"Big Bang Theory" and Friends With Benefits

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    Apr 30, 2009 10:22 PM GMT
    If you haven't watched "The Big Bang Theory", you should. It is very funny and well written. I think Jim Parsons (Sheldon) is so adorable, plus he is a Texas boy.
    Anyway, last Monday's episode broached the issue of "friends with benefits." I always thought, at my advanced age, that should be the way I should go.
    Would like to hear from you all about this. Do you are did you have such an arrangement with a friend and what are your thoughts and reflection on this type of relationship?
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    May 01, 2009 12:57 AM GMT
    I haven't had friends with benefits but I have had a situation where I would get together with the same guy. It worked out because neither of us wanted a boyfriend or to hang out. We eventually got bored with one another and went our separate ways.

    It can be a good situation if both are on the same page.
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    May 01, 2009 1:07 AM GMT
    well without sounding like a whore, that is exactly what i need right now. i have never done anything with another guy but would like to.
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    May 01, 2009 1:08 AM GMT
    I'm in the mood for a big bang right now.. *grumbles*
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    May 01, 2009 1:23 AM GMT
    I've been in this situation. I met this guy and we decided to become friends with benefits. It was cool after awhile but then he wanted the situation to become exclusive. Not boyfriends, just exclusive when it came to sex. The gay news in our area was talking about a surge in HIV and STD cases and it kinda spooked us. We figured it would just be the safest route. Since nobody else was really grabbing my attention, I was all for it. Then after awhile, it got sticky. I mean, I'm hanging out with the guy cus he's cool and I get to have sex with him and only him....sounds like a boyfriend right? Wrong. I developed feelings and treated it as though he was my boyfriend. He wasn't too happy about it. Funny thing is, when we decided to not continue our 'thing', he became super jealous and upset when I slept with someone else. We're currently back 'on' for the millionth time in the year I've known him.

    I think its a great idea but just make sure your feelings don't start to get in the way, you're honest with this other person and you make it a point to communicate with each other.
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    May 01, 2009 2:08 AM GMT
    1StopCandyShop saidThen after awhile, it got sticky. I mean, I'm hanging out with the guy cus he's cool and I get to have sex with him and only him....sounds like a boyfriend right? Wrong. I developed feelings and treated it as though he was my boyfriend.


    Unfortunately I can relate to it...icon_neutral.gif

    The guy is cool, you like each other, you see each other frequently, he calls you, he's super gentle... but he isn't your boyfriend. Duh.

    TexSportsNut saidI always thought, at my advanced age, that should be the way I should go.


    Why? Aren't men at your "advanced age" more inclined to LTRs than others?
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    May 01, 2009 2:14 AM GMT
    bachian said

    TexSportsNut saidI always thought, at my advanced age, that should be the way I should go.


    Why? Aren't men at your "advanced age" more inclined to LTRs than others?

    My question exactly. Why would "friends with benefits" make more sense at any particular age?
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    May 01, 2009 2:31 AM GMT
    SockMonkey said
    bachian said

    TexSportsNut saidI always thought, at my advanced age, that should be the way I should go.


    Why? Aren't men at your "advanced age" more inclined to LTRs than others?

    My question exactly. Why would "friends with benefits" make more sense at any particular age?

    so you don't have to put up with the neurotic tendances of guys who want to date you..
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    May 01, 2009 2:34 AM GMT
    But that is an issue for everyone from teenagers to octogenarians.
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    May 01, 2009 3:14 AM GMT
    lilTanker said
    SockMonkey said
    bachian said

    TexSportsNut saidI always thought, at my advanced age, that should be the way I should go.


    Why? Aren't men at your "advanced age" more inclined to LTRs than others?

    My question exactly. Why would "friends with benefits" make more sense at any particular age?

    so you don't have to put up with the neurotic tendances of guys who want to date you..


