The Jerks of Online Forums

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    May 04, 2009 12:42 PM GMT
    I had to laugh when reading through these, and of course I usually had a few RJ members in mind for almost each one. See if you can name some.
    http://www.pcworld.com/article/163734/it_takes_a_village_idiot_the_jerks_of_online_forums.html
    This is from PC World, April 26
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    May 04, 2009 2:55 PM GMT
    Fail.

    Love it.
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    May 04, 2009 3:18 PM GMT
    There is too many to mentionicon_eek.gif
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    May 04, 2009 3:33 PM GMT
    I'm still laughing.icon_lol.gif
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    May 04, 2009 3:44 PM GMT
    this one made me laugh the loudest and longest:

    "the antagonizer

    Comment forums are made for divergent viewpoints and intelligent, spirited debate. The Antagonizer, though, takes things to another, more primitive level, resorting to personal attacks and insults in what may be a nostalgic flashback to carefree bygone days as a third-grade bully.

    "Do I even have to explain how stupid of a name Stefan is for a man?" one such person wrote on a popular tech blog's story about Apple's touchscreens. He went on to close his remarks with this jab: "I bet you shave your armpits." That's about as clever as the repartee gets in Antagonizer Land; more often the insights run along the lines of "You bleep!" "Bleep you!" "Bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep!" Proof positive that, online, it isn't difficult for a person to be both loud and boring."
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    May 04, 2009 3:45 PM GMT
    I'm a self-admitted smarty pants.

    And it's "there are too many"

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    May 04, 2009 3:45 PM GMT
    OMG- ghasp, pant- omg this one too:

    "the moderator

    Taking a slightly subtler approach to making visitors feel unwelcome, the Moderator maintains an air of superiority as he bunkers down each day on a particular site's comment section or message board for another 16-hour stint as archivist-in-residence. He's the cool kid--the site vet who's been around for a long time and knows what's what. Leave a message that repeats something someone else said 16 months ago, and he'll let you know about it within minutes.

    "Um, yeah, Newbie0314, we talked about that back when NeverTouchedAWoman24 brought the subject up last May. But thanks for contributing, lol."

    Treating the forum as his own private gated community, the (self-appointed) Moderator seems to have adopted as his personal philosophy the Pythonesque commandment "Every thread is precious." To keep each discussion safe and pure, he will treat any commenter who has fewer than 200 messages to his name as an undocumented invader who doesn't deserve a spot on his beloved forum. All of this, we assume, from the comfort of his parents' basement."


    (caslon?)
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    May 04, 2009 3:49 PM GMT
    third favorite:


    "johnny one word

    This character seems to hate everything about the publication whose forum he frequents, and yet he seemingly never misses a chance to read and comment on a story. (He gets his name because of his tendency to express his dismay in comments of a single word: "Lame." "Whatever." "Wrong." "Fail.")

    It's sad, really: Here's Johnny One-Word trapped by his own loneliness and real-world social ineptitude in an online community dedicated to reviewing and discussing content that he consistently despises. It's like a guy who hates water but spends all his time fishing because it's the only place where he knows he can find other people."
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    May 04, 2009 4:56 PM GMT
    czarodziej saidOMG- ghasp, pant- omg this one too:

    "the moderator

    Taking a slightly subtler approach to making visitors feel unwelcome, the Moderator maintains an air of superiority as he bunkers down each day on a particular site's comment section or message board for another 16-hour stint as archivist-in-residence. He's the cool kid--the site vet who's been around for a long time and knows what's what. Leave a message that repeats something someone else said 16 months ago, and he'll let you know about it within minutes.

    "Um, yeah, Newbie0314, we talked about that back when NeverTouchedAWoman24 brought the subject up last May. But thanks for contributing, lol."

    Treating the forum as his own private gated community, the (self-appointed) Moderator seems to have adopted as his personal philosophy the Pythonesque commandment "Every thread is precious." To keep each discussion safe and pure, he will treat any commenter who has fewer than 200 messages to his name as an undocumented invader who doesn't deserve a spot on his beloved forum. All of this, we assume, from the comfort of his parents' basement."

    (caslon?)


    LOL! icon_lol.gif Love it!!!!
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    May 04, 2009 4:58 PM GMT
    FIRST!!.....ah, shit.
  • Timbales

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    May 04, 2009 7:08 PM GMT
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    May 04, 2009 9:51 PM GMT
    How about the jerk that sees everybody else as a jerk? ... icon_wink.gif
  • MSUBioNerd

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    May 04, 2009 10:26 PM GMT
    Heh. These just look like a subset of the Flame Warriors. I thought it would be fun to see who identifies as which back in December.

