I've been thinking about this too a lot lately. Being the logical type I am, I figure the people I think are worthwhile to date probably think that THEY can do better than me, meanwhile I think I can do better than the people I can easily date.
So it's a toughie: date the easy (not easy sexually, just that they are little or no challenge because they are desperate and have lower self esteem) or date the challenge, even knowing that they might see you as less deserving of themselves.
It's like that old song goes, if you can't be with the one you love, love the one your with. Sucks when you're single though and don't have anyone. But the more desperate you become the less attractive you are to those with higher self esteem who are holding out for the "best" option to come along (however they define it).
I think we all need standards though:
I WON'T date possessive guys, been there and done that when I lived in San Antonio and damn near all the guys I dated there didn't want me to even THINK of other guys, but it was cool if they cheated on me...
I'm done with low self esteem guys, I can't be a boyfriend and a life coach if he's not willing to see himself as the great guy I fell in love with.
Finally, I won't do bi or military/cops because they tend to be huge paranoid closet cases or fickle (in the case of bi guys).
I just want a dude similar to me: smart, active, outgoing, ambitious... He doesn't have to be a Greek god and I never bought into the gay community ideal that we should only give our attention to the superficial assholes with sixpacks who flaunt their bodies and treat everyone like shit (we all know those types, and yet we continue to put up with them... Why I have no idea, I think gay men like mental/emotional abuse).
I just want a guy who is equally as active as me so we can do stuff together like camping/hiking, walking around a park, working out, swimming, stuff like that.
Anyway, sorry for the long rambling, just something I've been thinking of a lot every time I go to the gay gym here in Denver and wonder if any of the guys around my age and fitness level there would be interested in me and if we'd click.