Dating your boss?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 06, 2007 10:22 PM GMT
    So the only person I've ever been with was my boss. He was the vice president of the corporation I used to work for. A few months ago I left the company so now he isnt my boss, but we're still together (sort of). So I'm wondering if anyone else has experienced this. Or has advice.
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    Nov 06, 2007 11:21 PM GMT
    Yeah, Been there, Done that.

    When I was a MSG in the Army I had a relationship with my 1LT for about a year and a half before he was transfered and I left.

    When I was at IBM I dated a Exec VP briefly.

    Advice for those 'seeing/dating/having sex with' their boss: Be careful as hell.

    Advice for your relationship now that you no longer work there: Enjoy.

    PS: In my experience you are either together or you are not. If you feel you are "...still together (sort of)...", then there may be more than a bit of wishful thinking or self deception on your part. It doesn't bode well for the future.
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    Nov 06, 2007 11:33 PM GMT
    I been with the boss a loooooong time. Literally and figuratively. He didn't become my boss, though, until we'd been together for a looooooong time. As much as I wanted my career path to have been simply sleeping my way to the top, it didn't work out that way. He has needs, that only I, as a seasoned professional IT guy and setter of people's VCR clocks, could satisfy. Such were his appetites and now I'm enslaved to his every whim, professionally and culinarily.
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    Nov 06, 2007 11:38 PM GMT
    McGay wrote: "I been with the boss a loooooong time. Literally and figuratively. He didn't become my boss, though, until we'd been together for a looooooong time... He has needs, that only I, as a seasoned professional IT guy and setter of people's VCR clocks, could satisfy. Such were his appetites and now I'm enslaved to his every whim, professionally and culinarily."

    icon_lol.gif Yeah - But McGay, I don't think he was really refering to Kelly and Tartine.
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    Nov 06, 2007 11:40 PM GMT
    There's something to be said for running things doggy style.

    I never refer to my bitches, though, as 'he'. icon_eek.gif
  • EricLA

    Posts: 3461

    Nov 07, 2007 12:22 AM GMT
    Many of my bosses have been women, so the answer to that is no.

    And generally, the guys I'm into are younger than me. At my last job we had interns, none of which worked directly for me, but there were a few who caught my interest.

    But "fishing off the company pier" gets a little complicated, doesn't it?
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    Nov 07, 2007 12:50 AM GMT
    Well, I'm sort of the other way round. I have been the boss of my department for many years and when I first got the job, one very young and cute guy started working for me from another outlet.

    He put the hit on me something fierce, but I had always told myself that I would never date staff. Although he was gorgeous and definitely into me, I abstained.

    My motto is "Don't Shit In Your Own Nest" and it has worked for me along my career. I know of department heads who have wound up in all sorts of mess by dating their employees. Not for me, thanks.
  • irishboxers

    Posts: 357

    Nov 07, 2007 1:08 AM GMT
    Speaking from a legal point of view, most companies have fraternization policies that forbid this kind of thing (supervisors dating direct reports), so you have to ask yourself if it's worth losing your (and his) job. If the answer is "yes, it is", then on to my next point...

    Most of the guys in my department are gay, but we all know better than to go any farther than just friends. A manager out in the stores is another thing, but we've unofficially outlawed dating in the office (and we have the above-mentioned policy in place). Workplace romances rarely work out and, even if they do, always create awkward dynamics. Fishing off the company pier, shitting in your nest, call it what you want, but I've seen it go badly, very badly, more often than I've gotten committment ceremony invites.
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Nov 07, 2007 1:49 AM GMT
    never worked for a gay or attractive man
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    Nov 07, 2007 2:30 AM GMT
    haha, yep shitting where you eat is not smart. For the dating thing I've always had the same rules for myself, and so did he. We actually just started out as work buddies, then he showed me a shortcut home one day, then I came by to drop something off, then we started watching tv and listening to each others music. So on and so forth for months. We both had perfect chemistry and we both made each other laugh a lot. Long story short, he came on to me one night and I didnt stop it. Well actually I did stop it halfway through and went home, cause I didnt want to screw up my work life. Over the next week things were just so cool between us I figured maybe he was the one for me. So it became more, and has been for close to a year now. I actually think we are much closer and happier now that I dont work there. I think I'm the only one out there who actually dated their boss and successfully became lover/friends and stayed that way. Hmmm..... maybe I just lucked out.icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 07, 2007 2:33 AM GMT
    I had the good fortune to spend a weekend working for my boyfriend recently (his company was short staffed). Having him boss me around in public was hot...
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    Nov 07, 2007 2:38 AM GMT
    haha, funny how you mention the bossing around thing. I hated it when he would try that shit at work, but in bed I'd be wet and throbbin in seconds when he would tell me what to do. funny.icon_biggrin.gif
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    Nov 07, 2007 2:51 AM GMT
    I worked in an eye doctor's office for 4 years and dated my boss the entire time. While most people say that working with your boyfriend/partner can ruin a relationship, I think that it helped out our relationship.

