Why are there very few, if any, positive gay role models?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 02, 2009 2:00 AM GMT
    Ok yes the media is a problem. However I think most "gay" men are not actually being men. They are stating boys and never becoming real men. So the few positive gay role models we have are never portrayed in the media, but still there are very few.

    PS this is my opinion to start a conversation not an attack. So please dont attack me

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    May 02, 2009 2:18 AM GMT
    I don't need role-models, gay or straight and I certainly don't want to emulate someone featured in the media. I'm pretty happy that I can make my own rules and can figure out what it is, that I really want, without role-models influencing me one way or another.
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    May 02, 2009 2:24 AM GMT
    Well not for us more like for the gay kids who are growing up now.
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    May 02, 2009 2:32 AM GMT
    I don't rely on the media for my news and I wouldn't rely on them for a role model either. They are pretty crap for role models period.

    Your assumptions about gay men are strange too. How are straight men in general any different than gay men in general? Most people I know are good people. I know there are horrible people out there, but I try to not associate with them.

    People are the same all over. Gay or straight the same shit goes on.
  • kaccioto

    Posts: 284

    May 02, 2009 5:07 AM GMT
    Because they don't spend their days posting on gay forums (guilty) or bitching to Dan Savage about their sex/emotional health. They simply need a bit more effort to find.


    ..and should they make truthful yet contrarion remarks about the gay community at large thru media (even gay rags), the media would probably disregard and void their comments, as they're not fitting as an 'acceptable' gay perception to general con$umers; hence you get the same ole' gay comments (ie which circuit party's hot, next cruise, is my boyfriend cheating on me, how to be an attention whore without appearing as one in a gay bar, yadda yadda, kill me)

    I know 3 personal ones I highly regard within my homophobic industry (somewhat changing), whom I've went out of my way to contact and grab lunch with. They are extremely busy with work, partners, vacation (they deserve it!), researching deals, gym (probably while working), charities, and refining their craft that it would make them impossible to catch, unless you go out of your way to find them for yourself.
  • Webster666

    Posts: 9217

    May 02, 2009 5:17 AM GMT
    There are extremely few OUT gay men, in the public eye.

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  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 02, 2009 5:29 AM GMT
    A role model should be a real person in your life, not someone you see on tv or movies or music videos or on a box of Wheaties.
  • clof

    Posts: 23

    May 02, 2009 5:31 AM GMT
    Coz gays are low keyed?
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    May 02, 2009 5:59 AM GMT
    Because we're bad people and we all burn in hell icon_lol.gif
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    May 02, 2009 6:27 AM GMT
    There are positive role models; they just don't get air time. The only gays that make it into the main-stream are ones with lots of drama or ones that are just found out! Otherwise, you can find many positive images in Gay media.

    There are a few employees of the main-stream media though, like Rachel...
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    May 02, 2009 6:35 AM GMT
    Are there really any great role models in the public eye anymore period? It always seems like someone's getting caught up in some kind of crap. If you want good role models look to places where people donate their money, and especially time, and effort into helping a cause. Those are where the role models are.

    In all honesty who gives a crap if the guy who scores 20 touchdowns in a football game is gay. The next story you hear about him he'll probably be in handcuffs because he did something stupid while celebrating his spectacular feat.
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    May 02, 2009 6:36 AM GMT
    cause most gay guys are really fucked up?
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    May 02, 2009 6:55 AM GMT
    xrichx saidA role model should be a real person in your life, not someone you see on tv or movies or music videos or on a box of Wheaties.


    Very good sentiment!
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    May 02, 2009 6:58 AM GMT
    Who's a good role model of any orientation?
  • metta

    Posts: 39078

    May 02, 2009 7:01 AM GMT
    BJJMMAFighter saidOk yes the media is a problem. However I think most "gay" men are not actually being men. They are stating boys and never becoming real men. So the few positive gay role models we have are never portrayed in the media, but still there are very few.

    PS this is my opinion to start a conversation not an attack. So please dont attack me



    What qualities should a gay role model have, in your opinion?
  • coolarmydude

    Posts: 9190

    May 02, 2009 11:50 AM GMT
    Why does gay have to be a qualifier for a good role model? What about a gay-friendly role model, if it's necessary?
  • cbrett

    Posts: 609

    May 02, 2009 11:58 AM GMT
    in australia i think a good gay role model is tim campbell and he is going out with a runner up of australian idol a few years ago anthony callea

    Tim has not alway been out in the public eye but to his friends and family he has been out he is a good aussie guy who happen to be gay
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 02, 2009 12:05 PM GMT
    coolarmydude saidWhy does gay have to be a qualifier for a good role model?

