Question? What do I get my X-BF for his wedding gift?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 02, 2009 1:17 AM GMT
    UPDATE:

    See Below!!


    Story posted.....










  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 02, 2009 4:39 AM GMT


    Well, at a wedding we went to, we gave them a time-piece. A fairly large mantle clock from Bombay Co. A couple of hundred dollars. It was an 18th century reproduction in mahogany. Not too ornate but nicely embellished. Something that connoted 'lastingness' as a way of expressing wishes for years of happiness.


    That help?
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    May 02, 2009 4:46 AM GMT
    mistic_man said...then what do I give THEM.....A case of lube??


    I'd be happy with a case of lube as a wedding gift...
    Maybe some rope? Matching leather hoods?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 02, 2009 4:46 AM GMT

    Gift: make a better than average charitable donation in honor of their wedding.

    Attendance: regretfully pass.

  • Webster666

    Posts: 9217

    May 02, 2009 5:11 AM GMT
    Proper etiquette dictates that you owe them nothing more than congratulations and best wishes. And, that can be said in a greeting card.
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    May 02, 2009 5:34 AM GMT
    Webster666 saidProper etiquette dictates that you owe them nothing more than congratulations and best wishes. And, that can be said in a greeting card.


    I kind of feel good and less shy about this one. I don't want to be rude....so this might be the best.

    Going to a wedding reception like this is odd to me in the first place. I mean really...

    So a good card that says...WHAT??

    HA!

    Now, since I am single I can go dancing when I want and if I want...right.. YEAH BABE!
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    May 02, 2009 6:05 AM GMT
    mistic_man said
    Webster666 saidProper etiquette dictates that you owe them nothing more than congratulations and best wishes. And, that can be said in a greeting card.


    I kind of feel good and less shy about this one. I don't want to be rude....so this might be the best.

    Going to a wedding reception like this is odd to me in the first place. I mean really...

    So a good card that says...WHAT??

    HA!

    Now, since I am single I can go dancing when I want and if I want...right.. YEAH BABE!


    U may want to take Webster 666 advice on this one...icon_eek.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 02, 2009 6:21 AM GMT
    If you cant think of something he liked that could be general to his new partner, then I'd ask where they are registered. That, or just bring liquor - that generally wins!
  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    May 02, 2009 6:23 AM GMT
    All my friends usually just register somewhere online, which keeps track of who has bought them what so they don't all get toasters, and then I pick out a gift from their list.
  • MSUBioNerd

    Posts: 1813

    May 02, 2009 6:38 AM GMT
    A card is all that's necessary.

    If you want to give a gift, I recommend a crockpot. It's my default wedding gift, because it's just so darn useful.
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    May 02, 2009 6:41 AM GMT
    I don't get the vibe from your posts that you're really great friends with him so I think a card and a regret on the RSVP like Webster suggested would suffice. If you feel awkward, there's no reason why you should suffer through the night. If your relationship is "I like hearing that you're doing well" type deal which is my interpretation, then there's really no obligation to get too involved in the hype.
  • Sparkycat

    Posts: 1064

    May 02, 2009 7:57 AM GMT
    a case of the swine flu
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 02, 2009 8:06 AM GMT

    "Going to a wedding reception like this is odd to me in the first place. I mean really..."

    Good grief, you shoulda said so on the first post! (we thought you wanted to go) No, no clock, just a card.





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    May 02, 2009 9:57 AM GMT
    MSUBioNerd saidA card is all that's necessary.

    If you want to give a gift, I recommend a crockpot. It's my default wedding gift, because it's just so darn useful.


    now...hey I need a cock for me first!! lol
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    May 02, 2009 9:59 AM GMT
    meninlove said
    "Going to a wedding reception like this is odd to me in the first place. I mean really..."

    Good grief, you shoulda said so on the first post! (we thought you wanted to go) No, no clock, just a card.







    Well maybe so. I mean he has been good to me. I am not sure why I feel like this. It may be because I told him a few years back that I did not want to marry him,,,,,oh well~
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    May 02, 2009 10:19 AM GMT
    samerphx saidAre they gay couple going to get marry in Iowa? Yeah i have to agree with you it is kinda strange. He was your ex and now he is getting marry to a man. No wonder why you're still single, because you want him back? lol j/k

    Just send them a $100 in the envelope and congratulation card too.


