When you started getting slimmer / fitter....

  • GettingFitter

    Posts: 158

    May 08, 2009 1:50 AM GMT
    Did you ever feel, well, scared of how people would treat you afterwards or that more people would start thinking of you more in a sexual way that they did before when you were a little overweight and basically not that attractive to anyone ?

    I know I have not posted here in ages, but lately I have been making good gains in my weight loss and starting to feel better about my body and in turn myself, but now instead of gaining more condience I am strangely starting to feel more nervous about how complete strangers will now view me in this new, slimmer version of myself. I do not consider myself ugly or more so before with the added padding, but I think because I have gotten used to being treated like an outcast for so long that now that I am little by little slowly beginning to ' fit in ' as it were to the Real Jock look as some of the members here have, I am wondering what I will do with this new version of myself.

    Am I being stupid or just worrying about nothing ?
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    May 08, 2009 1:56 AM GMT
    It's understandable to me. Just try to remember no matter how people react to you, you're still the same guy.
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    May 08, 2009 3:06 PM GMT
    I went through the transformation that you are going through now. When the changes were happening I was looking forward to the validation and acceptance I felt I had never received before. I did feel bitter towards a few people who had been a bit harsh in their rejections of the past but I sorted that out.

    I firmly believe that when someone changes their body for the better using a good sustainable diet that more than just their body changes. Your core changes right along with you. You are a stronger more disciplined person. You have more pride in yourself and that radiates into all the aspects of your life that you allow it to.

    Congrats on your progress!
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    May 08, 2009 3:15 PM GMT
    You definitely have to have the mental adjustment to being a different guy on the outside. It's taken me a bit more to grow into that.

    Granted, now I'm looking forward to being treated in a more sexual way. icon_twisted.gif
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    May 08, 2009 3:21 PM GMT
    GettingFitter saidDid you ever feel, well, scared of how people would treat you afterwards or that more people would start thinking of you more in a sexual way that they did before when you were a little overweight and basically not that attractive to anyone ?

    I know I have not posted here in ages, but lately I have been making good gains in my weight loss and starting to feel better about my body and in turn myself, but now instead of gaining more condience I am strangely starting to feel more nervous about how complete strangers will now view me in this new, slimmer version of myself. I do not consider myself ugly or more so before with the added padding, but I think because I have gotten used to being treated like an outcast for so long that now that I am little by little slowly beginning to ' fit in ' as it were to the Real Jock look as some of the members here have, I am wondering what I will do with this new version of myself.

    Am I being stupid or just worrying about nothing ?


    No, I've never worried.

    Nothing wrong with looking better naked, feeling better, being sick less, and living longer.

    Sounds like you were fat before, and still have DEEP issues of self-esteem.

    Yep. You're being stupid.

    Come to like yourself. The rest will follow. Until you like yourself, and show yourself, and live in the real world, things will continue to be fucked up.
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    May 08, 2009 5:02 PM GMT
    matt45710 saidI'm looking forward to being treated in a more sexual way.


    yeah when does that start?
    I'm getting ... how shall I say ... "eager"
  • CSPYNY

    Posts: 187

    May 08, 2009 5:25 PM GMT
    I started to attract girls. I wasn't out at the time and there were okay-looking girls interested in me.

    Oh, the excuses I came up with icon_lol.gif
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    May 08, 2009 5:35 PM GMT
    chuckystud said
    Sounds like you were fat before, and still have DEEP issues of self-esteem.

    Yep. You're being stupid.

    Come to like yourself. The rest will follow. Until you like yourself, and show yourself, and live in the real world, things will continue to be fucked up.


    I would totally disagree that you're stupid and/or have self-esteem issues. While that may be the case, it's not just because of this. That's too simplified an answer, Chucky.

    You're a new person, and therefore you're interacting with the world in a new way. It would be the same if you moved to a new place. The situation's different, so you're feeling yourself out. Change is good, but takes some time to adjust.
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    May 08, 2009 5:40 PM GMT
    I just got compliments last night in a cooking class....remarks about my arm muscles and general physique....and I wasnt wearing a tight T-shirt. I had no idea that the muscles under my sleeves showed at all. I was taken aback. I think I uttered a thank you...but my mind was whirling a bit ...perhaps like you, I am not used to such compliments. Boy, it really inspires me to work even harder at the gym. ... icon_biggrin.gif
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    May 08, 2009 5:42 PM GMT
    People will treat you differently, but that's part of the fun. You can even take it a step further and ignore the ones that wouldn't give you the time of day when you were heavier, but are all up in your business now that you've lost weight. That's the most gratifying part of losing weight and getting in shape.
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    May 08, 2009 5:49 PM GMT
    I've been through this phase. It will pass as long as you keep at your goal.

    As for my experiences, I've seen less LTR attention now that I'm thin, and more sexual attention. For instance, I was at Trader Joe's the other day waiting to check out and a guy would not stop staring at me and gesturing. When he started to do this lip touching thing with one hand, and then started to go slowly down his abdomen with the other, I got in the other line. The lines are quite close together, in fact we were back to back, and the next thing I know he's telling the cashier what he would do to my ass! I turned back and looked at him and he licked his lips. icon_eek.gif He was cute and all, but that was too much for me.

    Things like that happen a lot now. Some days I wish I were fat again, but what would I do with my workout time - and how would I cope with the depression. It just comes with the territory and I've had to accept that. You'll be fine though, the exercise doesn't change how you react to assholes so you'll know what to do when you get attention you're not used to.

    Also, there are more LTR options since most men are vain no matter what they are looking for.
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    May 08, 2009 5:56 PM GMT
    Looknrnd saidI've been through this phase. It will pass as long as you keep at your goal.

    As for my experiences, I've seen less LTR attention now that I'm thin, and more sexual attention. For instance, I was at Trader Joe's the other day waiting to check out and a guy would not stop staring at me and gesturing. When he started to do this lip touching thing with one hand, and then started to go slowly down his abdomen with the other, I got in the other line. The lines are quite close together, in fact we were back to back, and the next thing I know he's telling the cashier what he would do to my ass! I turned back and looked at him and he licked his lips. icon_eek.gif He was cute and all, but that was too much for me.

    Things like that happen a lot now. Some days I wish I were fat again, but what would I do with my workout time - and how would I cope with the depression. It just comes with the territory and I've had to accept that. You'll be fine though, the exercise doesn't change how you react to assholes so you'll know what to do when you get attention you're not used to.

    Also, there are more LTR options since most men are vain no matter what they are looking for.


    that would creep me out.

    I can totally understand where you are coming from, even though I'm not turning any heads.
  • GettingFitter

    Posts: 158

    May 13, 2009 12:14 PM GMT
    matt45710 saidYou definitely have to have the mental adjustment to being a different guy on the outside. It's taken me a bit more to grow into that.

    Granted, now I'm looking forward to being treated in a more sexual way. icon_twisted.gif


    I think that is really what I am trying to still get used to as I am getting fitter and in turn turning literally into this whole new person. I know in my head that I am loosing weight and getting better because my pants are getting looser and I need to tighten the belt more, my bum is looking more rounded and pronounced in jeans and my legs are looking really good too and my stomach is flatter. In turn I look in the mirror and see my face is thinner and better proportioned too, so in my head I KNOW I am fitter and better looking, but my feelings on this is perplexed and complex.


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    May 13, 2009 1:03 PM GMT
    I've always been slim and fit. don't know a time when i was never