    Traits such as honesty, fidelity, generosity, and courage aren't gender specific. You don't have to look for gay people to find them but there are plenty of everyday gay people whose lives reflect them.
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    May 02, 2009 12:06 PM GMT
    I think its hard to find a good role model period. Whether a person is famous or not, gay or straight, they're still human and bound to make mistakes. Sometimes those mistakes are major ones. People will always disappoint in some way or another.
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    May 02, 2009 12:07 PM GMT
    Michaelangelo Signorile
    Rachel Maddow
    Barney Frank
    John Amaechi
    Some gay athletes
    Some gay musicians

    use google

    As for your assertion that gay men are staying boys and not becoming men, what do you mean and on what criteria are you basing that? Maybe you're hanging out at the mall too much or the local night club or daycare center.


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    May 02, 2009 5:27 PM GMT
    McGay saidMichaelangelo Signorile
    Rachel Maddow
    Barney Frank
    John Amaechi
    Some gay athletes
    Some gay musicians

    use google

    As for your assertion that gay men are staying boys and not becoming men, what do you mean and on what criteria are you basing that? Maybe you're hanging out at the mall too much or the local night club or daycare center.




    Well I just had a thought. What if maybe , me, and other people are just pegon-holing ourselves. What if we just looked for male role models... and not just gay ones?


    McGay- That was more of a comment on the gay party scene. I dont know I just read this book that changed my life its called Androphile by Jack Malebranche and I really understood what it said. And I think that it apllies to many men on this site.
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    May 02, 2009 5:30 PM GMT
    There are a lot actually. You just don't hear about them because either they've been buried in history by straight people censoring out gayness, they're not attractive enough to be interesting to media, they're too 'freakish' to qualify to you as 'positive' even if they DO make very positive contributions to the GLBT struggle for rights (like Quentin Crisp for example), or you simply haven't made the effort to find them and they don't parade their sexuality around even if they're openly gay.

    It all depends on what you mean by 'positive'. Would you consider for instance, an effeminate stereotypical gay man as a 'positive' role model? I would, if he deserved it based on the things he did not on his manliness.

    Anderson Cooper is oft-quoted as a 'positive role model', and I bet it has more to do with his being masculine than the sum of his accomplishments. I mean, he's not a bad guy, but he's hardly a hero compared to the likes of... say... Parinya Charoenphol (formerly Nong Toom), the MTF transgender Muay Thai champion who was openly a kathoey (ladyboy) in her boxing years and paved the way for transgendered and gay athletes to be more accepted in Thailand:

    220px-Nongthoomfairtex.jpg

    And when it comes to famous people (as in Hollywood famous). Nowadays for us 'kids', there are a lot of openly gay young artists out there. Ferras (from "Hollywood's Not America" of American Idol fame), Jay Brennan, Neil Patrick Harris, Rachel Maddow, Dan Savage, etc.

    ferras_packshot_400.jpg

    Not to mention the older invisible cogs and machinery that drives the creative world. Clive Barker for instance, Pedro Almodovar, and countless movie directors, artists, theater directors, dancers, writers etc. that remain faceless to the general public. As well as the the countless volunteers (of whom a lot of you here on RealJock are or were at some point in your life).

    It's changing these days. It's not a case anymore of too few gay men and women coming out in the public eye, it's more a case of we really are a minority and too few of us ever gain the public eye.
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    May 02, 2009 5:35 PM GMT
    I think it would be a lot easier for young people to come out if there were some popular gay role models leading the way.

    The best would be for more athletes to come out and, you never know, some Hollywood film stars. icon_wink.gif

    Until then, we've got Rupert Everett.

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    May 02, 2009 6:42 PM GMT
    I have a few gay friends and acquaintances that are true role models.....that is.....they possess qualities that I admire and can relate to. I learn from them.

    I've had the pleasant experience of being told by other people that I am their role model. Nice.
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    May 02, 2009 6:49 PM GMT
    i think that there are few role models because the ones that have done something great and positive are still low key about their lifestyle... like i watch CNN and i know for sure that there are two news representatives on air that are gay and i admire them as they do a great job at putting a spin on the news of capitol hill. i know your gay come out of the closet CNN anchors.