FInding it hard to be the one night stand...

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 11, 2009 1:21 PM GMT
    Until recently I would be the guy listening to the exploits of my friends, with no tails of my own to tell.

    That seems to have dramatically changed, whether be it the physical change in my appearance or the new instilled confidence, I am now experiencing greater attention from guys and in turn an unexpected influx of my own "one night stands".

    Now don't get me wrong having guys notice and for a change want me, is invigorating to say the least, and in no way am I ungrateful or willing to abuse it, but for someone not used to it, it is becoming (for lack of a better word) an addiction.

    You see this new found lifestyle is very quickly taking over, within only the past few weeks it is happening more frequently and after each time it leaves me wanting to continue unable to wait until the following week.

    For someone who is considerate of others this is becoming somewhat of a dilemma, I find myself getting hung up on a new guy almost every week. I'm finding it difficult to stop myself from getting to know them, even more so opening myself up to them and I feel I'm getting burnt in the process.

    This new guy is not who I was, but thats not to say it can't be a part of me, however do I just embrace it and separate my emotions, or do I try to hold on to my self respect and slow down.

    I know a lot of you may see what I've written as arrogant, but in all honesty I don't know where to go with this, this entire thing is new to me, and so far I keep getting opinions without any real advise.

    xo
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    May 11, 2009 1:27 PM GMT
    You know, some guys just aren't wired for casual meaningless sex. Don't beat yourself up if you're finding it difficult.
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    May 11, 2009 1:49 PM GMT
    Give it a few months and you'll get real tired of take out icon_neutral.gif
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    May 11, 2009 2:15 PM GMT
    If it's not working.....it's just not working, why force something that doesn't feel right?

    You wrote in one sentence: "this new found lifestyle is quickly taking over....leaves me wanting.....unable". Does that sound healthy?

    Your topic is "finding it hard...."

    People can change here and there but ultimately we really are just who we are. If you play with fire long enough (no matter how warm and beautiful it is) you're gonna get burned. Sounds like you're beginning to love the fire but hate the burning pain that comes with it. Don't loose who you are by opening yourself up to something you aren't. All the best sydneysyder, live and learn, live and learn man.
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    May 11, 2009 2:17 PM GMT
    One morning, you'll be driving home with the hard east sun blinding you - still dressed in last night's black circuit boy clothes - and you'll slink back to your house and shed those clothes and hop into your shower - hurrying so you're not late to work. You'll be thinking, "What was that guy's name - and why do I do this?" "Maybe if I stopped this, I'd find one real, good boyfriend."

    Then - you'll know you've had your fill of one-nighters!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 11, 2009 2:26 PM GMT
    Not hard for me at all I just won't be one or do one. Really quite simple.
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    May 11, 2009 2:28 PM GMT
    Jockbod48 said
    Then - you'll know you've had your fill of one-nighters!


    Excellent advice! It only took me 1 time driving away and going to work in the same clothes I wore the day before to work ( I was young and stupid then) to put a lid on it. And I did get some strange looks at work that day.
  • twentyfourhou...

    Posts: 243

    May 11, 2009 2:35 PM GMT
    Or the one day you wake up with the drip!
    That might be the reality check - hopefully all it turns out to be is a bad case of GC or Chlamydia.
    Ya Ya i know, "but i always wear a condom".
    OK so then, it may not be the drip but a new case of herpes on the base of the penis OR in your mouth.
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    May 11, 2009 2:48 PM GMT
    Ur still very young, find out wut it is, u really want, and then just go for it. In da interim, be safe and rap-it-upicon_lol.gif
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    May 11, 2009 2:53 PM GMT
    twentyfourhourslater saidOr the one day you wake up with the drip!
    That might be the reality check - hopefully all it turns out to be is a bad case of GC or Chlamydia.
    Ya Ya i know, "but i always wear a condom".
    OK so then, it may not be the drip but a new case of herpes on the base of the penis OR in your mouth.



    PREACH THAT TRUTH BRO!!
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    May 11, 2009 3:36 PM GMT
    I don't think you're arrogant. I think you're just blunt and to the point - thank God! Others would have this rolling on for pages.

