Required Gayness

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 04, 2009 4:53 AM GMT
    There isn't a lot of 'gayness' in my life. I mean there aren't a lot of gay people that I know. I like all my friends, wouldn't want other ones. There is just a lack of gay people. So I come online onto realjock. It 'eases' the itch you could say. Lots of 'me' and "I,' there, but I'm curious if anyone else knows what I'm talking about.

    A kind of desire for more 'gayness' in one's life.
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    May 04, 2009 12:06 PM GMT
    I get what you mean. I tend to have mostly straight friends and dont really do the gay hangout scenes. With that said would like a few more gay buddies to hang with like at the gym or for a drink at happy hour or somethin. In terms of 'gayness" not interested if they are over the top flamers or anything like that. I dont need more of that in my life.

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    May 04, 2009 12:12 PM GMT
    jpopenb saidI get what you mean. I tend to have mostly straight friends and dont really do the gay hangout scenes. With that said would like a few more gay buddies to hang with like at the gym or for a drink at happy hour or somethin. In terms of 'gayness" not interested if they are over the top flamers or anything like that. I dont need more of that in my life.



    Is it really necessary to insult a significant portion of your gay brethren? The guys that you dismiss as "flamers" have been at the forefront of the LGBT rights movement since Stonewall. Without flamers, you probably wouldn't have the right to post on RealJock.
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    May 04, 2009 12:30 PM GMT
    jprichva said
    Christian73 said Is it really necessary to insult a significant portion of your gay brethren? The guys that you dismiss as "flamers" have been at the forefront of the LGBT rights movement since Stonewall. Without flamers, you probably wouldn't have the right to post on RealJock.

    You go, guy. I'm sick to death of that shit.



    Let´s read it charitably: without the Hilton Perez (or whatever the jerk is called) type drama and horrible caricature of what it means to be gay.

    To the OP. You need one of these:

    portatiles-hello-kitty.jpg
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 04, 2009 12:36 PM GMT
    I know what you mean, but only because I experienced living within a community of lots of gay people for a while, and have forever since missed the experience. For a long while I knew almost nothing of being around other homos, but then I lived in Indianapolis for a few months and all my friends and most of my acquaintances were gay, and lordy do I miss it. Now I'm in a developing country, and am just excited about the fact that one of the new volunteers that's coming is gay so I can get a tiny bit of that feeling back, even only for brief moments.
  • Sayrnas

    Posts: 847

    May 04, 2009 1:36 PM GMT
    LGWC I'm feelin' very much in the same boat.
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    May 04, 2009 1:42 PM GMT
    There isn't a huge gay community in Maine. That is one of the reasons I am moving after I graduate college. I'm looking to go to medical/graduate school in or near a large city, and hopefully that will be the catalyst that gets me out of Maine for good. I have no gay friends... and a lot of the gay people I know are over 40 and in monogomous relationship--which is totally cool... but I want to meet a guy myself... probably closer to my age (but I'm becoming more and more open to older gentlemen).

    Anyway, point is... I don't know a lot of gay people. At college were have a lot of lesbians and gays... but most are still in the college maturity age.

    It sucks.
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    May 04, 2009 1:46 PM GMT
    yup.
    me no know no gay peepole.
    i might have to start raping friends in their sleep.icon_eek.gif
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    May 04, 2009 1:52 PM GMT
    I live in Very gay South Florida
    and whenever I go on trips which I am sometimes required to do
    for my job
    I always am very thankful when I get back and see my first Rainbow bumper sticker

    I always think to myself I'M HOME
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    May 04, 2009 2:27 PM GMT
    GQjock saidI live in Very gay South Florida
    and whenever I go on trips which I am sometimes required to do
    for my job
    I always am very thankful when I get back and see my first Rainbow bumper sticker

    I always think to myself I'M HOME

    Yeah, same here. And having come out late at 45, wasting 30 years when I should have been living gay, I determined I'd spend the rest of my life as involved with the gay world as I could. Been "straight," done that. icon_razz.gif
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    May 04, 2009 3:56 PM GMT
    I agree, Houston has a pretty good Gay scene but I rarely get a chance to go play in the district. icon_sad.gif It's really the reason I got onto Real Jock was to meet other gay guys, in my area and elsewhere and build up my Gay Entourage icon_lol.gif
    all members get a free T-shirt and banana hammock icon_twisted.gif
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    May 04, 2009 4:24 PM GMT
    Christian73 said
    jpopenb saidI get what you mean. I tend to have mostly straight friends and dont really do the gay hangout scenes. With that said would like a few more gay buddies to hang with like at the gym or for a drink at happy hour or somethin. In terms of 'gayness" not interested if they are over the top flamers or anything like that. I dont need more of that in my life.



