Enjoying success at the expense of someone else?

  • styrgan

    Posts: 2017

    May 04, 2009 10:58 PM GMT
    So today I was thinking about how a lousy economy really accelerates zero-sum games. And granted strict competition with a definable "winner" and "loser" can be fine and productive when you're talking about sports or dating. But is it just as good when you're talking about people's careers or livelihoods?

    Have any of you guys ever taken, or been given something (a promotion, an incentive, an account, or whatever), when you knew that someone else would be very seriously hurt by it?
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    May 05, 2009 12:27 AM GMT
    get over the concept that life is suppose to be fair..

    I've given work to someone who was more suited to the job then another person, my concern isn't who is going to suffer less but that the job gets done as best is possibly can.

    if something is given to you because your the best person for the job then so be it.. if you got there through lying and cheating that's another problem entirely.
  • kaccioto

    Posts: 284

    May 05, 2009 12:39 AM GMT
    my bonus was (and will be) bailout money..

    i'm good at my job but by no means do i think i deserve the asinine amount i make in comparison to the effort/hours i put in when sayyy, ie the corp lawyers on our deals work twice as many hours and get half what front office gets..i just figured how the system worked back in college..

    ..and to this day it still AMAZES me why the very people who complain about the 'rich' (and rightfully so) continue to vote for people who don't have their best interests at hand, just a lot of hopeful rhetoric..

    honestly, i get tired of trying to open people's eyes when i'm met with idiotic remarks, like 'log cabin' (though i and hubby voted blue, along with the rest of wall sreet), or conspiracy theorist..i'm more at the point where i just sigh instead of fight back and am learning to begin to truly enjoy the fruits of my 'labor.' feels pretty good to be honest.
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    May 05, 2009 12:48 AM GMT
    If people spent more time working toward getting 'their own' and less time worried about 'the Joneses' - this topic would be moot.

    You can't worry about others, what they're getting, etc. (That's not to rule out compassion, concern, charity, etc. I'm talking existentially in terms of being practical about a life. Live yours, not someone else's.)

    You came into the world a squishy gooey mess; you'll go out a wrinkled, dried mess. Best perhaps to fill the space in between with more doing, less worrying.
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    May 05, 2009 1:32 AM GMT
    lilTanker saidget over the concept that life is suppose to be fair..

    I've given work to someone who was more suited to the job then another person, my concern isn't who is going to suffer less but that the job gets done as best is possibly can.

    if something is given to you because your the best person for the job then so be it.. if you got there through lying and cheating that's another problem entirely.


    As much as it pains me to agree with Liltanker, he has summed it up perfectly.

    As for this economy....I love it. Making a killing between stocks and real estate buys. This is the time to take any disposable cash you have and buy, Buy, BUY!!!!!

    Even if you are unsure, just take a small amount of $4-5K and play with it. Once you're hooked and you learn more and more, you will be making a killing. If you find it isn't for you, then you have only lost $4 or $5K

    Maybe this sounds a bit evil/twisted, but success at someone elses expense, is all the more sweet! As long as you did it upfront. (So they know where the knife came from.) icon_twisted.gif

    Cheers,
    Keith
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  • styrgan

    Posts: 2017

    May 05, 2009 1:37 AM GMT
    Hmmmm. This was actually not at all helpful.
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    May 05, 2009 1:45 AM GMT
    styrgan saidHmmmm. This was actually not at all helpful.


    LOL! There's a bloody shocker.
    -Keith
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    May 05, 2009 2:49 AM GMT

    Show potential employers that picture of you disoriented, red faced from boozing it up all night, dressed badly, and toasting the camera (who does that?). You'll be sure to get passed. Then, they can give the job to that other person who is less qualified than you, maybe lacks the personality traits, appeal, skills, or whatever it is employers are trained to look for that you had. They can hire him over you, he can be inept; they can then have to fire him and resume their search when it could have ended with you....DOES THAT SEEM FAIR!

  • styrgan

    Posts: 2017

    May 05, 2009 2:51 AM GMT
    GuiltyGear said
    Show potential employers that picture of you disoriented, red faced from boozing it up all night, dressed badly, and toasting the camera (who does that?). You'll be sure to get passed. Then, they can give the job to that other person who is less qualified than you, maybe lacks the personality traits, appeal, skills you have, or whatever it is employers are trained to look for. They can hire him over you, he can be inept, they can then have to fire him and resume their search when it could have ended with you....DOES THAT SEEM FAIR!



    Actually, it does.
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    May 05, 2009 2:53 AM GMT
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    May 05, 2009 3:15 AM GMT
    In the past I've stepped on a few people to get a ahead, but only when they tried to bring me down first. If someone is just better than I am, or is smart enough to get noticed before me, then I accept it. They beat me fair and square. The minute someone tries to get ahead by bringing me down, all bets are off. I've always been squeaky clean when it comes to policy and procedure at all my jobs, the same can rarely be said about the other guy. The nice thing is many of my employers have had loss prevention "bounties" and all it takes is a very watchful eye and a few phone calls for me to collect.
  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    May 05, 2009 3:23 AM GMT
    Often one's success hinges on someone else failing. You get accepted into a university another person was rejected by, you got the job instead of someone else... there's only so many spots available. You can't get everything, you can't be sore when you don't, and you can't feel bad about earning your position in life if you do it fairly.
  • Sirkit

    Posts: 182

    May 05, 2009 3:27 AM GMT
    Yes, I figure allowing someone to fail isn't my responsibility and it's bonus if it makes me look better.
  • styrgan

    Posts: 2017

    May 05, 2009 3:42 AM GMT
    calibro saidOften one's success hinges on someone else failing. You get accepted into a university another person was rejected by, you got the job instead of someone else... there's only so many spots available. You can't get everything, you can't be sore when you don't, and you can't feel bad about earning your position in life if you do it fairly.


