I really wish we could eliminate the pejorative names that are used on RJ

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    Apr 30, 2009 9:04 PM GMT
    The latest fad seems to be "fattie." In one thread, it was really used offensively. In another, maybe less so. But still I find it jarring ... icon_eek.gif ... and I dont consider it an appellation that applies to be.

    To empathize with terms of which I might not feel the full sting, I try to find a term that I would find stinging and say that to myself. And then say, that is how that other term feels to other people.

    So, let's say, you wouldnt like to be called "fem." You consider yourself as masculine ...and maybe more so with your bulging muscles... so try putting yourself in the situation of being called "fem" or having all gays labeled as "fem" and you get swept up with the lot. If you dont like it, well, that's how it feels to others with the term that doesnt resonate with you.

    If "fem" doesnt push your button, try another.

    But I really wish we could be more considerate. Life is hard enough for some. RJ doesnt have to an extension of that life.

    funny pictures
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    Apr 30, 2009 9:05 PM GMT
    Sticks and Stones....
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    Apr 30, 2009 9:06 PM GMT
    yeah.

    it's not really the word that has the feelings tied into it.

    it's how you use it.


    hey, you wanna roll up a fatty?

    sure!





    wanna go eat a stack of hamburger, you fucking fatty?

    Fuck You.



    I'm still sore about that. fucking jerk.
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    Apr 30, 2009 9:17 PM GMT
    Funkapottomous saidhey, you wanna roll up a fatty?
    OMG OMG OMG Are you like.. erm.. *whispers* talking about pot?
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    Apr 30, 2009 9:33 PM GMT
    AMT87 saidSticks and Stones....


    Words are immensely powerful and shape reality. The language we use is our way of viewing the world. That is why words like "nigger" and "faggot" matter. That is why some people get very upset about gender inclusive language.

    I have chosen NOT to give people power over me through the language they may use, but that decision comes out of a strong, realistic sense of self. Not everyone is in that place at the moment.

    So please, RJers, show a little maturity and class and stop the hate speech. It´s really out of place.
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    Apr 30, 2009 10:01 PM GMT
    lilTanker said
    Funkapottomous saidhey, you wanna roll up a fatty?
    OMG OMG OMG Are you like.. erm.. *whispers* talking about pot?



    damnit.

    I actually took the time to copy and paste that shit to read it.

    >:0
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    Apr 30, 2009 10:07 PM GMT
    I'd rather people speak their truth. Show their ugly as well as their nipples and bulge.

    That way, I know the people to ignore.
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    Apr 30, 2009 10:21 PM GMT
    RunintheCity saidI'd rather people speak their truth. Show their ugly as well as their nipples and bulge.

    That way, I know the people to ignore.


    they can speak their truth, but I do have a problem doing it in a sociopathic way ("ALL that matters is that I say what I think . Gotta be honest right?") Adults understand that there are ways of and contexts for saying the truth which mean that it´s heard. The sociopath is only concerned with themselves and the IMPORTANCE of their own opinion. They say whatever comes into their head, and boy does it show.
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    Apr 30, 2009 10:28 PM GMT
    Lostboy said
    they can speak their truth, but I do have a problem doing it in a sociopathic way ("ALL that matters is that I say what I think . Gotta be honest right?") Adults understand that there are ways of and contexts for saying the truth which mean that it´s heard. The sociopath is only concerned with themselves and the IMPORTANCE of their own opinion. They say whatever comes into their head, and boy does it show.


    You're right. But if they are sociopaths...I'd rather learn that quickly too.
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    Apr 30, 2009 10:35 PM GMT

    ...........................................Photobucket

    I take it to mean in your original post, you are pin pointing "fattie" as a negative term. I agree, but you take your "argument" to offensive heights when you use fem as an example of another offensive term. WTF, Caslon?

    All you had to do was say that "fattie is offensive"....I get that.

    This hypothetical gay man that thinks fem traits are negative and would take offense if the term fem were applied to the whole community, including himself, is the least subtle slam I've ever heard from you. You can't hide behind him.
    Especially if the goal is to deter any variation of the "us > them" mentality on this site, you are pissing in the wind with this post.

    I recall something someone on one of those fat threads said when someone campared being fat to having a terminal illness The person said weight you can lose, a disease you can't. Being feminine is a trait, not something that reults from a piss poor diet; as I've said until I am blue in the face before, that trait is prevelant among gay men....I don't care how bulky (I can personally testify to this).

