When you are invited to birthday party and told no gifts, should you bring one anyway?

  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    May 05, 2009 7:13 PM GMT
    I'm going to a 30th birthday party for a guy from my volleyball league. It's a surprise party, and I was told 'no gifts, just a card' by the person organizing it.

    It goes against my nature to show up with just a card. If I'm the only person who brought a gift, I'll feel like an ass. If I'm the only person who doesn't bring one, I'll feel like an ass, too. Argh.
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    May 05, 2009 7:17 PM GMT
    Get one, leave it in the car. If others brought gifts, bring yours in, if not, keep it.
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    May 05, 2009 7:17 PM GMT
    You don't want to be the one person who shows up with a giant gift wrapped box when no one else did...You're setting your self up for some serious dirty looks and social exclusion with that one...

    How about you bring something to contribute to the party, or call around and see what everyone else is bringing
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    May 05, 2009 7:18 PM GMT
    I hate receiving presents and always specify "no gifts".

    There are some that insist. Personally, I would be happier if the gift givers would just make a donation to charity.
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    May 05, 2009 7:18 PM GMT
    if they say no gifts, then no gifts.

    I normally don´t like gifts: people buy me stuff I don´t really want and it ends up in a cupboard (but I am 5 or 50 times more "uncluttered space" than most north americans). I feel bad that someone spent the money on something i don´t want. i also hate good luck cards as they make me nervous (you think I need luck? Damn this is worse than I thought). Actually, I don´t like birthday cards either unless you are a direct blood relative or we are sleeping in the same bed for more than several months icon_eek.gif
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    May 05, 2009 7:18 PM GMT
    How about a gift card to go with the card. Just make sure it's not from one of those stores that are on the verge of bankruptcy
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    May 05, 2009 7:18 PM GMT
    McGay's idea is good. It's at a restaurant, so I'd feel odd bringing food or drink.
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    May 05, 2009 7:19 PM GMT
    I would still bring a card.
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    May 05, 2009 7:21 PM GMT
    McGay saidGet one, leave it in the car. If others brought gives, bring yours in, if not, keep it.


    I'll have what he's having icon_wink.gif
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    May 05, 2009 7:21 PM GMT
    No gifts. The organizer is undoubtedly bringing the ONE gift to put everyone else to shame, so don't mess with his plan.
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    May 05, 2009 7:21 PM GMT
    mickeytopogigio saidNo gifts. The organizer is undoubtedly bringing the ONE gift to put everyone else to shame, so don't mess with his plan.


    did you get his call about jumping out of the cake? icon_biggrin.gif
  • Puppy80

    Posts: 451

    May 05, 2009 7:22 PM GMT
    I think McGay has the right idea. Since you said it's at a restaurant it's easy to excuse yourself to slip out to your car and grab your gift if you see others have brought them, or leave it if they haven't.
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    May 05, 2009 7:25 PM GMT
    I like 26mileman's idea- Make a donation to his/her favorite charity ( can you tell who works for the non profit)..
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    May 05, 2009 7:29 PM GMT
    Timberoo saiddid you get his call about jumping out of the cake?
    Yes, but I won't be gift-wrapped, to preserve the spirit of the party.
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    May 05, 2009 7:32 PM GMT
    [quote][cite]mickeytopogigio said[/cite]
    Timberoo saiddid you get his call about jumping out of the cake?
    Yes, but I won't be gift-wrapped, to preserve the spirit of the party.[/quotee]

    excellent
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    May 05, 2009 7:33 PM GMT
    No.. unless it's a lesbian's party. Happened once and no one brought gifts and lemme tell you.. somewhere out in outer space echos the screams of one pissed off woman...
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    May 05, 2009 7:37 PM GMT
    I love giving birthday gifts. I'll skip you on Christmas before I'll skip your birthday. So for 'no gift' parties I always slip a $25 Starbucks gift card or Target gift card into the larger birthday card that features some sort of scantily clad humor.
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    May 05, 2009 7:41 PM GMT
    bikingOH saidNo.. unless it's a lesbian's party. Happened once and no one brought gifts and lemme tell you.. somewhere out in outer space echos the screams of one pissed off woman...

    This is good information to know. Thanks for the heads up. icon_lol.gif
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    May 05, 2009 7:41 PM GMT
    RunintheCity saidI love giving birthday gifts. I'll skip you on Christmas before I'll skip your birthday. So for 'no gift' parties I always slip a $25 Starbucks gift card or Target gift card into the larger birthday card that features some sort of scantily clad humor.


    agreed. It is impossible to judge someone for being thoughtful.. especially if it is discrete.
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    May 05, 2009 7:45 PM GMT
    If someone threw me a suprise party and told the guests not to bring gift, I'd be like , WTF!? with that person. What's a birthday without presents?
  • Medic911

    Posts: 152

    May 05, 2009 7:46 PM GMT
    YES!!! But only to avoid an awkward moment. Buy something you might like for yourself, then leave it wrapped in the trunk.

    If you need it, you have it... if not, you can keep it!

    Win-win situation

    <3

    Taylor
  • MSUBioNerd

    Posts: 1813

    May 05, 2009 7:48 PM GMT
    No. If you're told no gifts, then no gifts. Cards can be nice, but gift cards are, indeed, gifts.

    Then again, I'm a big proponent of saying what you mean and meaning what you say. It makes life a lot easier for everyone if people would just drop the mind games.
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    May 05, 2009 8:13 PM GMT
    could be one of those craiglist code things

    no gifts= don't bring a cheap ass gift and expect to do "it's the thought that counts crap"!
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    May 05, 2009 8:36 PM GMT
    No gifts means: "DON'T BRING A GIFT!"
  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    May 05, 2009 8:40 PM GMT
    I say bring something that counts as a gift, but doubles as a thanks for the moment type of thing. Like a bottle of wine to be enjoyed during the party.