Do you want a wedding?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 02, 2009 11:00 PM GMT
    Mistic Man's post about his ex's upcoming nuptials, along with learning today that a couple I know just got "engaged," has me thinking about the gay wedding issue. (That, and all the media attention Miss California has garnered.)

    I've been with my partner for nearly 15 years; we've worn rings for ten, and we're legally registered domestic partners (which here in Broward Co., FL, basically gives us hospital visitation rights). But I feel no strong compulsion for a formal ceremony. So here's my question:Do you want a gay wedding? And what does that look like to you?

    As always, I'm curious to see how opinions fall (or don't) across generational lines . . .
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 02, 2009 11:22 PM GMT
    No. But it's unavoidable if ever, being filipino and all that.

    If I had my own way... eloping would do nicely, thank you very much.
  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    May 02, 2009 11:45 PM GMT
    Yes. Small ceremony of friends and family with a nice meal after.
  • bigtallguy

    Posts: 243

    May 02, 2009 11:52 PM GMT
    Well this certainly complicates things, Calibro.
    I was hoping you and I would have a very large ceremony with everyone we've ever met invited and then a huge dance party after.
    I think we should go to couple's counseling and work this out....
  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    May 03, 2009 12:01 AM GMT
    bigtallguy saidWell this certainly complicates things, Calibro.
    I was hoping you and I would have a very large ceremony with everyone we've ever met invited and then a huge dance party after.
    I think we should go to couple's counseling and work this out....


    Oh stud, if you're the guy walking down the aisle with me, we could do it in McDonalds if that's what you wanted. I'll just shut up, let you do the planning, and smile icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 03, 2009 12:02 AM GMT
    id love a wedding, nothign different, the main concept is love. and eventually i hope to be in that position
  • bigtallguy

    Posts: 243

    May 03, 2009 12:04 AM GMT
    calibro said

    Oh stud, if you're the guy walking down the aisle with me, we could do it in McDonalds if that's what you wanted. I'll just shut up, let you do the planning, and smile icon_biggrin.gif



    perfect. We can now use the money we saved on a relationship therapist to Supersize the meals at the wedding banquet
  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    May 03, 2009 12:07 AM GMT
    bigtallguy said


    perfect. We can now use the money we saved on a relationship therapist to Supersize the meals at the wedding banquet


    and get bon qui qui to do our nuptials?

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  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 03, 2009 12:08 AM GMT
    Yes. If I meet the right guy who falls in love with me and allows me to love him, then yes. In the same manner, my sister and brother wanted their friends and family to see the love of two become one, I would as well. And a reception to remember.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 03, 2009 12:12 AM GMT
    Although I hope to find a wonderful man one day, I have no desire for a wedding. It's a straight Hollywood-fueled cliche.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 03, 2009 12:34 AM GMT
    I think i'd do a city hall wedding with our mums (neither one of our fathers is really in the picture) maybe the sisters, i know my brothers wouldnt want to. But i like the reception idea. drinking and dancing. its what the gays do anyway, right? icon_rolleyes.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 03, 2009 12:44 AM GMT
    Good question. My partner and I will celebrate our 30th in September - and we've been debating and debating whether we should use the occasion to get married - with a party (a wedding, I guess you could call it). We own a house in Massachusetts so it could actually be legal .... but we think we'll just have the party and not get married. We've worn rings for 25 years or so - but being married just doesn't seem important to us. So we'll have a party but we won't call it a wedding party.
  • baldone

    Posts: 826

    May 03, 2009 12:44 AM GMT
    yes yes yes, the wedding, the tuxes, ceremony drinking dancing the who shibang.....
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 03, 2009 12:44 AM GMT
    I'd be happy without the wedding, although there is some charm in thinking about forcing my friends from all over the world to come to my party as they forced me to go to theirs....
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 03, 2009 12:47 AM GMT

    I want a BIG flamboyant wedding. I've always been drawn to the idea of one even if I'm masc and my partner may be too. I always pictured my wedding as being a tribute to all things gay and the gay in both of us. If I were having a wedding in the first place, I guess that means I would be in a pretty friendly place and no doubt most of my friends would be big queens, I'm a big queen underneath all the hair and muscle so no, a stepford straight wedding would not do it for me.

    I like themes, I'm torn between 80's Prom and Gay Rodeo.

    Bein able to go full on 80's throwback with the man I love would justa about make my life. I was young during, but the 80's rocked.

    ....................................................

    If I did go traditional, fine, but I'd want lots and lots of pink.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 03, 2009 2:46 AM GMT
    I hate weddings and I would never want one ever.

    I know, call me a romantic.
  • jgymnast733

    Posts: 1783

    May 03, 2009 2:48 AM GMT
    A small one with close friends only is enough for me..
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 03, 2009 2:50 AM GMT
    We did it, loved it, got rave reviews, and would do it again (and probably will!)

    We live in MA, so we're blessed to have the opportunity. We had the actual ceremony at Cambridge Town Hall, surrounded by best friends. It took about 30 minutes total, and out the door we went!

    Then, a few months later (when the weather in MA was nice) we had our full families come for a celebration. It was a quick redo of the vows we exchanged (about 20 minutes) after a 1 hour cocktail reception. We then took over a swank restaurant and had enough stunning food to feed an army. It was like a giant dinner party! Lots of food, lots of drinks, lots of mingling and gossip and fun. No stuffy bullshittery like the hetero industry makes you believe is required. No "couple's first dance" no "parents dance" and no spotlight on single folks... GAWD all that shit is uncomfortable to watch.

    It's all about you two, so do what you want! Be mindful of your guests' comfort, have it be fun and easy, and realize that you deserve exactly what you want for the money you want to spend.

    As we were planning, "the industry" kept telling us to spend $25K+ and we finally said 'Fuck that!' and had a better, nicer, more-enjoyable event than any other wedding we've been to, for far less.

    Good luck, and congrats on the long history together!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 03, 2009 2:54 AM GMT


    Our wedding was just the two of us and the dog presiding - on a beach in Vancouver at sunset. It was grand! We did the legal stuff years later.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 03, 2009 3:01 AM GMT
    I can't imagine getting married. Probably might change if the right guy came along.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 03, 2009 3:03 AM GMT
    i don't want a wedding or commitment ceremony. ill just need the guy. and it would be quite silly to get married then all of a sudden shit hits the fan.. what would i tell my mother then??
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 03, 2009 3:07 AM GMT
    tereseus1 saidi don't want a wedding or commitment ceremony. ill just need the guy. and it would be quite silly to get married then all of a sudden shit hits the fan.. what would i tell my mother then??


    You bring up a great point, T. I think there's much profiteering to be done off of gay divorces. You just wait - we'll be hearing all about them soon enough. And they're going to be u-g-l-y!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 03, 2009 3:32 AM GMT
    No, I can't imagine ever wanting an actual ceremony. It seems like its mostly for the benefit of others. The only way it would be considered is if it was truly important to my partner because it's only supposed to be about us anyway, right icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 03, 2009 3:35 AM GMT
    Had a very small wedding. Really beautiful.

    Had a semi-big reception. Loads of fun.

    Had a small divorce. Not so fun really.

  • DCEric

    Posts: 3713

    May 03, 2009 3:39 AM GMT
    No. It will be like signing a contract when the day comes.