    Is it really necessary to insult a significant portion of your gay brethren? The guys that you dismiss as "flamers" have been at the forefront of the LGBT rights movement since Stonewall. Without flamers, you probably wouldn't have the right to post on RealJock.


    Christian,73,

    You are right it was stupid and ignorant statement to make. I apologize for making such a statement.

    But I will argue against the "gay brethren" who have paved my way. I have not seen any "gay brethren" helping me out when I was getting my but kicked in school . I did not see any gay brethren around when I first came to grips with being gay and when I came out in the conservative Christian south in the 80's. There was no stonewall, other groups paving the way for me around my neck of the wood in dealing with the $*&@(#& I had to deal with in high school and college. It was my straight family who loved and accepted me for who I am before It was popular for straight families to do that. Otherwise, I did all the that "paving" on my own.


  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 05, 2009 12:53 AM GMT
    Thanks for your response. I'm sorry you had such a terrible experience in school. I can empathize. Despite growing up in New York, with a liberal mom, I was also treated horribly by many of my peers, subjected to verbal and physical assaults almost daily. While it wasn't the case when you and I were growing up, there are organizations now, like GLSEN, that are making things better for gay kids in schools. And those organizations were preceded by much more radical ones that owe their legacy to the trannies, queens and hustlers of Stonewall.
  • baldone

    Posts: 826

    May 05, 2009 1:59 AM GMT
    Red_Vespa said
    GQjock saidI live in Very gay South Florida
    and whenever I go on trips which I am sometimes required to do
    for my job
    I always am very thankful when I get back and see my first Rainbow bumper sticker

    I always think to myself I'M HOME

    Yeah, same here. And having come out late at 45, wasting 30 years when I should have been living gay, I determined I'd spend the rest of my life as involved with the gay world as I could. Been "straight," done that. icon_razz.gif
    agreed
    having come out at 54, married for 30 years and now divorced for a year am slowly starting to build a great group of gay friends, now just have to get out of that damn door and start to socialize but i know what you all are saying, want to be involved and where i live there is not much gayness
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    May 05, 2009 3:59 AM GMT
    When I first came out at 14, I had a group of gay friends and looking back, they were the WORST!!! I guess I hung around them to feel accepted but man, they were not a good group of people. I hear about them every now and then and it's not good things at all. I only have one gay friend and he's almost my boyfriend (LONG STORY!) I'm alot more weary of gay people as my previous friendships I've had have not been very positive experiences. Alas, this is why I joined RealJock. Reading the profiles and forum posts, I know I stumbled into a good group.
  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    May 05, 2009 4:27 AM GMT
    I think it comes down to being able to be yourself with another person who is alike you in that matter. I work in a pretty heterosexual environment, and it's odd always having my buddies talk about the hottest girl, but when a cute guy comes in, I keep my mouth shut. They're great, and they wouldn't mind if I did, but there's something freeing about being around other gay guys. It's nice to be able to look and say things without a second thought about it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 05, 2009 6:48 AM GMT
    Hmmm.... Virginia

    You probably have plenty of gayness around but it's closeted and insecure in it's own gayness. You just need to learn to be better at identifying it, that said it will probably cause you more head aches than if you were elsewhere.

    Good luck
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 05, 2009 9:24 AM GMT
    I have to say that earlier on during the school year when I hardly saw any gayness, I really did miss it.

    Girls just aren't the same.
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    May 06, 2009 7:20 PM GMT
    I personally don't think there is anything in life called "gayness" just human beings, some who happen to be attracted to the same sex. Some gay people I like, some I tolerate and a few I avoid. I could say the same about straight people.

    I don't think I have ever woken up and thought "I need more gay people around me".
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    May 07, 2009 7:14 AM GMT
    LGWC saidThere isn't a lot of 'gayness' in my life. I mean there aren't a lot of gay people that I know. I like all my friends, wouldn't want other ones. There is just a lack of gay people. So I come online onto realjock. It 'eases' the itch you could say. Lots of 'me' and "I,' there, but I'm curious if anyone else knows what I'm talking about.

    A kind of desire for more 'gayness' in one's life.


    I don't have any gay friends in real life either. Before Realjock the first gay community I've been where I actually talked to other gay people about my gayness was an amateur fiction writing site. It made me come to terms with myself better and finally understand I wasn't alone in what I was feeling. Realjock people also helped me come out for the first time in my life last year. Something I would never have had the guts to do.

    There are just some things I can't talk about with straight friends. And I guess the forums here serve as an outlet for everything I've bottled up for years (probably why I post so much too! LOL).

    But yeah, I get what you mean. icon_smile.gif As I've said before to some people here, RJ for now is actually my only window into gay issues for now. Doesn't necessarily mean wanting a bit of 'gayness' into your life means dressing in drag or going out on parties and getting a hello kitty laptop (LOL), but it's nice to have at least people you can talk to about your crush on this guy or your thoughts on the new gay marriage laws, etc.