gift card: thoughtfull or insulting?

  • rnch

    Posts: 11524

    May 08, 2009 4:55 PM GMT
    my car mechanic and I have been friends for over 30 years, we worked together during my summer "vacations" from college.

    we've stayed in touch over the years, his wife and kids seem to like me also.

    he seldom charges me full price for any mechanical or air conditioning work he does for me. several times he has added freon to my car or truck's a/c and refused payment. last winter he changed the heater core on my town car (not an easy task!) and flatly refused any payment for his time and labor.

    i'm thinking of getting a gift card from the grocery store that he and his wife shop at and mailing it to him, with a short note expressing my gratitude for all he has done for me and my vehicles over the years.

    if you were he.......would you take that as an insult, compliment or something else?
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    May 08, 2009 5:28 PM GMT
    not the grocery

    get a mall card instead.
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    May 08, 2009 5:30 PM GMT
    I don't think a gift would be an insult. Maybe you should see if you can get him a Snap-On gift certificate instead though.
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    May 08, 2009 5:40 PM GMT
    I think it's nice. Go for it!
  • WCBacus

    Posts: 21

    May 08, 2009 6:11 PM GMT
    Not at all. Just be sure its to something you know he'll use. However on the contrary, if my bestfriend got me a gift card or a close close friend then id be having some issues and shit.

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    May 08, 2009 6:12 PM GMT
    Maybe to a restaurant so he and his wife can go out for a nice dinner?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 08, 2009 7:46 PM GMT
    Or a prepaid visa gift card. That way it's not so specific and he can use it wherever.

    I think it's a good idea. icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 08, 2009 7:48 PM GMT
    Just make sure the amount is considerable. A $20 or $40 gift card would indeed be an insult. Make it $100 or more at least.
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    May 08, 2009 7:51 PM GMT
    I prefer practical gifts. The Visa card is a great idea as it can be used anywhere.
  • DCEric

    Posts: 3713

    May 08, 2009 9:00 PM GMT
    pdxor saidI prefer practical gifts. The Visa card is a great idea as it can be used anywhere.


    The only problem is that some of the value is lost, because you have to pay Visa for the card.

    I'd be happy with a gift card- just don't make it groceries unless you know they are going through hard times.
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    May 08, 2009 9:07 PM GMT
    I've give Giant Eagle grocery gift cards to family as "thank you" gifts....I'm tired of giving gifts that end up in the closet or that get eaten up by fees.
    They go grocery shopping every week or so...I know they'll use it.
    With the money they save on groceries they can do whatever they want. That's what I'm really giving them.
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    May 08, 2009 9:20 PM GMT
    We all gotta have food but, I dunno, if someone gave me a grocery gift card I'd be like ... ummm ok. Thank you. It's just a little random. I'd rather best buy or maybe just a visa check card with money on it. Just my young stupid spoiled opinion.
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    May 08, 2009 9:21 PM GMT
    A gift card can be considered insulting, and its definitely not personable, it reflects who u r. If u just take da time out and do sumthin nice from ur heart, i am sure da mechanic will luv u still. icon_lol.gif
  • baldone

    Posts: 826

    May 08, 2009 11:25 PM GMT
    having just filed bankruptcy and am loosing my house, my birthday was this past week and my daughter got me gift cards for gas and to the grocery store that i shop at...my son got me starbucks...so all great and pratical, at this stage not insulting but much appreciated
  • barriehomeboy

    Posts: 2475

    May 09, 2009 1:30 AM GMT
    the gift card is a tip. You have to hand it to him, just like cash. Period.
  • brianstephens

    Posts: 96

    May 10, 2009 7:29 AM GMT
    I would rather get money...

    Or if a gift card is a MUST, give them a Visa gift card.
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    May 10, 2009 7:54 AM GMT
    WCBacus saidHowever on the contrary, if my bestfriend got me a gift card or a close close friend then id be having some issues and shit.

    My best friend ever got me a gift card to the movie theater last year for my b-day. I gave him the look. Not only has he known me for 18 years, he works at the movie theater as a part-time job during law school.

    I didn't give him the look because I didn't appreciate the gift, but, well, movies are free because I always go with him so...I still have the gift card 357 days later.
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    May 10, 2009 8:25 AM GMT
    It may be viewed, not as an insult, but somewhat awkward. He's giving you "gifts" of service, and you giving a gift back is almost like you're not accepting his gifts. Plus, to him, he's doing it because of your personal relationship and friendship, which may just be an automatic gesture.

