A True Real Life Story

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 11, 2009 8:48 AM GMT
    Joel and Michael are at a club. They walk to the bar to order drinks.

    Joel: I’ll take a cosmo, and a beer for the lady.

    Michael: Oh no you just didn’t say that.

    Joel: Okay, a tequila on the rocks for the lady.

    Michael: Oh, whateva… I can order my own drink, thank you very much.

    Joel: (hears the music in the background start) OMG, that’s my song! (pulls on Michael to go to the dance floor)

    Michael: (to the bartender excitedly) I’ll take that beer.

    Joel: (starts singing along to song)

    Michael: (starts grinding his ass against Joel invitingly)

    Joel and Michael start freak dancing. The straight women start cheer them on.

    Joel: Too many people are staring maybe we should go somewhere more quiet.

    Mike: C’mon girl let’s do this. What’s wrong? Scared to dance?

    Joel: I’ll do something for you, you haven’t had in a while.

    Mike: What’s wrong with rubbing the stick together?

    (interrupted by Jezzebelle)

    Jezz: ooo, Can I get this dance? Joel baby how you been?

    Mike: Oh, no who’s this bitch?

    Jezz: I’d call you a bitch but you don’t even have the balls to be one.

    Joel: LADIES PLEASE don’t do this here.
    Mike: You either tell her to leave or I’m going home with someone else.

    Joel: You throw that fit. It’s fine with me.

    Jezz: You’s a hoe. You wanna go home with anyone! You don’t even know Mike-a-boo!

    Mike: No no no no she did not.

    Joel: There’s only one way to settle this.

    Mike Jezz Joel: DANCE OFF!!!!!!

    Jezz and Mike: (they begin)

    Joel: (cheering it all on the crowd begins to form a circle)

    Jezz: YOU GOT SERVED!!!!!

    Joel: Jezz that was fantastic girl. I see the way you move and it makes me feel the way when we were younger.

    Mike: (smacks Joel) Bitch I know you didn’t say that.

    Joel: You’re my girl Mike. I wouldn’t do that to you!!!

    Jezz: You know you want a womens touch Joel. Don’t leave me out in the cold like that …… girl.

    Joel: please don’t say that! Specially in front of Mike!

    Mike: You told me that’s what you’ve always called me.

    Joel: Sorry Mike Ive been with Jezz before. I know I told you ive never been with a women before but she was my first.

    Mike: you bitch!!!

    Jezz: I guess I’m leaving this is beyond the point of gay. Joel I thought I knew what you liked. Remember?
    Mike: This girl is trippin’? Let’s go Joel.

    Joel: I think I’m gonna stay a while and talk. Why don’t you stay.

    Mike: Fuck you bitch.

    Jezz: You wish, C’mon Joel.

    Mike: (begins to cry) I hate you both, why don’t you go fuck yourselves.

    Jezz: Maybe we’ll go fuck each other instead.

    Joel: Doesn’t sound bad to me…. Let’s go.

    (Mike dies from a drug overdose later that night … too bad. Meh.)


    I'm Joel and I hate life now. What do I do? Should I carry on the relationship with Jezz?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 11, 2009 12:36 PM GMT
    Meh?!

    jeezus.
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    May 11, 2009 2:28 PM GMT


    er, I'll admit it was like reading a conversation being had by members of another species.

    Bigguy84 - you are Joel? I'd see a counselor and go over this with him, very thoroughly and ASAP. I feel that it's not life you hate, but your behaviour, yourself. and dare I say this, the company you keep.


    -Doug of meninlove


  • Bunjamon

    Posts: 3161

    May 11, 2009 2:54 PM GMT
    How do I get that 3 minutes back? I want a refund.
  • swimbikerun

    Posts: 2835

    May 11, 2009 2:57 PM GMT
    This is also a true story:

    Who Am I Now? omg
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    May 11, 2009 2:58 PM GMT
    From the post, I can't see that you hate your life. Much. Or at all. Nor do you seem to feel any remorse for your actions or any sort of seriousness at all. So I say keep on with your relationship with Jezz. It's not like Mike mattered that much to you. Meh.
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    May 11, 2009 2:58 PM GMT
    Bunjamon saidHow do I get that 3 minutes back? I want a refund.

    Hah. Agreed.
  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    May 11, 2009 2:59 PM GMT
    I was once in a creative writing class where the professor said something very poignant about plot and the willing suspense of disbelief:

    "Just because it happened in real life, doesn't mean anyone will believe it when you write it down. That's the job of a good writer."
  • Bunjamon

    Posts: 3161

    May 11, 2009 3:08 PM GMT
    calibro saidI was once in a creative writing class where the professor said something very poignant about plot and the willing suspense of disbelief:

    "Just because it happened in real life, doesn't mean anyone will believe it when you write it down. That's the job of a good writer."


    The difference between truth and verisimilitude. Good stuff.
  • SFGeoNinja

    Posts: 510

    May 11, 2009 3:34 PM GMT
    You bitches are meant for each other. DO IT already!
  • Rookz

    Posts: 947

    May 11, 2009 3:49 PM GMT
    What's the point of this besides a waste of time and an invitation to be disgusted?
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    May 11, 2009 3:52 PM GMT
    more cliche than a Nic Cage movie
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 11, 2009 4:10 PM GMT
    I thought it was pretty funny.
    Am I a bad person? icon_sad.gif
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    May 11, 2009 7:23 PM GMT

    I don't let gender lines constrain me and I often assign the term of endearment, "girl or lady" to friends and lovers but, I even wanted to slap the guy in your story who was doing it. He was condescending and idiotic with it.
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    May 11, 2009 7:52 PM GMT
    I presume "Jezzebelle" is a nom de slut, after the Biblical Jezebel? She certainly behaved like the classic wicked hussy her name has come to represent.
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    May 11, 2009 8:26 PM GMT
    samerphx saidthat the only reason why i hate gay bars or gay club. people start drama.

    I can usually manage to establish a "drama-free zone" around me in the club. And when people try to drag me into it, I just walk away. Pretty soon they begin to realize I'm a non-player in that game, and look elsewhere for entertainment.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    May 11, 2009 8:32 PM GMT
    I stopped reading halfway through. Too much to do in this office than read through this encounter... LOL