    Hmm. The fact that I bring this up makes it possible I'm turning into an Archivist. Oh, well.
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    May 04, 2009 10:34 PM GMT
    MSUBioNerd, please refrain from self-servingly referencing previous threads you created. We don't need guys going back and dragging out another old thread when there is a perfectly serviceable new one. Thank you.

    PS -- please trim your fingernails. The sound of them clacking on your keyboard gives me a migraine.

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    May 04, 2009 10:53 PM GMT
    now now zdrew, we don't need any drama in the threads.... please keep your anger to yourself so we can all have a civil discussion without hurt feelings...

    lol
  • MSUBioNerd

    Posts: 1813

    May 04, 2009 10:57 PM GMT
    In all fairness, zdrew could just be annoyed that he posted in that previous "guy above you" thread and the guy after him didn't play along.

    On the other hand, he was called hot, so it's hard to see him being too upset.

    And, as I pointed out in e-mail: "To fulfill my Android tendencies, I shall point out that my fingernails do not extend past the pads at the ends of my fingers, so they do not, in fact, clack on the keys. As such, it is logically impossible for you to hear them doing so."

    If I was really feeling weird, I'd link to some medical journals discussing causes of migraines. ;)
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    May 04, 2009 11:16 PM GMT
    Eff you, Czarodziej, efffffffff youuuuuuuuuuu! You douches are all the same, attacking me for no reason whatsoever. That's what I hate about this place, everybody is always attacking me and here I am not doing anything at all! YOU SMELL LIKE SKEEZY CHEESE AND YOU'RE NOT REALLY THAT HOT!!!!!

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    May 04, 2009 11:21 PM GMT
    We have Rogue, er, zdrew, who absorbs all the powers of the other jerks and manifests them for a post or two before it wears off. Everybody stand back.
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    May 04, 2009 11:25 PM GMT
    I think I'm somewhere between Evil Clown and Yuk Yuk, maybe a touch of Loopy.
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    May 04, 2009 11:27 PM GMT
    GuerrillaSodomite saidI think I'm somewhere between Evil Clown and Yuk Yuk, maybe a touch of Loopy.


    I just sneezed while reading that and toooootally read it as saying you were an Evil Touch.
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    May 04, 2009 11:30 PM GMT
    zdrew said
    GuerrillaSodomite saidI think I'm somewhere between Evil Clown and Yuk Yuk, maybe a touch of Loopy.


    I just sneezed while reading that and toooootally read it as saying you were an Evil Touch.


    I prefer Bad Touch thank you very much. If I go straight to Evil then it's harder to lure 'em into my van with no windows with promises of puppies and candy.
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    May 04, 2009 11:33 PM GMT
    Damn, that was you?!?! *jumps in*
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    May 04, 2009 11:37 PM GMT
    zdrew saidDamn, that was you?!?! *jumps in*


    Devil Smiley Pictures, Images and Photos
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    May 04, 2009 11:51 PM GMT
    czarodziej saidOMG- ghasp, pant- omg this one too:

    "the moderator

    Taking a slightly subtler approach to making visitors feel unwelcome, the Moderator maintains an air of superiority as he bunkers down each day on a particular site's comment section or message board for another 16-hour stint as archivist-in-residence. He's the cool kid--the site vet who's been around for a long time and knows what's what. Leave a message that repeats something someone else said 16 months ago, and he'll let you know about it within minutes.

    "Um, yeah, Newbie0314, we talked about that back when NeverTouchedAWoman24 brought the subject up last May. But thanks for contributing, lol."

    Treating the forum as his own private gated community, the (self-appointed) Moderator seems to have adopted as his personal philosophy the Pythonesque commandment "Every thread is precious." To keep each discussion safe and pure, he will treat any commenter who has fewer than 200 messages to his name as an undocumented invader who doesn't deserve a spot on his beloved forum. All of this, we assume, from the comfort of his parents' basement."


    (caslon?)


    Ha, ha!! Yeah, I wasn't going to say it, but...

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    May 05, 2009 12:07 AM GMT
    That is friggin hysterical..
    so true for the habitual posters here, some of who already have to this topic...
    they post SOOO much, I wonder how they have time to work AND go to the gym (guess they don't do either eh?)
    glad someone posted THIS
    LMAO