    You using fem to signify an offensive term, even if it is just that to your hypothetical gay man, sounds like a slam to me....maybe not to large men, but to a whole other part of this community.
    I get that this thread is an attempt at damage control by you, but I find myself taking off my earings and putting up my dukes so I think you FAILED, especially if any of the "fatties" you are defending happen to be fems/femmish as well.
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    May 01, 2009 12:38 AM GMT
    Caslon10000 saidThe latest fad seems to be "fattie." In one thread, it was really used offensively. In another, maybe less so. But still I find it jarring ... icon_eek.gif ... and I dont consider it an appellation that applies to be.

    To empathize with terms of which I might not feel the full sting, I try to find a term that I would find stinging and say that to myself. And then say, that is how that other term feels to other people.

    So, let's say, you wouldnt like to be called "fem." You consider yourself as masculine ...and maybe more so with your bulging muscles... so try putting yourself in the situation of being called "fem" or having all gays labeled as "fem" and you get swept up with the lot. If you dont like it, well, that's how it feels to others with the term that doesnt resonate with you.

    If "fem" doesnt push your button, try another.

    But I really wish we could be more considerate. Life is hard enough for some. RJ doesnt have to an extension of that life.



    Oh, jeez, grow some for crying out loud.

    The very last thing you need in an open discussion is folks being animated for the sake of wimpy egos. That's not a discussion at all. That's a farce.
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    May 01, 2009 12:53 AM GMT
    This sounds like I am replying specifically to you Chucky, but it is for a larger audience.

    You don't need dehumanizing language to have a discussion.

    Saying to someone "You are a fatass" is a coded way of saying "You are fat and there is nothing you can do about it because being fat is your nature". That sort of language isn't helpful, it is a distraction.

    We all need some tough love every once in a while, but the pejorative language is rarely used as tough love here or elsewhere. Even if we are speaking to an individual we are lumping them in with every other fatass. There is a big difference from the guys who are out of shape who take control over their lives and work towards better health and the 'woe is me I am fat and diet and exercise don't work 'cause I am lazy and doc said I need my stomach cut in half'.

    The problem isn't everyone has weak skin, the problem is you are being inconsiderate.
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    May 01, 2009 12:56 AM GMT
    Funkapottomous said
    lilTanker said
    Funkapottomous saidhey, you wanna roll up a fatty?
    OMG OMG OMG Are you like.. erm.. *whispers* talking about pot?



    damnit.

    I actually took the time to copy and paste that shit to read it.

    >:0

    and you liked it didn't chay ;)

    words are words, I will not give someone the ability to drag me down by calling me a faggot, the term fudge packer, will not disrupt me, the name poofter will not hurt me and the worlds faloffle will make me giggle..

    By this I still always stand.. so call me what you will.. because faloffle will always make me giggle.. I've no idea of its meaning but I like it!
  • CAtoFL

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    May 01, 2009 1:11 AM GMT
    American politics killed civility on RJ.

    For some reason during the last election, it became acceptable on here to call anyone you disagreed with "stupid", "ignorant", "clueless", etc. This, of course, is the equivalent of trying to win an intellectual debate by calling your opponent a "poo poo face". Yet, on and on it went. And on and on it STILL goes.

    Moderators haven't stepped in. Very few threads seem to have been removed or altered based on peurile name calling. This site is just reaping what it's sowed. How is this latest version of name calling any different?

    So here we go ... another thread lamenting what we took no effort to change.
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    May 01, 2009 2:10 AM GMT
    Are there even active moderators at work in the RJ forums?
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    May 01, 2009 2:34 AM GMT
    RunintheCity saidAre there even active moderators at work in the RJ forums?


    Apparently not...

    I've seen practically porn and the rules are against sexualized pics - "Sexual acts. Content depicting any sexual act with any object or life form is illegal and prohibited."

    As for rules, I just read about moderation: "NO MODERATION; CARE IN GIVING INFORMATION

    The Website and Services are not moderated. You agree that your Participation in the Website and the Services is of your free will and for your own personal entertainment. The Website and Services should not be used by emergency personnel for any communication. The Website and Services may not be used to post, promote, exchange or solicit any Prohibited Content (outlined in Rules Regarding Content Posted, below).

    We strongly discourage individual Participants from giving out financial, personal or other information that would enable someone to locate your home, place of business or current location while using any of the Services. Disbursement of this kind of information while using Website and Services is solely at the Participant's own risk."

    So, there you go! Apparently they trust us to be adults! You'd think that would be a given.

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    May 01, 2009 2:41 AM GMT
    Oh lord have mercy on the meek and mild.