 2009 3:45 PM GMT
    the facts that give support to your words will let him know how much you love him no the amount of times you say it.
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    Apr 29, 2009 6:36 PM GMT
    charlitos saidthe facts that give support to your words will let him know how much you love him no the amount of times you say.


    Agreed. We put such obligation on these little words that the exchange of them almost becomes comparable to a handshake. Try to see the little things he does without actually saying, "I love you." Get all speechless over those sorts of things....that's when he really means it....when he's not being asked or expecting anything in return.
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    Apr 29, 2009 6:45 PM GMT
    luismaco saidi've been with this man for eight months now, we're living together but he rarely says "i love you". i would always ask him if he does and says yes. but i admit that everytime he does say i love you, it feels so good that i'm left thoughtless, speechless and just all smiles. thoughts....?


    Sounds like you have some self esteem issues and are seeking affirmation of your relationship. Either he does love you, or doesn't, or somewhere in between, but, you're gonna' piss him off if you nag him about it.

    Sometimes, the nicest things are left unsaid.

    If you're secure in yourself, and your relationship, you won't need to seek affirmation. Your relationship will just be magic, and you'll know, without it being said.
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    Apr 29, 2009 10:08 PM GMT
    Long term relationship?- you better say it
    Random hookup- you better not say it
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    Apr 29, 2009 10:17 PM GMT
    "it feels so good that i'm left thoughtless, speechless and just all smiles. thoughts....?"

    If he says it everyday, you'll stop feeling thoughtless and speechless when he says it and maybe he doesn't want that.
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    Apr 30, 2009 5:03 AM GMT
    It depends on the individual; for example, my Father rarely says 'i love you' and when he does it's a major revelation cause a) he's saying it and b) I know how hard it is for him to say it. So when he says it to me it is very important.
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    Apr 30, 2009 5:09 AM GMT
    Ya know I find people through out 'i love U' too much, to the point it has become meaningless and certainly does not come across as a sincere expression of their feelings. it has become a through away phrase. Don't tell me u love me - SHOW me u love me - actions speak louder than words and are almost always more sincere. Is this just me?
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    Apr 30, 2009 5:27 AM GMT
    It really is needed to hear sometimes, if nothing more than reassurance. I do know that if you have to ask him alot, then your relationship may have a major cornerstone issue-Itimacy issues (intimacy is way different than sex) and communication issues. I do agree with tommyelement in that I am blown away when I am shown someone loves me.
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    Apr 30, 2009 5:45 AM GMT


    Every day Bill and I make each others day a little brighter with those little words.

    Tell you what, when he does say those words to you, instead of getting speechless, tell him how those words make you feel, like you did here, then say them to him.



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    Apr 30, 2009 6:11 AM GMT
    It is nice when spoken in sincerity at the right time. It can do a lot of good that way .. then again

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    Apr 30, 2009 6:17 AM GMT


    Hmmm this makes me wonder if some of you feel the same way about frequency of sex and/or cuddling, which as ActiveAndFit just showed us, can be the sign language of 'I love you' or should that only be offered rarely as well so that it doesn't lose its potency?
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    Apr 30, 2009 6:23 AM GMT
    I don't think it needs to be said all the time. The fact that it upsets you that he doesn't say it with more frequency might be an indicator of neediness and insecurity on your part.