I met one guy for breakfast once.
He wanted to bring me home to meet his parents. I said no. He got very emotional. I poured orange juice on his feet in a display of testosterone and called him ugly names. He called his parents on his cell, who were very anxious to meet the man who'd finally won their boy's heart. I started acting straight and called him a fag, to which he replied "we're not gonna do this here are we? Well, ok, but it wasn't my ideeeaaaahhh." He pulled his pants off and offered his ass. His butt hygiene was awful and he was in grave need of a butt bleaching. I threw up my scrambled eggs, which looked exactly the same coming up as they did going down. He took my puking as a sign that I was really into it, so, he turned around and threw up right back on me and called me daddy.
He said he'd call.