    My Opinion: Some people, like me, just don't enjoy One Night Stands. Seeing as you've actively participated, I think more than anything you have the right to say if it's for your or not.

    My Advice: If it hurts or just isn't a lifestyle you want, start using your hand. Only you know what's right for you when it comes to this. Just embrace what you feel comfortable with.

    Perhaps you are feeling a bit two sided, meaning when it happens it's great but when it's over you feel a bit used and have wasted some time on someone that just wanted something to play with? If so, you'll need to reconcile your abilities in separating what your dick wants from what decisions you make in life. If you feel horny at a bar or out in public and wish you knew what the guy cruising you looks like underneath his clothes, but know after chatting that he only wants to play until the new toy is released, then just go home and handle it yourself. There are millions upon millions of hot guys in this world, try to discover them on porn instead of on your back if you're feeling a bit used.



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    May 11, 2009 7:14 PM GMT

    You did all that hard work and lost all that weight just to hand your pearls to swine and now that certain misconceptions about thin people are revealed (we don't fuck everything that moves just cause we can), you're upset and have decided to retreat to your old compulsive overeating. Instead, this time, you've replaced too much food with TOO many men. Over doing it on either can be.....upsetting.

    The "getting to know them" part is just a protective measure you've employed to ease any guilt you feel about there being too many! I just hope that is one of two protective measures you are using.icon_wink.gif

    Believe me honey, I speak from experience....you don't want to get to know everyone of them, just don't let there too many and you can stop lying to yourself. Knowing the name and favorite childhood memory of every one of your numerous trics won't make you any less of a slut.



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    Jun 16, 2009 10:06 PM GMT
    Ill be right over.
  • wander2340

    Posts: 176

    Jun 16, 2009 10:30 PM GMT
    For me it was healthier to just get it out of my system then to do nothing and always wonder what it was like. Don't beat yourself up just because you are having some new experiences. If you met your soul mate and still had these conflicting emotions you could ruin the relationship.

    Once you find that special guy (and he is out there) you'll learn that sex is WAY better with someone you love and feel completely comfortable with. In the meantime just be as safe as you possibly can and enjoy life to it's fullest.
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    Jun 20, 2009 3:31 PM GMT
    wander2340 saidFor me it was healthier to just get it out of my system then to do nothing and always wonder what it was like. Don't beat yourself up just because you are having some new experiences. If you met your soul mate and still had these conflicting emotions you could ruin the relationship.


    lol this reminds me of the song, I think it's Train, Drops of Jupiter ... what, you think I'll post a youtube of it?

    "Tell me... did you sail across the sun
    Did you make it to the milky way to see the lights all faded
    And that heaven is overrated?

    Tell me, did you fall for a shooting star
    One without a permanent scar
    And did you miss me while you were looking at yourself out there?

    ...

    Tell me did the wind sweep you off your feet
    Did you finally get the chance to dance along the light of day
    And head back to the milky way
    And tell me, did venus blow your mind
    Was it everything you wanted to find
    And did you miss me while you were looking for yourself out there?


    across-the-universe.jpg

    This song is the only thing I think about when I'm having a one-night stand. I still have no idea why icon_neutral.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 20, 2009 3:54 PM GMT
    I think one night stands are a male right of passage... and with gay men it is more prevalent...i have had them and still have them on occassion... sometimes it is just about the physical act of sex... no reason to be embarassed or ashamed...if u derive physical pleasure from it and are not hurting anyone... then relax and go for it....
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    Jun 21, 2009 7:09 AM GMT
    I think it's important to stay true to yourself. Attention's attention regarding your physical attributes and it's really a dime a dozen depending on the environment you're meeting these guys in. However, someone wanting to take the time to actually get to know you is a much higher compliment in my opinion.

    If you feel like it's becoming an issue, simply take a different approach when meeting people. There's nothing wrong with hanging out with a guy a few times before taking it further. The people who tell you different are easy come easy go...if you're horny and they turn you on, take advantage. If not, then don't worry about it. They're more than likely not going to be that great of a catch if they're trying to shack up with you at a night club.