What Are Qualities You Look For In A Guy For Dating/Long Term Relationship?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 11, 2009 4:48 AM GMT
    Hey guys, what are qualities you look for in a guy to determine if you want to date him? Also, what are qualities you look for in a guy to determine if you want to have a long term relationship with him? Maybe by seeing each others answers, this will help us all in being more successful in dating & having long term relationships. icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 11, 2009 6:07 AM GMT
    i'm not really in a position to answer, i guess, since i'm not actively looking; however, to date/ltr a guy i generally need the following (which i have to be able to return, or it won't work):

    1) appreciates/accepts what i do, since it's wrapped up in my identity

    2) is completely and totally out as an lgbt person, allowing me to know him better by seeing all the people in his world

    3) understands that what i show people is a fraction of what remains to be seen, and gives me the time/place of my choosing to reveal at my comfort

    4) accepts that i'm deeply flawed, because i can't spend much time on a pedestal - too much to do to be stuck up there all day and night

    5) controls his jealousy by understanding that although there is opportunity, there is usually not interest (and when there is interest there is still honor and trust, both of which are more valuable to me than hooking up)
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    May 11, 2009 6:09 AM GMT
    NO DRAMA or BULL-SHYTicon_lol.gif
  • jrs1

    Posts: 4388

    May 11, 2009 6:15 AM GMT

    ideally:

    someone with whom I share a deep sense of passion.

    someone ' fired-up ' about their ambitions, goals, and the necessary work to manifest them.

    someone who is my friend, unconditionally, before all else.

    someone honest, faithful, and considerate.

    someone who values family, humility, knowledge & understanding, tolerance, deliberation, healthy competition, fun, physical & emotional love, and exploration.

    my preference for their appearance or physicality would depend on what we feel when we learn each other and also if we are attracted to each other by some, perhaps, unspoken logic/reason.
  • DrewT

    Posts: 1327

    May 11, 2009 6:23 AM GMT
    Well, I have to be attracted to him (it doesn't mean he has to be hot).

    He has to be intelligent, I like to talk about serious things every once in a while.

    He has to have a quirky sense of humor, or laugh at me when I say "funny" things (basically me being dumb).

    He should respect that sometimes I don't want him around. I need my personal space.

    Those I think are the big ones.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 11, 2009 6:26 AM GMT
    unlike other people I don't have a list..

    When I'm ready for something, he has to have something good, a good heart.. everything else is secondary and I've always been attracted solely to the good ones..

    Alas there are none to bother me with so I wait happily.
  • TadPohl

    Posts: 259

    May 11, 2009 6:40 AM GMT
    Someone who is ideal for a LTR relationship.....for me

    I'll be honest when I say that there are a few specific qualities that make a man suitable for a healthy and sexy long term relationship.

    When I look for a good man.....I want someone of character:
    "Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down."

    I want someone of integrity:
    "Real integrity is doing the right thing, knowing that nobody's going to know whether you did it or not."

    I want a man with compassion and empathy.
    "A good heart is better than all the heads in the world."
    "Stop the habit of wishful thinking and start the habit of thoughtful wishes."


    I want a man with a sense of humor.
    “A keen sense of humor helps us to overlook the unbecoming, understand the unconventional, tolerated the unpleasant, overcome the unexpected, and outlast the unbearable”

    Sexual attraction is not shallow and IS important.

    A self reliant man, who is a whole and complete human being is infinitely more appealing than a man who simply needs someone to feel completed. Co-dependency is not attractive. Who wants to be in a relationship with a vampire who'll drain you for what he thinks will fill his insecurity and toss you when he realizes that no amount can ever satiate that void.

    There is nothing more sexy than confidence and security in one's self.

    And most importantly....Chemistry.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 11, 2009 8:57 AM GMT
    At this point in my life and I agree with DancerJack:
    about being able to give what I want:

    1. He has to be emotionally available.
    2. He has to be marriage and monogomous minded.
    3. He has to understand that no relationship works without communication and be willing to show me the best way to allow him to open up.
    4. He must be passionate about something greater than himself.
    5. He must understand that we both need our away time and that doesnt mean away from each other, just for time to self.
    6. He must be able to see me as I am and us as we what we could be.


    some would say a tall order, but not really. I think most of us want a guy who is basically like that to start.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 11, 2009 8:59 AM GMT
    I'm only attracted to college educated guys - I've been meaning to start a debate about it.

    (j/k).
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    May 11, 2009 10:53 AM GMT
    Ambition Charm and Wit
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    May 11, 2009 11:16 AM GMT
    Off the top of my head... icon_smile.gif

    1) Physical attraction
    2) Honesty
    3) Some sense of ambition
    4) Similar interests
    5) Personality
    6) Has to make time for me
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 11, 2009 1:22 PM GMT
    at the top of the list
    silver hair or shaved head
    non stinky breath

    anything else - icing on the cake
    icon_razz.gificon_evil.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 11, 2009 2:12 PM GMT
    I look for an intelligent fun, curious about life mind that realizes that nobody is superman and that we all make mistakes........ at the same time that mind must be able to be assertive, courageous and proud.

    Other than that, having a convertable car would be nice.
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    May 11, 2009 2:25 PM GMT
    Some one who is just not mean and cruel and would never cheat or become verbally or physically abusive. Know what kind of guy that I'm off bat attracted to that from slender to muscular. I had both as lovers short and tall and I have had lover both of my own race blatino and not. icon_biggrin.gif
  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    May 11, 2009 2:44 PM GMT
    I need a guy that I can be a complete idiot around. Relationships always start with you on your best behavior and slowly you revert to your normal self. I need a guy who gets the fact that my jokes are often not funny, I hog the blankets in bed, I have awful low blood sugar and can be an ass when that happens... essentially, some who can say, "Robby, your being an idiot right now, but that's ok because you're my guy."
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    May 11, 2009 10:26 PM GMT
    i look to see if he has respect and love for his own mother...
  • Tigre87

    Posts: 12

    Aug 02, 2012 12:28 AM GMT
    The guy I would date and think about relationship would be...

    Gay, (cause I dont date with bisexual or "hetero")
    monogamous
    honesty
    know what he wants
    masculine
    serious


    some my principles...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 02, 2012 12:46 AM GMT
    Someone who is AWEMAZING!!!!!!

    Much like my bf icon_biggrin.gif