Are we men?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 02, 2009 9:05 PM GMT
    No matter what your definition of what a man is ( cuz that is a different headache staring forum) do you feel that you are a man first who actually likes men... or a Gay man. It seems like so many people use their sexuality to define them. When its just sex.. isn't it? I mean you do see straight men saying they are an ass man, but its not every part of their life lol. Do you feel that many men consider themselves as being gay before they are men?
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    May 02, 2009 9:10 PM GMT
    I'm ben well before I'm a guy or gay and being gay isn't just sex as you surely already know.

    although what comes first.. I'm a guy..
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 02, 2009 10:15 PM GMT
    lilTanker saidI'm ben well before I'm a guy or gay and being gay isn't just sex as you surely already know.

    although what comes first.. I'm a guy..


    No, you're a little teapot!
  • jgymnast733

    Posts: 1783

    May 02, 2009 10:32 PM GMT
    Well of course i'm a man first, Kids always say " Mister would you cross me?" not gay will you cross me or 'colored' would you cross me... Even though all the above apply, addressing someone ' gender specific' is acceptable...
    Thank you , Emily Post.....
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 02, 2009 10:35 PM GMT
    icon_biggrin.gif I's a lil teapot sort and stout.. here in ma handles here is ma spouts.. when you get all teethy, hear me shouts... noooo teeth or I'll pull it out.. icon_eek.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 02, 2009 10:53 PM GMT
    A 'gay man' is still physically male. Unless you meant 'man' as in a 'masculine man'. The concept of masculinity and femininity is a social illusion, important, yes, but still an illusion.

    What's the difference between a 'man' and a 'gay man' for instance, in your opinion? For that matter what's the difference between a 'man' and a 'woman' disregarding the obvious physical differences?

    Whatever your answer to that, it always will be one thing: it's artificial. All social gender roles are. Everything from wearing skirts vs. pants, to watching football vs. watching soap operas.

    And no, being gay isn't simply about sex, and you should know that. It encompasses everything in terms of attraction including romantic and emotional bonds. A 'man happening to like men' is still gay. Perhaps you're mislead by the '-sexual' in 'homosexual' and equate gayness with only sex. To compare it with straight men is not quite applicable either, because straight men are also just as defined by their heterosexuality as gay men are by theirs. Perhaps even more so, that they have to stereotype homosexuals, bisexuals, and transgenders, and even women just so they will feel safer inside the boundaries of their own ideas of what a 'straight man' should be. Misogyny and homophobia are very closely linked to the 'masculine image' that heterosexual males always want to live up to.

    That said if you meant 'gay' as in the cultural aspect of gayness, then yes some of us are into it, some of us aren't into it, some are apathetic, some are rabid on gay issues. But THAT, isn't necessarily sexual. It's a struggle for the recognition that our attraction to the same sex is real and just as natural as heterosexual attraction and is not motivated nor defined by sexuality, but by the larger human issue of tolerance and equality.

    And no, just because you're gay doesn't mean you listen to purely gay music, or watch only gay shows, gay TV, gay newspapers, gay movies. But most likely you'd gravitate more to them because like it or not, there are differences between you and heterosexuals that simply can't be satisfied elsewhere. You'd gain greater satisfaction, for instance, reading about two men in a love story than a man and a woman. If you do all of those, or some of those, or none of those, so what? You're still a human male.

    The constant assertion of being a 'man' as in a 'masculine man' reminds me of g0ys. A 'man' does not mean a 'straight man'.

    I'm human first.
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    May 02, 2009 10:59 PM GMT
    BJJMMAFighter saidNo matter what your definition of what a man is ( cuz that is a different headache staring forum) do you feel that you are a man first who actually likes men... or a Gay man. It seems like so many people use their sexuality to define them. When its just sex.. isn't it? I mean you do see straight men saying they are an ass man, but its not every part of their life lol. Do you feel that many men consider themselves as being gay before they are men?

    It's sad if this is the way you view being gay.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 02, 2009 11:00 PM GMT
    I say I'm a gay man, but only because saying 'I'm a man gay' is bad grammar. icon_wink.gif
  • gsh1964

    Posts: 388

    May 02, 2009 11:11 PM GMT
    This is who I am:

    I'm a man who is a father, friend, worker, son, brother, ex-husband, taxpayer, american who happens to be emotionally and sexually attracted to men.