    This is true. But the metric there is actually healthy competition. In the corporate sector, I'm not convinced it is anymore.

    The only reason I still have a job is that I cost my employer significantly less than the people who have been onboard for 15 years. It's not because I'm better than them at a specific job. Half of the guys who responded to this thread clearly have no idea how HR works.

    If that is how one has earned a position or a promotion or an incentive, how can you say that it is fair?
  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    May 05, 2009 4:19 AM GMT
    styrgan said

    This is true. But the metric there is actually healthy competition. In the corporate sector, I'm not convinced it is anymore.

    The only reason I still have a job is that I cost my employer significantly less than the people who have been onboard for 15 years. It's not because I'm better than them at a specific job. Half of the guys who responded to this thread clearly have no idea how HR works.

    If that is how one has earned a position or a promotion or an incentive, how can you say that it is fair?


    That's a sad truth, but not really something you're responsible for. You being a cheaper employee isn't your fault, and it would be wrong for your coworkers to resent you since you're not the one making the decisions. I get why you'd feel empathetic, but that doesn't equate to feeling guilty.
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    May 05, 2009 4:46 AM GMT
    styrgan saidThis is true. But the metric there is actually healthy competition. In the corporate sector, I'm not convinced it is anymore.

    The only reason I still have a job is that I cost my employer significantly less than the people who have been onboard for 15 years. It's not because I'm better than them at a specific job. Half of the guys who responded to this thread clearly have no idea how HR works.

    If that is how one has earned a position or a promotion or an incentive, how can you say that it is fair?

    Yes.. I'm sure half of us haven't a clue how HR works.. let alone a business.. none of us would know much about that..

    Your bitching because you get to keep your job.. then quit and stop bitching about it.
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    May 05, 2009 4:52 AM GMT
    god you are one sour puss.

    To be honest, if I didn't like someone, they were in my way of a higher salary - I'm taking them out.
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    May 05, 2009 4:56 AM GMT
    It's a Dog eat Dog world out there - winners and losers. Be grateful for every transaction - every investment - every client.

    (I guess instead of Dog eat Dog - we all can say Man eat Man).icon_cool.gif
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    May 05, 2009 5:49 AM GMT
    I don't know there are just sometimes losers and winners in life and it's no one's fault. Sometimes you're just either lucky, or you're a victim of circumstance. As long as one conducts their business with integrity and doesn't intentionally harm others, then they have no need to feel guilty. Maybe you're experiencing some survivor's remorse so to speak?

    A lot of the times the people who are perceived as victims are actually responsible for their fates in varying degrees. People get a bit too comfortable and do some crazy stuff at the work place.
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    May 05, 2009 11:49 AM GMT
    StryganThe only reason I still have a job is that I cost my employer significantly less than the people who have been onboard for 15 years. It's not because I'm better than them at a specific job. Half of the guys who responded to this thread clearly have no idea how HR works.


    I think the idea that the best person always gets the job was always nonsense, don't beat yourself up about it.





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    May 05, 2009 11:54 AM GMT
    styrgan said The only reason I still have a job is that I cost my employer significantly less than the people who have been onboard for 15 years.

    If this is causing you so much angst why not go to HR and tell them to fire you instead!
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    May 05, 2009 12:19 PM GMT
    Lost_And_Found said
    StryganThe only reason I still have a job is that I cost my employer significantly less than the people who have been onboard for 15 years. It's not because I'm better than them at a specific job. Half of the guys who responded to this thread clearly have no idea how HR works.


    I think the idea that the best person always gets the job was always nonsense, don't beat yourself up about it.






    He is the best person for the job... his employers have decided that he is cheap enough, he performance is satisfactory and he doesn't rock the boat and he's unlikely to demand more money or a higher position.

    He is someone, who will stay out of the way, do his job and not ask for anything in more in return..

    so...

    They keep him.
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    May 05, 2009 2:17 PM GMT



    Someone once told me that, "Life isn't fair, it's only mankind that can make it so.."

    -Doug

    "The corporate mind-set is a form of brain damage" - retiring boss.

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    May 05, 2009 2:24 PM GMT
    I know exactly what you are talking about.

    I have actually been on the job hunt for about 6 months going on interviews and such. I am lucky, I currently have a job, but I am just in the market to move up and get myself into a better situation. Lately I have been thinking about all the people out there who don't even have jobs who are applying and interviewing for the same jobs as I.

    Maybe I am lucky, but I actually turned down to job offers because I felt like it wasn't the right spot for me. Hopefully it helped someone else out.

    I agree with lilTanker though -- life isn't fair. Circle of life, the food chain, someone always comes out on top!
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    May 05, 2009 2:36 PM GMT


    When I was at the Credit Union back in the 70s I applied on positions along with a pile of gals in the office and I always won them - then turned them down.

    Why? Because the gals applying were the often the ones that had trained me.

    I was a shoo-in because I was the only one with a penis. That pissed me off.
    The way it worked then was that if I reneged, the next in line got the job.
    How fair was it that I could get ahead after only a year or so whereas Joan who trained me, was an expert, and had 20 years, was passed over for me?

    Eventually the regional newsletter for the central credit union decided they wanted to interview me. Voila, an entire column dedicated to this rather odd young man who put others ahead of himself. icon_lol.gif I made a lot of women happy.

    (Needless to say my career was black-balled after that article came out! So I went to the phone co.)


    -Doug