    I was going to school full time while working 40 hours a week, so we were able to see each other during the day. Furthermore, we were busy doing our respective jobs ... We were doing entirely different things in the office.

    While one co-worker had a major problem with it, the rest of my co-workers were fine with it. I think that the key thing about the arrangement is to have established ground rules ... To the effect that both parties won't put themselves in ambiguous positions that could lead to favoritism.
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    Nov 07, 2007 3:50 AM GMT
    I worked at a grocery store my first year in college and started seeing the assistant manager. He was out, as was I, but he feared that if anyone found out about us, it would cost him his job. It didn’t last long. After that I tried not to get involved with coworkers.

    That didn't stop me from dating my boss’s son who came to work for us last summer while he was on break from college. He hadn’t come out to his family yet (and still hasn’t), so we tried to be careful. I guess we didn’t do our best to hide it, because the rest of my coworkers knew. Either my boss was in denial or oblivious. I mean how many times can two people go retrieve files from the archives, come back an hour later with one piece of paper and then have to go back and file it away a few hours later?

    To this day I can’t look at her when she talks about her son for fear that the smile on my face will tell a story I don’t want her to know. If you think dating your boss can ruin your working relationship, imagine being the one who’s done dirty things with her baby.
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Nov 07, 2007 11:27 AM GMT
    Dating a boss isn't really the smartest thing to do
    ... it puts you in a position of less power
    not good in an emotional situation
  • zakariahzol

    Posts: 2241

    Nov 08, 2007 2:40 AM GMT
    My first live in partner , for 2 years was my boss. I was a Mc Donald crewperson and he is my manager. It start as a joke , then I invite him to my apartment for a OIJE board gay. In the dark holding the oije pointer , we are touching finger . I then ask him what he think about gay people. Latter I tell him I have a crash on him. Amazingly he say he also have a crash on me.We start hugging and kissing . A few days latter I moved into his apartment.

    This are old memory, something happen 19 years ago.
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    Dec 28, 2007 10:58 AM GMT
    that very fine lad strongbolt said, 'haha, funny how you mention the bossing around thing. I hated it when he would try that shit at work, but in bed I'd be wet and throbbin in seconds when he would tell me what to do. funny'

    it's a funny old thing the way we want to be boss in so many situations but in bed we want the roles reversed. i've held fairly high status at work for most of my adult life, not really by design it just seems to have happened that way, so i love it when a guy takes the lead. however, the first sign of twattishness, stupidity, unforgiveable ignorance and it's straight back to being-in-charge mode. pride maybe?
  • HotCoach

    Posts: 247

    Apr 10, 2008 3:24 PM GMT
    Yeah, did that for 4 years. But he was married so I finally left and moved far away. We still keep in touch though. I'm still the escape valve for his gay side.
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    Apr 10, 2008 3:29 PM GMT
    The Boss never really did it for me....

    bruce.jpg
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    Apr 10, 2008 4:21 PM GMT
    Many Moon's ago when i was young and cute my Boss did everything he could to get me into Bed but l did not like older men at that time and still do not.

    But l never dated ever at work and that was one of My Ten Commandments!
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    Apr 11, 2008 11:22 AM GMT
    Hell, Shania Twain's married to her producer. icon_wink.gif