    Do something more personal where he feels a sense of personal gratitude for giving you his gifts of service. Invite him over for dinner or something. You should try to make it feel natural as part of your long-term friendship.
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    May 10, 2009 9:03 AM GMT
    rnch saidmy car mechanic and I have been friends for over 30 years, we worked together during my summer "vacations" from college.

    we've stayed in touch over the years, his wife and kids seem to like me also.

    he seldom charges me full price for any mechanical or air conditioning work he does for me. several times he has added freon to my car or truck's a/c and refused payment. last winter he changed the heater core on my town car (not an easy task!) and flatly refused any payment for his time and labor.

    i'm thinking of getting a gift card from the grocery store that he and his wife shop at and mailing it to him, with a short note expressing my gratitude for all he has done for me and my vehicles over the years.

    if you were he.......would you take that as an insult, compliment or something else?


    well, i don't think that a gift card is insulting. but a thoughful gift is much better. If you think that he won't accept it, maybe you can get a gift for his kids... or just invite them home for dinner or so..
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    May 10, 2009 9:04 AM GMT
    rnch saidmy car mechanic and I have been friends for over 30 years, we worked together during my summer "vacations" from college.

    we've stayed in touch over the years, his wife and kids seem to like me also.

    he seldom charges me full price for any mechanical or air conditioning work he does for me. several times he has added freon to my car or truck's a/c and refused payment. last winter he changed the heater core on my town car (not an easy task!) and flatly refused any payment for his time and labor.

    i'm thinking of getting a gift card from the grocery store that he and his wife shop at and mailing it to him, with a short note expressing my gratitude for all he has done for me and my vehicles over the years.

    if you were he.......would you take that as an insult, compliment or something else?


    well, i don't think that a gift card is insulting. but a thoughful gift is much better. If you think that he won't accept it, maybe you can get a gift for his kids... or just invite them home for dinner or so..
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    May 10, 2009 1:05 PM GMT
    jprichva said
    EastCoastNAZ saidIt may be viewed, not as an insult, but somewhat awkward. He's giving you "gifts" of service, and you giving a gift back is almost like you're not accepting his gifts.

    I sort of agree. Giving a gift is a really nice gesture, but giving cash or a cash equivalent (like a gift card) is like saying "Here, I'm paying you after all."

    Instead, a nice dinner out for him and the wife, or something that pertains to one of his hobbies (golf club? fishing pole?) or something the wife would particularly like. Actually, now that I think of it, giving his wife a gift would be particularly classy. It's like, okay, you wouldn't let me pay YOU but please allow me to make the missus happy.

    And since you're gay, he won't suspect you of trying to get into her undies.


    Something like getting her a day at a spa, with a massage, beauty treatment, nails etc (whatever you do on such things). Or a nice meal for the two of them in a nice restaurant. Those seem the nicest ideas if giving money/gift card could be misconstrued. Added to which, if she gets home feeling all sexy and glamorous then he will win from it too (ew, straight sex yuk)
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    May 10, 2009 2:48 PM GMT



    rnch, your heart is in the right place. We're both curious about the grocery card. Something has made you choose it for a reason. Tell; we'd love some background before we could say yea or nay....

  • rnch

    Posts: 11524

    May 10, 2009 3:19 PM GMT
    meninlove said


    rnch, your heart is in the right place. We're both curious about the grocery card. Something has made you choose it for a reason. Tell; we'd love some background before we could say yea or nay....

    a couple ot times i've stumbled across him and his wife at the grocery store, shopping for themselves and the 3 kids, intensely discussing meat and cereal prices. icon_lol.gif
  • rnch

    Posts: 11524

    May 10, 2009 3:23 PM GMT
    "5 bucks for a box of cereal, woman? are you INSANE? put that shit back where you got if from!!!" icon_lol.gificon_biggrin.gif
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    May 10, 2009 3:27 PM GMT
    Personally, I LOVE gift cards. I can get whatever I want....especially if I have multiple cards I can combine them to get something costly I normally would not get for myself.

    I think the grocery card shows a level of personalization since you see them in the market often - and groceries are something everyone needs anyway so it's not like he'll get the card and wonder "WTF do I do with this now??"