    In reality my feelings for him are more on an appreciative way. I like his kindness...be as far as the romance went ...not o hot..

    Hmmm maybe you should be my date and go with me...LOL

    I dunno...


    Oh....I did have fun dancing @ Charlies tonight~icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 02, 2009 10:21 AM GMT
    samerphx said
    mistic_man said
    meninlove said
    "Going to a wedding reception like this is odd to me in the first place. I mean really..."

    Good grief, you shoulda said so on the first post! (we thought you wanted to go) No, no clock, just a card.







    Well maybe so. I mean he has been good to me. I am not sure why I feel like this. It may be because I told him a few years back that I did not want to marry him,,,,,oh well~


    Why not?! You still love him? Oh man I am starting to like this thread lol Yeah I agree with meninlove... Just a card will be ok.


    Not love...but I do like him and he has a good heart. So maybe I should be happy and help him celebrate his happiness.....

    HOW ABOUT A BIG CASE OF LUBE?
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    May 02, 2009 11:23 AM GMT
    jprichva said...and for heaven's sake don't give cash. It's tacky.

    I hope this was useful.


    That's not true Jeff! =) I have pulled out Emily Post's Etiquette book from 2004 (yes, I really have this book) and a monetary gift is a common and often-appreciated gift. Pages 707-708.

    However, mistic-man's rhetorical question about giving a case of lube requires an answer. Giving such a gift would most certainly be tacky.

    Whatever gift you choose, mistic_man, I'll refer to page 709 where Peggy Post writes, "Can I take my present to the wedding? You can, but don't do it unless this is the tradition in the couple's...community. In most cases, it's best to send or hand-deliver gifts to the...couple's home."


    A prompt response on attendance is proper form and if you're NOT planning to attend, a phone call is appropriate (page 705).

    Good luck mistic_man.

    *Hyacinth is within me! icon_biggrin.gif
  • coolarmydude

    Posts: 9190

    May 02, 2009 11:45 AM GMT
    Tell him you have a work schedule conflict. As for a gift, give him a day planner.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 02, 2009 11:58 AM GMT
    A magazine subscription.
    brides_magazine_cover_463h.jpg
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    May 02, 2009 12:52 PM GMT
    pyrotech said
    mistic_man said...then what do I give THEM.....A case of lube??


    I'd be happy with a case of lube as a wedding gift...
    Maybe some rope? Matching leather hoods?


    I wonder if Muchmorethanmuscle read your post...icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 02, 2009 1:17 PM GMT
    Send them a good bottle of wine and a nice card.

    then don't go.

    to not respond just means you're an asshole

    to just send a card is basically just a brushoff, and you did say this guy is still your friend.

    to send a big gift means too much.

    to actually attend the damn thing means you're desparate.

    little elegant gift, card, and say you wish you could have been there but already had other plans (with your case of lube).



    UNLESS...there are going to be hot guys there. If there are...then fuck all that and go!

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 02, 2009 6:39 PM GMT
    Why are you even going to this shindig?...i think no matter what you will start having flashbacks of you and him then you'll start wondering why your not by his side...save yourself from thinking that.
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    May 02, 2009 6:55 PM GMT
    This yanks some emotions...and thank you all for a nice reply and sincere effort...I am still pondering this and will put down what I decide....but I am still confused~ LOL
  • bigtallguy

    Posts: 243

    May 02, 2009 6:56 PM GMT
    mistic_man, I think you should go to the wedding and then object during the ceremony. that will go over really well. then get sloppy drunk at the reception and invite yourself for a wedding night threesome with them.

    I am in a similar situation. My exboyfriend is marrying this dutch guy in amsterdam in 3 weeks. However, I have already agreed to attend the wedding and have bought my plane ticket.

    What does Emily Post Etiquette say about when you spend hundreds of dollars on transatlantic airfare to attend your ex's wedding. Do you still have to get a gift?
    Isn't my presence a present enough?

    My ex and I have remained friends so I think everything will go fine.
    But, if things get awkward and uncomfortable I will just go eat a spacecake and find myself a whore and forget all about it. It is Amsterdam, afterall.