    So that's who I am.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 02, 2009 11:14 PM GMT
    i have a dick therefor i am...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 02, 2009 11:15 PM GMT
    Lost_And_Found saidI say I'm a gay man, but only because saying 'I'm a man gay' is bad grammar. icon_wink.gif


    Haha. Brilliant!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 02, 2009 11:16 PM GMT
    you are what you eat

    perhaps I am a dick
    or an ass
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 02, 2009 11:16 PM GMT
    Lost_And_Found saidI say I'm a gay man, but only because saying 'I'm a man gay' is bad grammar. icon_wink.gif


    That's pretty funny L & F...good one.

    MAN first before anything else that defines me.
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    May 02, 2009 11:18 PM GMT
    I say that first and foremost I am Robby. After that, I happen to be a male who is gay.

    I do not need a weekend retreat with 30 other guys who didn't get hugged enough as children and a drum circle to reclaim any masculinity. I don't need anyone else's notions of gender roles or gender normative behaviors to define me. I wake up every morning with the appropriate plumbing and what I assume is the corresponding Y chromosome. That's good enough for me.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 02, 2009 11:18 PM GMT
    No, we are DEVO!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 02, 2009 11:18 PM GMT
    Lost_And_Found saidI say I'm a gay man, but only because saying 'I'm a man gay' is bad grammar. icon_wink.gif


    French will fix that:
    Je suis un homme gay.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 02, 2009 11:23 PM GMT
    Fuck, where's Judith Butler when her contributions might actually do some good. Fuck.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 03, 2009 12:04 AM GMT
    Wait, let me check... Yep, there's a penis. I'm a man.
  • MusicMan87

    Posts: 305

    May 03, 2009 12:11 AM GMT
    whaaaaaat? this is a dumb question. Isn't the choice Gay -> Straight or whatever in between? not Men -> Gay men. Sounds like you're trying to determine between Feminine -> Masculine men. And that has gotten old. We all prefer what we prefer. Who cares
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 03, 2009 12:16 AM GMT
    I am a man because I have a penis... its where I stick it and who I stick it in that makes me gay.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 03, 2009 12:33 AM GMT
    To answer your question, I would say that I feel like a male who is attracted to males, not a "gay male". Gay is very far down on my list of identity characteristics. I say this because I don't think about being gay a lot. Society usually reminds me that I'm gay, not the other way around.

    I'm going to push this a little past the male/gay-male level, because I've always liked this quote:

    "You're not a body with a soul, you're a soul in a body."

    It doesn't make much sense that there would be male souls and female souls, just entities that are capable of awareness.

    That's my answer. Now, I'm going to back to meditating. (I don't really meditate, but I probably should.)
  • barriehomeboy

    Posts: 2475

    May 03, 2009 12:39 AM GMT
    Some people use their disability to define them, and then use that to manipulate non-disabled people to help them. Many gays see their attraction to men as a disablity, and they try to use it to the same end. What you do in bed, either with your boyfriend, or with your wife, a midget, and lizard, is not a disability. You're just another guy on the planet who his own particular attraction to the other humans sharing this little speck of dust in our galaxy. Get over it. Who you're fucking in your less than 100 years of life doesn't really matter in the 4.5 million years that our galaxy has been here.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 03, 2009 12:54 AM GMT
    I'm a man's manicon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 03, 2009 12:56 AM GMT
    This is gotta be the DUMBEST thread EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    And with over 10000 posts, I have seen dumb threads. But this one manages to be offensive and make no sense at the same time.

    funny pictures
  • baldone

    Posts: 826

    May 03, 2009 12:59 AM GMT
    gsh1964 saidThis is who I am:

    I'm a man who is a father, friend, worker, son, brother, ex-husband, taxpayer, american who happens to be emotionally and sexually attracted to men.

    So that's who I am.
    so that sums it up
    could not have said it better myself as that totally defines who i am also
    we are men, we are fathers, employees, employers sons,ex's an so on that happen to like men