    LilTanker, you wouldn't put up with my neuroses? sniff
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    May 01, 2009 4:09 AM GMT
    TheIStrat said
    lilTanker said
    SockMonkey said
    bachian said

    TexSportsNut saidI always thought, at my advanced age, that should be the way I should go.


    Why? Aren't men at your "advanced age" more inclined to LTRs than others?

    My question exactly. Why would "friends with benefits" make more sense at any particular age?

    so you don't have to put up with the neurotic tendances of guys who want to date you..


    LilTanker, you wouldn't put up with my neuroses? sniff

    you don't have any *nods* so I'd put up with you *nods* or put something up you.. either way.. we'd have lots of fun!
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    May 01, 2009 4:32 AM GMT
    Is there a difference between "friends with benefits" and fuckbuds?
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    May 01, 2009 8:19 PM GMT
    I am not adverse to LTRs, just being realistic.

    I have been out since I was 26 and have never been in a relationship longer than 6 mos with alot of time between dating and the next relationship. All but two were ended by the other person.

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    May 01, 2009 8:30 PM GMT
    I love Big Bang Theory but that episode was far away from the meaning of "friends with benefits" lol.
  • phunkie

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    May 01, 2009 8:31 PM GMT
    TexSportsNut saidIf you haven't watch "The Big Bang Theory", you should. It is very funny and well written. I think Jim Parsons (Sheldon) is so adorable, plus he is a Texas boy.
    Anyway, last Monday's episode broached the issue of "friends with benefits." I always thought, at my advanced age, that should be the way I should go.
    Would like to hear from you all about this. Do you are did you have such an arrangement with a friend and what are your thoughts and reflection on this type of relationship?


    I totally dig the show. I think the episode where they take penny to the comic book store was the funniest.

    but back to the topic, I do not see a problem if thats what the two parties want but I have not had or would not want this kind of relationship. To each his own. "OR HER OWN" (add the rest yourself.)
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    May 01, 2009 9:54 PM GMT
    Alpha13 saidIs there a difference between "friends with benefits" and fuckbuds?
    Not that it's of any significance, but for me there is a difference.
    FwB I meet to go to the movies, have dinner, hang out at a bar, or hang together with friends we share and have sex with sometimes.
    BuckFuddy I meet for sex only

    Shit, now I have to update my profile...
  • phunkie

    Posts: 325

    May 02, 2009 8:08 AM GMT
    I'm sorry i just had to post this. its awesome.

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    May 02, 2009 10:24 AM GMT
    I've had a couple "Friends with Benefits" relationships and they've been great! The first one was when I was first coming out, and it was with a co-worker of all people. We'd hang out on weekends, go to bars, dance clubs and end up under the covers. No drama, no hangups, jus good friends who had sex regularly. That part of our friendship only ended when he met the guy who would become his boyfriend. ( I was there when he met him) They've been together for 12 years now and we're all still friends.

    The second relationship was a 3 way between my partner and I, and a friend. We'd do the same thing, hang out, make dinner, go on trips, and of course have sex. This time however, the third guy seemed to start having feelings for us, and started hinting at becoming a trouple. After about 3 years, things cooled down. We don't have sex anymore with him, but we still hang out regularly and remain close as friends.

    Bottom line, I think friends with benefits is a great experience so long as both parties are straight forward with the other that this is about sex and friendship, not love and romance... because sex and love are two TOTALLY different things!
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    May 02, 2009 10:54 AM GMT
    Good God! Finding someone with whom there is mutual attraction, no deep emotional connection and close enough to meet on a regular basis seems like something close to impossible to fill.

    I might as well buy lottery tickets as 'retirement planning.'

    It's painful enough to develop feelings for someone who doesn't feel the same way. To add sex to that is like trying to put out a fire with gasoline.

    BTW I always try to watch "Big Bang Theory" if I'm home.
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    May 02, 2009 11:11 AM GMT
    The Big Bang Theory is hilarious!